careful where u slipped

don't go there again

never trust yourself


kot nmw

bardichev

Dear Morshax,

I have experience of being clean for a few years and then falling.

I can tell you that the y"h is telling you:

"Listen.  You waited months to do this.  Finally you get recess.  Hurry up and enjoy life before you end up doing teshuva again.  Who knows when you'll have the opportunity to enjoy yourself again?  And... aren't you happy and excited out of your mind that you can enjoy this fantastic amazing stuff now....    How about some.....
Remember this is the most fantastic amazing stuff there is!
Of course, soon you'll do teshuva again, so you don't have to worry about wrecking your 2 worlds....
Just a liiiiihhhhtttllllle bit more... AND THEN you can do teshuva."

> 8) > > "Heh, heh, heh.  Little does he know that today I'll get him to fall once.  Tomorrow twice.  In a couple of months he'll be doing four to six times a day....
I have BIG plans for him....  Heh, heh, heh."


ps
Hit bottom while you're still on top FASSSTTTT!!!!


(PMs welcome)

World,

You are SO right. The Chevra here are GYE is very good at recognizing the voice of the Yetzer Hara!

I fell again pretty recently and what I'm having a hard time doing is ridding my mind of the images I saw that led me to the fall. I know in past that my mind has been able to block out those images, no matter how vivid they were, but they're plaguing me at the moment. Even during Selichos tonight I had a hard time ridding my mind of them. I just wish they would vanish!!

morshax wrote on 31 Aug 2010 15:40:


I think you have a great key - listen to your heart! If the beats get too erratic - SLOW DOWN and STOP.
Just stopping and thinking will do wonders.
ויבהילו להביא את המן
They brought HAMAN quickly to the party - just like he QUICKLY  felt he HAD to  kill Mordechai
The Yetzer loves pushing us quickly over the cliff.
Be strong

The beating heart is a sure sign of a problem, but it's best not to even reach that point. At that point it's harder to turn back - although completely possible. The best is to avoid the slip to begin with.

What physical or emotional sign do you have for the stage before the beating heart? If you delicately "roll back" the film to the point before - How do you look? What is your body saying? Are you at a HALTing point?
Hungry
Angry
Lonely
Tired?

I know for myself that being over tired is a BAD time to get on the computer. I feel like I don't care, just a peek...

Be Alert!

Thanks Chaim. That's a great point. Tired is often the case. I can't exactly avoid the computer though since that's how I earn a living, but I should see fatigue as a red flag and take precautions. I would add unfulfilled or depressed to your list. It's important to be on alert on an unproductive day.

It's been a while since I've posted here, but I thought I'd update things. I BH have reached 81 days of sobriety with the contant help of HKBH. Thank you Hashem!

I've been on the forum semi actively under another name, but I thought it would be a good idea to at least update this thread.

Regards everyone!

We all have two names. so what? You have three.

We love both of you!



Polishing my shoes for the Grand Celebration!