Advice from Dov: Stop thinking so much

Came here to use my ATM card. But it's not in my wallet.

I musta left it when i was doing laundry in the Ragemat.

Hello anyway..... miss shmoozing.

You silly goose.... LAUNROMAT / RAGEMAT.

I never would call you a mat.

Whassa matta mit jew, anyway...?

true humility is where recovery is really at

Hi amazing Ragemat absorption guy,

(how did the b in "absorb" get turned into a p, anyway?)

When you eventually find that meeting, tell them that you know a recovering scmervert named Dov. They will give you a blank stare. Then tell them that if they are whining they'd better shut up cuz you came here for recovery, not to have to give them advice nor to hear them whine you to death.

Then they'll probably have a vote to beat you to a pulp. Make sure it needs to be unanimous....

I really worry about you, sometimes....

;D

I hear. Nu, have a nice day, Habibi.

rage -

I was in Amway for 2 years. used it as a means of coming out of my shell and being more extraverted... greate sales and marketing experience! still use some of the idea professionally today. if you thought it was about quick money - that was your first mistake. Our group was very clear it was NOT about quick money...residual money, yes...but not quick money...we were told it woudl take HARD PERSISTENT effort.

Even the Messilat Yesharim teaches that a person can only own what he is willing to work for

Re 12-steps. Did this too
Bills story - I agree. Enough. Dayanu!
but realized if I wanted the program to work for me, I had to REALLY want it. In hindsight here are some things I gained from Bill story:

- ability to LISTEN
- patience with another person (isn't it silly we had to learn this from a book, who could tolerate our itchiness, and inability to sit still...no matter how I was feeling ..Bill was able to continue wiht his story right where he left off without criticisng me for any of my comments)
- focus
-appreciation for what I DO have (this guy is really messed up)

- trust my sponsor (he felt the reading was good thing to do, I did it)
- 12 steps is like Amway. It is going to take hard work. But if I kept up with teh program I would se results.


One last thought on Amway and the 12-step program:

Amway: for 2 years I did everything my sponsor told me to do, attended every meeting, met people, contacted people..for two years, nearly nothing happened..seemingly so...but there was a change going on inside of me... I was growing more confident, I was developing self esteem, and otehrs began to see it too. My business started to grow - in a short period of time..I had a nice extra part time income...and then had a choice - Israael and learn...or keep a growing a mushrooming business.

I picked Israel. dropped the business

re:12 step - it does not take 2 years to see results. Otehrs will also see the change within you.

This is  anew design for living....much better than a residual income if you ask me.


The program works if you work the program!

yea, i hear ya!

I've been thinking bout going to a meeting here... but must be one of the chicken mebers, too.

besides my ex-wifer was an overeater anon - and the whole thing was too cultish for me too -
i felt trapped in the co-anon groups too.. and got sick of buying books (like a robot)

"I am a co-dependent...yes, sir... i will buy your book and read it and feel better, just like you said... until the next book of yours comes out...then i will again feel miserable... until i buy your book...
yes, sir... "

Rage, I hear you...bock-bock-bockkkk. I figure you've really got nothing to lose but having a bunch of perverts think you aren't a pervert, just a wierdo....though which is worse I'm really not sure....now where was that speck pf corn i was trying to pick up with my mouth again!?

hey rage - lets start our own SA group.

we'll make our own rules too

no culty stuff - unless you have some book ideas we can make a lot of money on.

Gevaldigggg!!!

Rage your honesty!!

It will pay off!!

B

Wait, Rage, I don't come by to visit much, but even an occasional visitor can share a few words every now and then.

Let's see if I've got this straight. You've been living as a jerk in your love and your lust for many years. Yet you've got a good woman who'll think of the beer that you'll want, that she hates, and that she hates your wanting. She'll even go back out again (this is NY traffic, right?) to get it, so that you can have your beloved Mets+Bud night (I assume while she sits by herself, maybe even crying into her beer -- most women prefer the Yankees, right?).

So then the lust disorder has its way with you again. Which means it's had its way with her, too. (When you dance with the Y'H, you both lose; we all know that.)

AND YOU SEE THIS, AND YOU'RE SADDENED BECAUSE YOU LET HER DOWN AFTER SHE WAS SO GOOD (and for so long, too, I'm sure). AND AFTER THE KIDS WERE SO GOOD (sleeping soundly). AND AFTER EVERYTHING SEEMED SO GOOD (except for that missing gene that might have given you the ability to stay off the shmutz).

And viewing this whole scene left you feeling, what? Boohooing in your beer? Smugly proud at pulling another one over on her? Overwhelmed? NO!!! ... MOTIVATED ENOUGH TO TAKE A STEP YOU'VE BEEN PETRIFIED TO TAKE. TO MOVE  BEYOND THE COMFORT ZONE AND LOOK FOR ANYWHERE THAT MIGHT HELP REPLACE THAT MISSING GENE CALLED SELF-CONTROL. EVEN THE MEETINGS THAT HAVE SCARED YOU SO.

You know, Rage, I'm sorry but I ain't seein' any pitiful loser in this story. I'm seeing bravery, resilience, grit, etc. In you, yes, but also in your wife because she's gonna give you some space to get better and even buy you the occasional beer. Do you know how many men have the building blocks that you've got in taking this next step?  Damned near zero would be my bet.

Take a look at your own gevurah and work the h[eck] out of those Steps. I'm impressed, you lucky guy. And buy your wife a present.

Rage, you're our hero. There's something special about you. You're a natural leader. You go out there and beat this thing, and one day I promise you'll be leading a lot of good Jews to the light!

Rage ATM wrote on 14 Apr 2010 17:30:


It takes a lot less for a frum jew to feel he "hit bottom" with the double-life he's leading, than it does for the rest of the people out there. For others to hit bottom and join an SA group, they have to really feel their live's are completely falling apart as a result of the addiction, losing jobs, marriage, kids, sanity, etc.... For a frum Jew with some honesty in his heart, it's enough that he can't daven and learn without feeling like a shm-ck.

Nice to read all the wacked-out  () feedback, and thanks for the hilarious and painful honesty. Hilarious and painful...Boy is this life stranger than fiction. Ever feel like you are acting out a script you didn't write and waiting to watch the movie when it's all over? Did you ever hope it wins a golden luchos award or whatever they call it up there, when it's all done? Maybe we'll share a beer and I'll just shut up and watch the Mets game w/ya. I'm in Queens right now. Love you, rageman...
Keep coming back it works if you work-it bla-dee-blah-blahh.... 

Can I join for a beer

But if I get my hands on the remote
We will watch the most expensive team in sports the yankees