UAJ
that was a great post
honest and clear

very very important idea about not being or even trying to be perfect
thank you for that



and just a small reminder
before you make INA second-in-command of the United States of UAJ
i gave you semicha a while ago...
so i should at least be a Minister-without-Portfolio

Gevaldiggggggggg!!

KOT!!!

2000 here we come!!

ZemirosShabbos wrote on 06 Jan 2011 18:51:


Originally, I was going to say the Bardstown foreign ambassador, but given that Bards made no comment on your proposed defection who know the skys the limit.

One think I have to say that the official langauge of the USUAJ is going to have to be Yiddish.  I went on the Yiddish thread last night and I chapped such a gelechtig gur groisser than on the Kalta Plotz for dem Muray Shcora.

Ich Red nor a bissul yiddish, efsher ich farshtait a bissel Yinglish.  Uber Tayrah Yiddisher Kinder farshtay nisht Porn dos iz de yerusha far de Goyim ubber gayin mit di oiygelach in vachin dem porn afelo im nisht farshtayn.  Az a kapparah tzo dem is too epes farshtay di Yiddish als dos is der Yerusha from der heilegah mammas un der tattas.

BH had a wonderful shabbos.
I had a wonderful insight on the parsha. If you read the parsha it seems that the bnei yisroel borrowed from the mitzriam after makkos bechoros which would make some sense since the mitzriam at that point would do anything to get rid of the bnei yisroel. The problem is that the bnei yisroel were not allowed to leave their houses all night and they were chased out at the crack of dawn hence the matzah. The alshich learns that they borrowed everything before makkos bechoros. So it comes out that the mitzreim gave them all their wealth simply based on the niseyas chayn that the rbso instilled in the mitzreim for the bnei yisroel. What's the lesson for us or me? We all know (whether or not we act on it) that our parnassah is dependent on the rbso. But what about the way people perceive us. The possuk is teaching us that this too is dependent on the RBSO. Whether or not you'll find favour in your wife's eyes in the cop who pulled your over is from Hashem. So the next time I want to have sex and my wife is refusing. The address to resolve that issue is upstairs.

If we must choose between Yiddish or the Goyishe yerushah, then the choice is clear: Mir zener Yidden. Mir redden Yiddish!!!!  :D

My point got lost in the lack of translation. It was we took porn the inheritance of the goyim and something which in essence we don't understand because we have shaychis too it and tried to understand. So in the tikkun stage the least we could do is take something which we do have shaychus to and try and understand it.

Signing up for Yiddish 101?

Yosef Hatzadik wrote on 10 Jan 2011 01:11:


Would love to, especially if you're giving it.

ur-a-jew wrote on 10 Jan 2011 04:23:


Did you see my post over here?

So I had a buddy of mine who recently had a hard time staying out of trouble in planning for an upcoming vacation.  A feeling I certainly can relate to.  For an addict it seems that an essential component of a vacation is sex.  Then when you add in warmer climate you run in to the beach problem.  Indeed, even if you know you are not going to go to the beach there is the trying to find a way to make it work.  Finally, there is always the challenge of the television in the room.  Since its there right in front of you it is almost a sin not to use it. 

I don't have a solution to all of these problems.  But I learned something in the Chovos Halevovos last night that reminded me of it.  The Chovos Halevovos says that one of the chesbonei hanefesh a person must make is to consider the plans he makes before he goes away on a trip.  There are the travel arrangements, then the hotel, the food, what are we going to do once we get there.  Sometimes the planning of the vacation is longer than the actual trip itself. Says the Chovos Halevovos we are all going on a trip, and the trip is for eternity.  What plans have we made for that trip.  At a minimum the same sort of planning that we do for our earthly trips should be invested in our eternal trip. 

I was thinking about this Chovos Halevovos this morning and an interesting thought occurred to me.  We know that the pleasure in Olam Haba has no comparison to the pleasure in Olam Hazeh.  Rav Dessler says that if one wants to get a sense of the pleasure in Olam Haba he should imagine all the pleasure that he has in a year, then add to it the pleasure that he has in the course of his lifetime, then add to it the pleasure of everyone alive, then add to it the pleasure of everyone who has ever lived that does not compare to the pleasure in Olam Haba.  So if we are such pleasure seekers (hence the constant focus on sex) how come we pay no heed to the ultimate pleasure that we can get in Olam Haba.  The answer I beleive is that either we don't really believe that such pleasure is awaiting us.  Or, we really are not so focused on pleasure.  Meaning the porn, the sex, its not really pleasure, an escape maybe, but not real satisfying pleasure, and deep down we know it.  So we don't consider ourselves pleasure seekers and therefore we don't focus on the ultimate pleasure either.  Does that make sense?  Just some thoughts.

Anyways, Thank You Hashem for another day of sobriety for helping me re-connect to my wife and for giving me this wonderful family.

thanks for sharing that!

ur-a-jew wrote on 12 Jan 2011 16:09:


I never understood that sex or porn is not real pleasure.  Le'maseh we enjoy it right now, were not thinking about anything else, and we don't care of the later consequences. The point is that were focucsed on the moment and thinking about our wives, children, and especially olam haba is too far fetched right now. 

Rav Akiva Tatz writes about the fact that sex is such an obsession and is used to market anything and everything from toothpaste to boots.

Reason it is so alluring and such a draw for many is because it is an experience where we feel that we have 'arrived' at the destination. Where everything else fades away and we feel that we are complete and there is no pursuit anymore. As opposed to the majority of time and activities where usually there is something we are working towards, some as-yet unreached point.

(This is also why that is when life is re-generated, at conception, when the process seems to have reached the end, that is when it starts again).

This concept holds true when the sex is in the proper parameters, i.e. with a loving spouse. When it is corrupted and perverted and taking out of its correct context then the pleasure is marred by the guilt and the 'fallen' state of selfish indulgence. That prevents it from feeling as the complete 'arrival' it should be. It feeds on itself. We want that pleasure and feeling of arrival but it cannot be had because it is taken out of context. So we keep looking for more and more and spiral out of control.

We can never be satisfied by porn/lust.

Stuart wrote on 12 Jan 2011 18:34:


So you are saying there is a third alternative which is that as addicts we have dual personalities.  There is the "normal" side of us that we present to the public that really believes in schar v'onesh and olam haba, etc, and then there is the addict side which essentially throws all that out the window and sees one thing, and one thing only:  Satisfaction of our Lust.  Pretty scary.  Can't believe I missed that one.

ur-a-jew wrote on 12 Jan 2011 18:57:

is that not the 'addiction', the 'ruach shtus', the 'sickness', whatever it is called that takes over when the lust presents itself?