Nice story, thanks.

Hey,

I think that strictly speaking, one is supposed to have charata over a wet dream but i doubt that it is applicable to us. Don't let it get ya down though. You see where it leads to.

Good luck! 

Yup, binNun, I hear you. It's really not our work. It's His work. But we have to let Him in. [And by the way, when I've got all my openings distracted with guarding my eyes and my bris and everything else, it's rough.]

So you may be right, let it be HIS work and not our ODAAT work. Might work better for you. Keep us posted.

Starting your day with good coffee is key... I should really start preparing it at home. I waste at least 5 minutes a day waiting in line for a cup of Java. Just curious, what does kichsa mean? KUTGW!

Hey,

Sorry to read that you are feeling down :'(. Did you ever read the 12 steps? If you didn't, it may help you understand why you are falling. The first step relates to the idea that we are not in control over our addiction. This in itself may make you feel better. It is not your fault, you are not in control. You tried stopping so many times and you failed (which proves the first step). It is obviously your obligation to find a system that can help you overcome this but don't let your fall get to you.

Cheer up!

Installed.

I know that feeling. I really wouldn't be able to do it without this amazing site and without all you guys. From the looks of things, it seems like to are back on your feet again which is great! Just focus on the future don't look back. We have yom kipur for that...

Hope you have a great day!

A new month! Isn't it a blessing that we do not live in one long day :? We always have the ability to start with a clean slate. I had similar thoughts during birkas hachodesh.  May we all grow together.

Hey,

This happens to the best of us. We gave in for so many years that It's hard to make such a drastic change. I think that you technically "slipped"(you didn't masturbate)...

I feel much weaker after a slip for several days (the urge is usually much stronger) so try to make gidarim in order to help yourself overcome it.

I'm not trying to belittle R' Akiva but in a way our nisayon is greater. R' Akiva obviously had tremendous pear pressure to keep away (he was a known rabbi and it would ruin his reputation and it would be a tremendous chillul hashem). We on the other hand are not big tzadikim and we can act out freely without raising any suspicion. I'm not patting ourselves on the back but we are also keeping the world going.

Have a great day and keep strong! 

You have still defeated the YH in more ways than you can imagine by not m* - remember the nisyonot are like waves, they get higher and higher but eventually they collapse so keep holding on and Hashem should give you siyata dishmaya that you make it through this challenge.

No AC :o????????!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not good! I feel weaker whenever I'm in an uncomfortable environment.

Forget about the guilt, let bygones be bygones. Hashem doesn't want us to dwell over the past, in fact chazal teach us that we can change our aveiros to mitzvos so there is hope. Just try to be better in the future. Whenever you have an urge and stop yourself, you are just proving how much you regret the past. You didn't disappoint any of us here. We are all humans and we all have our flaws. The fact that we are here is a huge thing. We are all trying to work on ourselves and we are moving forward. Try to look at the positive side, look at the progress and pat yourself on the back . Get yourself an ice cream and celebrate.

Amen,

Have a easy and meaningful fast!

yehoshua wrote on 29 Jul 2010 11:19:


Hmmnn. A cycle. From slipping to scared to acting out to guilty to depressed. Hmmnnn.

Do you know what happens when you break a cycle at any point in the cycle? IT STOPS BEING A CYCLE. In other words, your "scared" wouldn't lead to your "acting out" because there's only a BROKEN cycle in the middle.

HERE'S THE THOUGHT ON MY MIND... Maybe if the cycle simply needs breaking, it can be broken at any step along the way.

In other words, if work's not going well, I won't feel stupid. Or, if I do feel stupid, I won't feel helpless. Or, if I do feel helpless, I won't turn to P* and M*. And if I do turn there, I won't feel guilty. Etc.

I have no clue which links in the chain would be the easiest to address to break the cycle. But I predict that once the cycle is broken, somewhere, there could be more options for how to react when the other aspects of the cycle come to hit you in the face.

Don't know if this even rings true, or if it even makes sense, but thought I'd reply in any case so you'd know it's not just a dialtone out here. Peace, bro.

Hey,

Gym is great! Did you try the 12 steps? It's helping me  a lot...

Hey,

Sorry to hear about your fall. These next few days will be more difficult (at least it was for ma after my fall). I don't have any advice cause it took me over two weeks to get up again  :-\. Let's hope you will be able to give us advice...

Keep strong (with Hashems help)!

Hey Yehoshua,

Donno what to say but it looks like you are taking this way to hard. I know that it is a big deal but it is really getting to you and can only do harm (it will affect your mood, the way you interact with people, your recovery etc.). You mentioned that you can't join a group but have you tried a virtual SA group? I can relate to most of what you wrote but don't get how suicide would change anything! I know that you are not serious but it's probably unhealthy to even think of it.

Tomorrow is another day. Nobody is perfect, we much try our best and leave the rest to hashem.

Hope you get over this down feeling soon!