hi mouse -

thanks.
I did not realize anyone was reading this stuff!

i know have not posted for awhile!
had a slip (not a fall...decided it was not worth it to fall )

had one memorable (hmmm...for lack of a more appropriate term) experience..

noticed a young lady with a very nice conjunction.. (and I don;t mean AND or OR )
and then shortly there after decided to spend some extra time giving my wife a conjunction massage...

2 days later, I had a very bad stomach virus...which lead to a very bad case of hemmoroids...(OW! OW ! OUCH!! )

so I've been spending the last 3 days constantly being reminded that the body is only a painful. disgusting  mass of flesh and blood...


Isn;t it amazing how Hashem sends us just the right message we need to hear to help us focus our attention toward the SPIRITUAL and not the  physical??

saw this in wikipedia:

George Brett was famously removed from a game in the 1980 World Series due to hemorrhoid pain. After undergoing minor surgery, Brett returned to play in the next game, quipping "...my problems are all behind me."

so now I'm stuck...

I wish my problems were all behind me... but that is exactly where they are...

I was also thinking yesterday: Dov-in-Israel hasn't posted in a while!

Did you really think that we aren't reading what you right here?

of course we read your stuff -  you are very inspiring!!

1 q. tho - what do u mean by 'nice conjunction'??  ???

refuah shleimo for the hemerroids! i hope you feel better soon

an honest mouse wrote on 25 May 2010 13:11:

Re Q1: Stuff? You mean, he's put 'stuff' here?? Where?

an honest mouse wrote on 25 May 2010 13:11:

1 q. tho - what do u mean by 'nice conjunction'??  ???

Re Q2: Nice conjunction? You know -- he means, 'stuff.'

(Should this go on the depressed person's chill spot?)

LOL - don't they teach you guys anything in school any more?

Conjunction - as defined in Wikipedia:
In grammar, a conjunction is a part of speech that connects two words, phrases or clauses together...for example...and, or, nor and BUTT !
(sheesh! whats the use of telling a joke if you dont get it! )


and for all the rest of you voyeurs (LOL) and perverts reading my posts...you might enjoy this:



Some basics of pain and pleasure: (To help put things in perspective we start with research based on the oppostite gender )

- a woman give birth (lots of pain), creates a rush of oxytocin in teh brain which according to Wikipedia:

Oxytocin evokes feelings of contentment, reductions in anxiety, and feelings of calmness and security around a mate...a feeling of connectednesss... this creates a bond with baby.

- and THEN to deal with the pain the mind releases endorphins (PLEASURE hormones)
(in other words the CONNECTION comes first) 

but what happens in the mind of an addict:

- when we act out,  pain gives way to Comfort...releasing the endorphins...
- but there is no-body REAL to connect with ... so the oxytocins get stuck in our brains leaving us feeling depressed, isolated, guilty and withdrawn.

PAIN + PLEASURE without CONNECTION = DEPRESSION + ISOLATION + GUILT

Think about the difference if we took the time to

be connected with our spouse, or Creator first,.something REAL versus fake... whether it be alcohol, drugs, or acting out its still FAKE!.

Real JOY versus the Counterfeit kind.

And now that you know all this - isn't it amazing that AA, SA and many other groups - and of course our Torah sages have discovered the path of TRUE JOY - even before the medical community has!


gentlemen - you now know the facts...so get of your heads, stop being so selfish, self-centered...start being other oriented, and realize YOU have a part in the DIVINE plan!

turn your pain into true JOY

just a moment of some not to regular daily dose of techno babble from

Dov in Srael

(note there is no I in Israel. Why? I believe you already know the answer...just ask yourself...WHY IS I NOT IN ISRAEL? )

sorry i was using i looked it up in the oxford dictionary... :-[

thanks for the medical yediah - sublime!

I was sent on an non-threathening mission from work, no problem... I just go to Linked-In...

I had no idea the YH was so sophicated... right there in the linked -In file was an old GF ... hey how neat... let send her an email see how she is doing...

(re-ignight those old memories... !! )


EWK!!!!!!!!
what is going on...

good thing I had my running shoes on!!!

sheesh!!

whats the world coming too ... its bad enough facebook lets all kind of perverts out to play ... now the gates are open on Linked In too ...

forget K9 - I think I need a padlock on my computer!

its not safe without adult supervision!

any adults out there?

been away for awhile... OUCH!
had a hard fall - an old memory stuck up on me.. I thought these thoughts and I had long since parted..

I cannot believe I fell in this manner!
like DC says after the ninth step - if you are not constantly growing you can meet face to face with your worse night mare and find out you have become the person you were trying hardest to avoid.

ugh!

I humbly admit the error of my ways - and will try to be helpful to those in need, and useful to the others.

(ouch!  that fall really hurt - anyone have some bactine and a few band-aids?? )


actually in hind sight I am not surprised that I fell or fell in this manner eihter.. I was looking for it.. and wanted to fall. After 12-years of marriage I've finally come face to face with teh realization that I will never be able to have the deep warm loving relationship I so much crave with my wife. Intellectually I know its not about me.. its jsut the way she is.. after being molded by so many years of growing up in an emotionally verbally abusive home, she has learned to emotionally disasociate herself from those who are closest to her...and in my case this means me.

what can I expect - Hashem leads us in teh path we chose to go... I spent so many years chasing after bodily pleasures.. without any regard to having any semblence of  interet in emotional connection.. so I married  an emotional ly empty wife...a shell of a person. or perhaps my acting out - was just a training ground to be able to take care of the emotionally wounded, like my wife.

and yet she is perfectly fine (or so seems ) around other people.
does it hurt - yes. and its a lonely place to be.

ironically I always felt I could not give to her - money ..her family has ( they use it as a tool against her), spirituaity - she reads all day long.. and knows much more than me.. I see now that al lI can her is exactly what she needs - some one to listen to her... and be there for her...


I'll just have to learn how not to be so selfish...and want her to be there for me to talk to , to listen to...to share with... to laugh with...to run with ... to play with..

so that is my life's pekalah - I'll learning to live wiht it.

i dont know what else to say at this point except that i feel for you and wish that you should find the way to true shalom bayis speedily and can get up and carry on growing away from the lust...

thinking of you...

ahm 

How are you doing? just checking in since i have not been able to speak to you today! have a great Shabbos!

new book available from Rabbi Arush - for the women!

highly suggested for your wives to get a copy!

DovInIsrael wrote on 09 Jun 2010 13:33:

DOVII, AMUSH:
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO.
Never give up wanting, what you really want.
Not even with the knife at your throat.
Don't lie to yourself - it IS what you want.
And HKB'H wants you to have what you want.

I hate to sound so trivial, so I'll quote Rabbi Arush instead.
DAVEN. Talk to G-d -- a LOT.
Remember his stories about husband-finding Yiddishkeit and wife-not.
He said, don't divorce but don't give up either.
DAVEN. Work on yourSELF. Daven some more.

Thinking that the rest of your life has GOT to be a life of quiet desparation for what you want and can't have... makes me cry. I hope it makes you cry, too.

That's not to say that Tatty will say yes on the first day you call. The posuk only says he'll answer on the day you call. Could be the first day, could be the thousandth. But if we're not calling, He ain't answerin'.

Please don't stay stuck for very long in "I want it but I'll never get it" mode. That's not a Jewish value. Keep on doin' what you're doin', which is... daven & learn.

We all love you, boychik. Keep going.

After 12-years of marriage I've finally come face to face with teh realization that I will never be able to have the deep warm loving relationship I so much crave with my wife.
DOVII, AMUSH:
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO.


I beg to differ but to agree!

You may very well be right - you won't have the relationship that you thought you would have, but that doesn't mean you won't have a close, meaningful, loving relationship. Just that it will be different than what you imagined.

Let's say that a bochur assumes that his new wife, who is the daughter of a famous Talmid Chochom - will be very interested in all of her new hubby's divrei Torah - no matter how long they are!?
What happens when kids come along - the rebbitzin can no longer sit for so long, and neither can the kids.
And maybe this young women has a great balabustic skills, and runs the home and has a job along with kids, but her business head isn't so lofty spiritual - she likes halacha lemaase or musar.
Shouldn't the young husband realize this? Is this giving up on the chevrusa he (wrongly) imagined would be wating for him in the kitchen?

So too with other traits, that we dream about, whether physical or mental or spiritual. My wife is a complex world and I love exploring all the suprising twists.
We're different and that what makes it all interesting, in many ways.

So have a great life - with your wife
like a hand fitting into Glove
deepen always your love

Enjoy

thanks chaim !