day 14 - eruv shabbas.
day 15 shabbas...
got hit with wife starting an arguement on the 7th day of counting.
wow - this one really surprised me... out of the blue.
after trying REALLY hard for the past two weeks to give her more attention - she announces motzei shabbat Why am I ignoring her, and pushing her away?
what?
I really lost it... and started listing all the areas where I was giving her more time and attention...and all she coudl say si WHY AM I IGNORING her!!
upcomign mikveh night or not - this was enough to push me over the edge and pull me into an arguement.
LOL - the funny thing is in the midst I kep thinking, I've come this far in my own counting...and if we dont get together for mikveh night, its going to REALLY be an uphill struggle, not to mention trying to fend off this new case of RID.
with that thought in mind (thanks, Guard!
![](https://guardyoureyes.com/components/com_kunena/template/default/images/emoticons/new/wink.png)
) I decided we should call our life-coach into the picture and come up with a resolution! Obiously we were both NOT on the same page!
ok - bottom line .. I had recently spent an hour wiht my wiffe - just talking ... giving her my full attention ... and she liked it ssooooooooo much she wanted to know why she was not getting more of it. (but because she grew up in an environment which was overly critical, she was not able to express what she realyl needed and wanted - and it came out as criticism for what I was not doing.)
I grew up in an overly critical environment - and when I here critiicsm I am very sensitive to it, and it puts me on teh defensive...
so instead of a healthy converation "I talk , you talk"- we wound up with "I talk, You Talk...LETS FIGHT!!""
coach suggested : rather than respond right away to each other - we reflect what the other person just said, ask for clarificiation, ask question to make sure we understand if there is a problem with an activity or communication...and beware that criticsm without some acknowlegdement of what is going RIGHT, is concisidered: Loshon Hara.
was not sure I was going to make it through the night without slipping...
asked Hashem to be my accountability partner and help me make it through the night
and I did (with His Help)