thank you UAJ for sharing that message!

Just got "caught up".  Such insight comes only from One place.  Thanks for being there for all of us.

Almost everyone here even those not on Duvid Chaim's calls should have heard of the need to look for A&W moments, i.e., to recognize Hashem's involvement in our lives on a daily basis. I was learning this morning in Chovos Halevovos that this is a key element to Bitachon (which is a critical aspect of sobriety since if I can't or don't place my trust in the RBSO I'm ultimately going to place my trust elsewhere and for many of us that elsewhere is in the image of some naked woman in a picture or a scantily clad woman walking down the street). 

The Chovos Halevovos writes that there are seven aspects necessary for someone to have true bitachon in a person.  The fifth one is that the person your placing your trust in has a unique relationship and a long history with you.  You've gone through life and that person was always there for you. 

והחמישית שיהיה מתיחד בהנהגת הבוטח עליו מתחלת הויתו וגדולתו וינקותו ונערותו ובחרותו וישישותו וזקנתו
עד תכלית ענינו וכשיתברר כל זה ממנו לבוטח יתחייב שתנוח נפשו עליו וישען עליו
בעבור מה שקדם לו עליו מן הטובות העודפות והתועליות המתמידות ויהיה זה מחייב חזקת בטחונו בו

If I don't see the RBSO in my life constantly, I can't expect to have bitachon on him when things get rough.  Thus, I need to look out and see the RBSO constantly on a daily basis in my life.  Thank You Hashem for this wonderful message.

gevaldig!

Just made a year clean.  I'm cured!!!  Thank You Hashem!!!

ur-a-jew wrote on 10 Jun 2011 15:54:


And then I woke up.

May Hashem help all my "Good morning!!"s (after dreaming that I am cured) be not too embarrassing and nasty....Amen.

Mazel tov on such a beautiful milestone!
and it is great that you have the correct mindset and know not to feel that you can now take the peanut butter off your glasses...
wishing you much continued growth and success

While I would love to say that I've been cured, enough sense I have to know that I am far from anything like that.  Truth is last night I felt similar to the way things were when I first came here (although last night at least I had the tools to be able to put things in perspective).

When I was thinking about what a year means.  The thing that made me the happiest, is that I was able to achieve some consistency.  Try as I may I have never been able to learn daf yomi for any extended period of time and I'm like that in too many areas of life.  I can start things that are really good but it is hard to be consistent with them and carry them through to fruition.  So it feels very good to be able to say that I have at least been consistent in this one little small area of my life.  Maybe there have been other times when I haven't looked at pornographic material for over a year.  But now I can happily say that this year was different in that I actively worked on this area for a year straight.  Aside from not looking at porn, I consciously have not picked up a tabloid or a magazine (other than a purely business related one) for a year.  I have consciously not gone onto to facebook for a year.  And for these successes I am eternally grateful to Hashem, and to all the members of this wonderful site who have helped me reach this point.

My tefillah to Hashem is that I continue to grow along with everyone else in this holy place called GYE.

Amen!!

I saw something recently which if implemented ("if" is the biggest word in the dictionary) has the potential to be life changing.  I'm writing it here so that maybe it will serve as a reminder for me (annd maybe someone else will find it useful too).  The Sefer Chareidim brings down that there is mitzvah to remember verbally that Hashem is the one who gives you the ability to everything in the world and a person should throughout the day be mekayim this Mitzvah by saying pissukim that speak of Hashem's greatness:

וזכרת את ה אלהיך כי הוא הנותן לך כח לעשות חיל הרי זו מצות עשה לזכור את ה׳ תמיד על דרך שויתי ה׳ לנגדי תמיד ואמר המשורר ויערב זכרך על לשוני כמו נופת צוף טעמתי וכתיב לשמך ולזכרך תאות נפש
ולמעלה מפסוק זה בפ׳ זו כתיב השמר לך פן תשכח את ה אלהיך וכתב רבינו יונה שזו מצות לא תעשה שלא לשכוח שמו הגדול רגע ונלמוד ממה דאמרינן בספרי בכמה דוכתי זכור יכול בלב כשהוא אומר
לא תשכח הרי לב אמור הא מה אני מקיים זכור בפה והכא נמי דכוות׳ ואמר תחלה פן תשכח בלב והדר אמר וזכרת בפה והיינו דכתב רבינו יונה ויש לאדם בכל יום לעתים לעורר האהבה ולומר בפיו פסוק זכרון יוצרנו
ויראתו ית׳ כגון מלא כל הארץ כבודו ופסוק גדול העצה ורב העליליה אשר עיניך פקוחות על כל דרכי בני אדם אלהי עולם ה׳ וכיוצא באלה, וכן היה נוהג מורי הרב החסיד כמהר״ר יוסף סאגיש זלה״ה ובתוקף חיבה
לעתים מרגלא בפומיה לשון נוסח תפלה דראש השנה אשרי איש שלא ישכחך ובן אדם יתאמץ בך

After I learned this I tried to get in the habit of doing this especially when I'm walking down the city streets, it's a useful distraction from the many sights the city has to offer.
I don't know why but I picked the possuk:  ה מלך ה מלך ה ימלוך לעולם ועד But I figured that i can't just say it that would be little help in distracting, I needed to dissect it.

ה מלך - Hashem is the King.  I reminded myself of a vort Reb Zilberstein brings down from Reb Chaim Brisker which I've posted elsewhere in which he explains the possukim in the beginning of Parshas Balak.  The way that Balak became king was because he thought about was concerned about the needs of his nation.  If Hashem is our King that means that he cares about me and is concerned for me.

ה מלך - Hashem has always reigned.  He is the creator of this wonderful universe.  Thinking about what that means.  And how Hashem created this world for our benefit and that Hashem is a Maytiv, He wants to do good for me.

ה ימלוך לעולם ועד - Hashem's reign is eternal.  I started thinking about Rav Dessler's moshul about how long eternity is (Imagine a pile of sand on which every 100 years a bird comes and takes one grain of sand and flies away and when finally the last grain is taken the pile refills and the process starts over).  Its a very very very long time.  And there is only one way to get a part of that eternity, by serving Him.

Thank you Hashem for this wonderful lesson and for always being there for me.  Have a great Shabbos everyone.
If I can go through this mental exercise (or one like it) while walking down the street, my whole experience is different ((and likely my day as well). 

wow!
thanks for sharing that

Wow, that was tremendous. Be"H we will use it at least from time to time.

An aside: wasn't it balak who was king rather than bilaam? Maybe you meant balak...or maybe I have been at the Woodford again...

dov wrote on 17 Jun 2011 16:43:


You're right, I corrected it.  Thanks!  My boss always tells me, "I know you put in some typos just to make sure I'm paying attention."  I wish it were woodford (or rather a good scotch) but it's called exhaustion. 

Ur-a-Jew, You're the example of what it means to be a real Jew.

While others can be 'jewish', jew-styled, jew-oriented, YOU'RE-A-JEW!!!!

And in your own words:
ur-a-jew wrote on 17 Jun 2011 19:06: