ToAdd wrote on 15 Feb 2011 06:27:

you can always try art, music and soapbox politics...

seriously, self-awareness is great!

Yosef, I'm pretty sure he's talking about somebody else.

Yea, I'm aesthetically challenged and have no rythm so that rules out art and music; and every time I try take over the world, I realise I have to start with myself and that kills that idea.

My plan is to let people know how I feel in a better way (that is not hurtful).
When I'm down, I'm going to try not withdraw into myself, I'm going to find some way of letting it out.

Quote of the day:
My parents would be so proud to find out I'm in SA and doing so well!
Now that's a bitter-sweet pill.

Hello
Just checking in.
Still Trucking.
- ToAdd.

ToAdd wrote on 18 Feb 2011 07:22:


"Checking in" is not a 'just'. It is a MAJOR THING!!!!


Enjoy the ride!

Im at that stage where I'm asking myself "Am I an addict, or do I just have a bad habit?"
Clean for two weeks and already I have "forgotten" how I could not stop myself running to serve  [insert name of the pn gd here].
Maybe it was just a habbit, right now I don't care what I call it, I'm not going there again.

I got some really bad news this morning. My biological mother will probably not live long, the cancer is winning. I don't really know her, but I feel so sad. Wow, real tears.

Still feeling down.
And what does the y"h do? Last night she sent me a wet dream.
Deep Sigh.

ToAdd wrote on 22 Feb 2011 05:29:


Sooo?  Why is that a reason to sigh?

See the Wet Dreams Thread. Especially this post in that thread.



Unless your sigh is because of this:
ToAdd wrote on 22 Feb 2011 05:29:

Then I fully understand how you are feeling! 

The dream does not worry me.
The radiation therapy “did not make things worse”, which is good, it buys some more time.

Last night, I caught my mind trying to turn to lust for comfort, digging up old fantasies.
I changed the channel to a problem I have at work and thought about that instead – worked like a charm.

I’m a bit happier today.
Just need to keep on trucking!

These forums keep logging me out.
Good thing I copy my post from another app (to check spleling).

ToAdd wrote on 23 Feb 2011 05:59:
;D

Checking in again.
Day 18 
I'm mostly over the sadness.
Been listening to the shiurim from happywife.com, I enjoy them, he's funny AND has a good point.
I love life. A little difficult, but lots of good stuff.
Things are so different now compared to a year ago.
Thank you Hashem.

Toadd, it is an honor to be here. Id like to thank you, comrade, for checking on me here and there....i think im sane today...those pills are really strong... .sorry. I tried a few times to pm and post here and meiHshem yatzah hadavar, didnt work out. Bli neder, id like to check out your whole story. Does it have any gargoyles in it?
right now i gotto go, the presidents waiting, but im here for u (im not worth much, but ive got some wicked directions to the tachana merkazit if u ever need)
your friend,
tz90

Thank you Tzaddik90
That really put a smile on my face. I'm honoured to have you here.

My story starts over here:
www.guardyoureyes.org/forum/index.php?topic=2614.msg69825#msg69825
Wow, that was about 9 months ago. And today, I am a different person.
This thread is just a log. I found it really helps to check in often.

Update: That "other person" that was such a misery in my life left the company at the end of last year.
I've worked out all my issues there, I know where I went wrong and after that ordeal, I'm not going to make those mistakes again.

Keep on trucking.
ToAdd

I slipped a bit last night.
Not sure why. During the day I had full opportunity but distracted myself with something else.
Then when everyone was asleep (and I was wiiiide awake) I got up and started flicking through the channels.
Just bored. Perhaps a bit irritable and seeking comfort. Perhaps a form of sulking.

Whatever the reason,
just keep on trucking.

they sell something called southern comfort.......
scotty beam me up