OK, here i am again learning things from cartoons:

Elmer Fudd once fell off a cliff. We saw him disappear downwards out of the picture frame while the camera shot stayed focussed on the edge of the cliff. We heard that long whistle, getting ever louder, for like 5 seconds, until we heard the loud CRASH. Then the camera panned down from the top along the wall of the cliff to get to where he fell to. And we see a surprising visually humor, in that the he only fell like two feet - the ground was just below the cliff, even tho the sound effects were as if he fell 200 feet. And he laid there, looking annoyed at the script while he drummed his fingers on the ground....

Nimshal for Numbskulls like me? I used to think that the FALL is a BIG LOUD CRASH heard 'round the world. I carried on & got depressed & made a big deal of it. I've even wanted the sympathy, so I've made my own big whistle sounds so people could come running to the rescue.

But it's only bells & whistles, smoke and mirrors, man. I only fell a short distance. I can get up, dust myself off, and with only one small step i can get back to the level ground I was on, and walk away from the cliff edge. I don't need to climb up all over again, I don't need a running leap. Just gotta BEND MY KNEES a little more than i'm used to to make that 2-foot step. (BENT KNEES EQUALS BERACHOS, HODAAH and being MACHNIYA to the Ribonno Shel Olam - GET IT?)

So it's NOT starting all over from scratch. Its about CONTINUING from where i left off. The other way is a Blandishment of the YH to get you to give up.

Sounds like you're already using this as a catalyst for growth - by seeing what you learned from it, and figuring out what you can do to prevent it from happening again.

As far as re-assessing things...don't go too far with it. In other words, examine it, make sure that you're as focused as you want to be...but remember that you're starting off. The longer you work on this, the longer you're clean for, the more you'll have a chance to grow.

Be proud of the steps you've made, look forward to the growth you're going to make, and think about how great it will feel as you get clean!

And remember - keep on rocking! (and trucking)

You can do it ZA! don't be depressed! feel free to PM anytime you would like!

My new avatar is a sunrise. It represents how each day is a new beginning. Yesterdays slips or falls are in the past. I can't change them. But I could change the future. The opportunities for positive change are endless.

I just logged out but when i saw you reply i wanted to say something...beautiful...great idea it is certainly more creative than a squirrel wearing a superman symbol  :-[! like i said before feel free to PM me when ever you would like i don't care about what!

Zalman - are you sure this is a sunrise ? looks more like a sunset... i guess it all depends on how one looks at the situation...and where one is... a sunset for one - is a set rise for another.

Chazak - squirrels with superman logos are great. Think about it like this:

IF YOU HAVE AN ADDICTION AND ARE NOT ON GYE - YOU'RE NUTS!
(it takes the strength of Superman to be man enough to face up to an addiction )

DovInIsrael wrote on 14 Apr 2010 09:44:


i am going to use this quote ok?

How are things ZD?

chazak - glad you are part of the posting family!

ZD - you are Terrific!

Steve (re:cartoons) - there is another bugs cartoon which fits me...
or maybe it was road runner... thankfully we begin to forget somethings...

its the black "hole" - he throws it and the other charater falls into the hole..

I coudl nto figure out why I kept falling!
until I looked at my script - and noticed I was the one throwing the "hole" right in the middle of my path!

(I also worked in an orange juice factory when I first came to  Israel... I was not used (or build for ) manual labor...coming from my office background in the states. The conditions were TERRIBLE!!!teh work was very hard, teh room was dark, LOUD and stank!!! in short I HATED it (ok , I loved being in the rolling hills of Israel, and workign the land, and the break from computers was fun) ... but never the less, I was a cranky old man...

and the worse part was the sorting machine woudl move too fast and I could not keep up sorting the oranges.


until a co-worker pointed out that I was in control of the pedal on the floor which woudl slow down, or speed up the machine as needed.


but the more I thought about my  situation and the more frustrated I became the harder I pressed on the pedal. !!!

DovInIsrael wrote on 14 Apr 2010 13:26:


what do you mean?

Thanks for all of the positive encouragement everyone. This addiction really gets me down though. I can't stand the idea that I really and truly have an addiction. There is an aspect of me that truly has no control. It's like i am part animal. I used to think that I am higher than the animal kingdom, that I have the freedom to choose to do or not to do something. That freedom has now been stripped from me. I also feel that it was not my fault that I got into this addiction. All of the past terrible experiences of my life all worked up against me to create this terrible disease. I hate it. It's destroying my life. I have no rest from this. I am tired from it. I am weak. I have no koiches left for this. What else can g-d throw in my face. What more does he want from me. Why is he doing this to me. Why me? I want to go on with my life already. Get married. Settle down. Be happy.

And than comes along g-d and says HA HA HA. Not so fast my friend. First you must reckon with me. First you must die inside.First you must live through hell. If you come out alive than maybe if I'm nice enough I will let you be happy. Until than you must suffer. By the way don't forget to devote your life to me. Every living moment you must remember to serve me. Every aspect of your life is dictated and controlled by the rules of my Torah. So while your suffering don't forget the rulebook. Have a crappy day!
Love, G-d :'(

come on man don't think like that! Hashem loves you with all his heart! We don't know why Hashem puts certain challenges in front of us but there must be a reason! You will have your perseverance! A few days ago we commemorated Yom Hashoah, why did Hashem do that how much suffering did there have to be, what possible reason could there be for 6,000,000 jews to die such a painful death? People like Anne Frank, 15 year old the same age as i am! Someone like Anne Frank with so much life and optimism who always felt that there was good in people no matter what! But she perished in the Holocaust she never did anything to harm anyone! And that is just one story there are 5,999,999 (pardon my math) other stories like that. So even though Hashem makes people suffer and we cannot always see the reason we must believe there is a one whether or not we know it! WHEN YOU CONQUER YOUR ADDICTION you will realize in time why Hashem put you through this. It could be that maybe you will enjoy your marriage with the special woman who you deserve will seem that much more and how much more real your relationship will be because you will realize how fake the shmutz you are viewing now is! There will be many things revealed to you in hind sight you may not get all the answers you are looking for now but in the end it may not even matter because you will be living a much happier life facing brand new brand new challenges! I hope this helps!

Besides, Hashem doesn't say the word, "crappy", I think. He probably uses the word "yucky", or says it in yiddish. Yeah, that's it! He says it in yiddish: "chevvv ah richhtiger ohhngeflopterr tug."

That's definitely it....I think.

Ask bards to be sure I got the yiddish right, OK?

;D

On a deeper level, if you're feeling worn out, then you're right - you're going to feel bad, and it's going to be hard not to fall. The idea is NOT to struggle against your addiction. If you do, you'll lose. Instead, you need to avoid dealing with it. Avoid situations that you'd need to be powerful to beat. And once you learn to do that, life becomes peaceful, and much easier - even easier than it would be without any addiction!

chazak -  happy to have you here.

you add something to the forum. (and not just a super squirrel for the rest of us nuts - either)