Forum

Welcome, Guest

fresh start

(0 viewing)

Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

Reply Topic

New Topic

Page:
1
...
33
34
35
36
37
38
39
...
79

TOPIC: fresh start 79613 Views

Re: fresh start 15 Oct 2009 09:36 #23545

7yipol Current streak: 3 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder YES HE CAN! Posts: 4686 Karma: 12	And I think age and stage are very different. 15, 25 and 35 are nothing more than numbers. A person must be ready for what marraige entails. I say wait.
	Hashem is addicted to you! Feel His hugs!"Sheva yipol tzaddik VKUM" Last Edit: by milad.

Re: fresh start 15 Oct 2009 11:18 #23569

Sturggle Current streak: 178 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1706 Karma: 1	dov wrote on 14 Oct 2009 16:58: (Where is Ms Mayefsky when you need her?) who's that? and, Dov, thanks for your response.
	Last Edit: by Jdubster.

Re: fresh start 15 Oct 2009 11:26 #23570

Sturggle
Current streak: 178 days
OFFLINE
Platinum Boarder
Posts: 1706
Karma: 1

Kedusha wrote on 14 Oct 2009 14:04:

Marriage doesn't mean that life will be problem free. But, one eventually gets to the point where he is ready to exchange one set of problems for another! May you get there, b'Shaah Tova!

Amen!
I know...

guardureyes wrote on 14 Oct 2009 18:58:

Instead of ignoring Shidduchim, why not go out and see what happens?
But what's wrong with starting? You are 25 and you aint getting any younger...

Been there , done that. Have been dating for the last two years or so...
Well, now, I've almost had a 6 month break...

bardichev wrote on 14 Oct 2009 19:01:

YEAH GO OUT!!
IF ITS AN AMERICAN
REMEBER WHO IS PICKING YOU UP IN JFK

You might have to fight that out with my sister,
although, I'm sure she'll be happy for someone else to do the favor.

7Up wrote on 15 Oct 2009 09:36:

And I think age and stage are very different.
15, 25 and 35 are nothing more than numbers.
A person must be ready for what marraige entails.
I say wait.

Well, mom knows best.
Maybe I should forward you all prospective calls...

Last Edit: by info+struggle.

Re: fresh start 15 Oct 2009 11:31 #23571

Sturggle Current streak: 178 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1706 Karma: 1	Ok, so I think that if I would be dating now, and something would work out with someone, it would mean that we're in the same place as each other now. If I don't like where I'm at right now, then I don't want to find someone who is matim to the me of now, b/c that's not whom I want to be with. Make any sense?
	Last Edit: by Michal.

Re: fresh start 15 Oct 2009 12:30 #23594

the.guard Current streak: 805 days OFFLINE Moderator Posts: 6438 Karma: 138	I don't want to find someone who is matim to the me of now... Make any sense? It makes sense, but luckily Hashem knows who the real you is, and what/who is matim to the you of yesterday and tomorrow as well! But maybe go with Mom on this one, she has more down to earth wisdom about these things. Really.
	Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest. Last Edit: by ronb.

Re: fresh start 15 Oct 2009 12:34 #23598

Sturggle Current streak: 178 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1706 Karma: 1	conceding on my thread, defeating on rage's... interesting...
	Last Edit: by simy.

Re: fresh start 15 Oct 2009 12:41 #23600

G38
OFFLINE
Gold Boarder
Posts: 233
Karma: 1

sturggle wrote on 15 Oct 2009 11:31:

Ok, so I think that if I would be dating now,
and something would work out with someone,
it would mean that we're in the same place as each other now.
If I don't like where I'm at right now,
then I don't want to find someone who is matim
to the me of now, b/c that's not whom I want to be with.

Make any sense?

No sense at all.

After your struggle all the way there is now doubt that you deserve the Eizer rather that the Kenegdo.

So if she is defind to help you working your way up she could easly be the crane controler.
By getting into marriage you are just going up a level in the game.

Don't let such thoughts scare you away from the right one, it is your HUG from your father, accept it!

Last Edit: by .

Re: fresh start 15 Oct 2009 12:53 #23607

Sturggle
Current streak: 178 days
OFFLINE
Platinum Boarder
Posts: 1706
Karma: 1

G38 wrote on 15 Oct 2009 12:41:

sturggle wrote on 15 Oct 2009 11:31:

not sure i chopped...
explanation?

Last Edit: by eva1.

Re: fresh start 15 Oct 2009 21:08 #23772

Sturggle
Current streak: 178 days
OFFLINE
Platinum Boarder
Posts: 1706
Karma: 1

כ"ז תשרי
Day 1 + 1

Ok, I think I'm going to try to start adding somethings to these daily updates.

One, I know someone who was R"L killed in a pigua a number of years back and left behind quotes that he was amassing privately. These were found in his bag after his death. I would like to share one a day and I think they're good, so hopefully we'll get some good chazara and may it be an aliyah for his neshama.

"Don’t make out that something is very obvious or people will be scared to ask questions."

Another idea I had, which is inspired most specifically by Dov, is that everyday I'd like to point out something positive about a (currently active) member of the forum. Please feel free to add. I'm going to try to keep it short and sweet. Point is not to be all encompassing and say everything, just the idea of taking focus off of me, me, me.
Will start with that, bli neder, tomorrow, well, really, today.

Last Edit: 15 Oct 2009 21:43 by Kollalove.

Re: fresh start 15 Oct 2009 21:18 #23775

Sturggle Current streak: 178 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1706 Karma: 1	and about the whole shidduch thing, i am not going for it at this moment in time. was just sharing that it is a difficult area for me. thank you all for your pointers.
	Last Edit: by Rcovering.

Re: fresh start 15 Oct 2009 21:20 #23777

Sturggle
Current streak: 178 days
OFFLINE
Platinum Boarder
Posts: 1706
Karma: 1

dov wrote on 14 Oct 2009 16:58:

sturggle wrote on 14 Oct 2009 13:25:

i wasnt even involved this time around.
how do i work on that?

ppl close to me not communicating,
the whole world seems like it runs around them.
me? im a fly on the wall, if even that.
i dont want to have any expectations.
i want to be able to be mevatel myself.
how do i do so successfully?
when everyone around me is making themselves out to be all that matters in the world?

BZZzzzzzzzzzzzzt! SLAPP! (ouch!) -

Let's have some color-coded fun!

Have you usually been of MORE use being involved, or LESS...does it tend to backfire even though your intentions are good? With some people in my immediate family I of far more use to them when I stay out of their mess and let them come to me. And most of the time it's very uncomfortable to do, and I need someone's help just for me to shut up...
I'd take 10 minutes to write down the answers to these little annoying questions:
"I don't want to have any expectations..."
Expectations of what?
and: From who?
Have I gotten these things before from anyone...why do I wish inside to get these things, anyway? Do they do me any good?

"I want to be mevatel myself..."
To whom? (or is it who? Where is Ms Mayefsky when you need her?)
As far as I know, I need to be mevatel myself TO somebody. Trying to just "mevatel" myself TO nothing is visceral
ly revolting. Being a shmateh is OK, as long as it's for Hashem's use or for a cause greater than myself. But just to be a shmateh for anyone to coma along and wipe their mess up with is yucky and backfires with my resentments taking over eventually....

Dov,

Still thinking about this one,
have some thoughts,
but not ready to post them yet.

Last Edit: by Sara Cohen.

Re: fresh start 15 Oct 2009 22:08 #23796

the.guard Current streak: 805 days OFFLINE Moderator Posts: 6438 Karma: 138	great idea! Make sure to post lots of nice things about me.
	Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest. Last Edit: by Moshiach77.

Re: fresh start 15 Oct 2009 22:29 #23806

Dov
OFFLINE
Administrator
Posts: 1960
Karma: 383

sturggle wrote on 15 Oct 2009 21:20:

I'd take 10 minutes to write down the answers to these little annoying questions:
"I don't want to have any expectations..."
Expectations of what?
and: From who?
Have I gotten these things before from anyone...why do I wish inside to get these things, anyway? Do they do me any good?

"I want to be mevatel myself..."
To whom? (or is it who? Where is Ms Mayefsky when you need her?)
As far as I know, I need to be mevatel myself TO somebody. Trying to just "mevatel" myself TO nothing is viscerally revolting. Being a shmateh is OK, as long as it's for Hashem's use or for a cause greater than myself. But just to be a shmateh for anyone to come along and wipe their mess up with, is yucky and backfires with my resentments taking over eventually....

Dov,

Still thinking about this one,
have some thoughts,
but not ready to post them yet.

Why think at all? You can write the answers down for yourself - even if they may sound real dumb - and post them later, if you like...

Later.

"Off the 18-wheeler and fine on this tricycle!", "I do not particularly care exactly which "lav" suicide is. I'm not interested in it for other reasons...and you are probably the same."

Last Edit: by nachum kilaib.

Re: fresh start 15 Oct 2009 23:10 #23828

7yipol Current streak: 3 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder YES HE CAN! Posts: 4686 Karma: 12	guardureyes wrote on 15 Oct 2009 22:08: great idea! Make sure to post lots of nice things about me. Sturggle, tell him he is the Grape Nut cereal king. Head anav indeed! :
	Hashem is addicted to you! Feel His hugs!"Sheva yipol tzaddik VKUM" Last Edit: by Embaraased.

Re: fresh start 15 Oct 2009 23:17 #23830

Dov OFFLINE Administrator Posts: 1960 Karma: 383	sturggle wrote on 15 Oct 2009 11:18: dov wrote on 14 Oct 2009 16:58: (Where is Ms Mayefsky when you need her?) who's that? and, Dov, thanks for your response. my english teacher in MTA high school a long time ago.... (oops, I meant English)
	"Off the 18-wheeler and fine on this tricycle!", "I do not particularly care exactly which "lav" suicide is. I'm not interested in it for other reasons...and you are probably the same." Last Edit: by jakenottis.