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I fell.
Serious RID. At least I can see the connection with greater clarity. (focus on the ID of RID)
Some of the tips from the conversations have been helpful - in identifying the problem more directly, and dealing with it - somewhat.
So essentially, I suppose I was tested with a huge amount of irritation, which I felt that I aught to be able to control. Obviously, it was impossible, although some headway was made in realizing that I couldn't - and needn't control it. But that nonetheless left a pretty stinky (and uncontrolled) situation.
May Hashem grant me the strength to determine what I can do to alter the situation, and not to be bothered or depressed by that which I can't. Easy to say, even easier to write. Let's see how we manage on the action front.....
stay tuned for updates.