Dear Installed,

Keep in mind that Emunah is necessary to fight the y"h, but it's not sufficient.

Kedusha, I was really distracted and didn't have a chance to continue listening to the shiurim. I hope to continue tomorrow.

I'm doing well. Still clean b'h.

Great - Hatzlacha!

Installed, Just one week until the next 12 step calls start.  G-d willing we'll hear you on one of the calls.

-c

Hey,

I finally listened to the emunnah series by Rabbi Dovid Saperman (thanks Kedusha). It helped me a lot and it put things into perspective. I can't say that I fully agree with everything he said but it did answer some of my questions so I'm very glad that I listened to it.

I listened in to the DC group for the past two weeks and I'm learning some important lessons there. I do get a bit antsy sometimes when things drag out a bit but that is something that I need to work on. I should just relax  ;D.

Anyway, I slipped and I'm restarting my 90 day count again grrrr....

I did a taphsic neder until next Sunday (fine + kever/tehilim) and I'm part of a GYE group so I'm hoping that I'll have a successful week.

Didn't fall/slip but I'm feeling weak  . I will make it today but I hope that I'll be strong enough to remain clean in the future. I know that I should be thinking one day at a time but I can't help but worry. I feel this nagging desire to just release my stress over p. Anyway, other than that, all is well. Life is generally good, I should be very thankful for what I have.

Hope you are all doing well.

Frustrated. Had an ongoing urge today  :o. My TAPHSIC neder ends tomorrow so I'll make a new one before it expires.

Today was very easy b'h  ;D. I had several strong urges last night but I ignored them and I woke up in a very good mood. I was very busy and didn't have much time to think about lust (I logged into GYE whenever I had a spare moment). I hope to remain clean for good.

installed wrote on 04 Jan 2011 18:55:


Is it possible that you woke up in a good mood & today was easy because you had several strong urges last night but I ignored them?

Umm... the good mood yes but the easy day not sure. It comes and goes. I just spent ~20 minutes looking at borderline pictures but I stopped there. Today was a very difficult day. I don't think that there is a patern, it's just random, it comes and goes. I didn't ask hashem for help lately so I'll do that when I daven maariv.

installed wrote on 09 Jan 2011 15:58:


The Gemara in Mesechte Sukkah does say that in these matters, "Sating it starves it & starving sates it."

Refraining from following the urges, will, at some point, make those urges less intense. YES, the struggle will become easier!

Yossef Hatzadik,

It's funny but I actually misunderstood that gemora (until now). I always understood that it was just stating a fact that when one extracts zera (starving the body of it) one feels satiated and vis versa but I never thought of it in the way that you presented it. Thanks for the clarification.

I fed the YH a bit yesterday but stopped myself before it became serious. I'm very glad that I feel bad about it. I'm starting to finally feel the way I want to feel (in this inyan).

Hope you all have a wonderful day.

Installed,

Hope your doing good today!  May you be strengthened.

Thanks Tuvia.

My Taphsic neder expired today and I watched p for maybe 3 minutes. I didn't enjoy it and felt like I'm betraying the girl that I'm shidduching and stopped. My concern is that many people here mentioned that they were able to remain clean for a long time after marriage but eventually went back to their old habbits. I'm also in touch with a guy from the site that mentioned that the longest time he remained clean was when he was in touch with a girl but now that it's over, he can't do it. What if that is the case with me. What if I'm just holding back because of the girl I'm dating. How can I be sure that I'll be able to do this later on? I'm dating a very frum girl, how can I mislead her like this? I've been dating for several years now and P&Med without thinking too much about it (I never felt that I was betraying the trust of the girls I was dating) but now with GYE, I feel terrible (I'm glad about it) but I feel like such a loser  :-\.

Fell after 16 days (clean of explicit p and m)  :-[. Don't know what to do anymore. I call the DC group, daven, try really hard, joined a group, have 1 1/2 partners, and then I get a moment of weakness, try less hard and fall. I must be missing something. SB how the heck did you stop cold turkey? I feel like I'm on the right path but I'm frustrated. I'm also not feeling very guilty (as opposed to watching p earlier). I feel as if a huge burden was lifted from me, almost as if sperm is toxic to my body and now that it's out I can continue life.