The Guardyoureyes Forum is my drug of choice.  ;D

I was walking down the street. A group of a couple very attractive women were walking towards me and right in my line of sight.  I got nervous. How would I overcome this. I don't want to lust, but after so many years I have programmed myself to look and to lust. I can't just ignore them, they are right there. Surely it is my Yetzer trying to make me nervous that it is a big deal. What is this thing about uttering a silent Tefilllah for them? How does it work?

Just do it, that's how it works. If people selling shoes can make millions saying that about sneakers, why can't we, about Recovery? OK, ok...I tried to share some explanation with this nice guy named "Chazak" in the thread called Re: Questions, Comments About the Daily GYE Emails. Sorry I don't know how to link you there. Hatzlocha! And really...just try it, we have nothing to lose but our self-absorbed pursuit of self-pleasuring. Lusting and fantasy are the ultimate workout for those "muscles of immaturity". They are the "foreplay" for masturbation, which the SA literature calls: sex with self, cuz that's exactly what it is. 

Happy Shavuos, from my family to you and yours!

Thanks Dov, I found it. I am going to start implementing it.

So today I have been implementing this thing where when an attractive female walks by I pray for their well-being. It seems to be helpful. As the summer comes along I am sure I will have many opportunities to put it to good use.
- When someone goes into recovery and has stopped using for a long time he is considered to be in a state of sobriety. Aside for this common meaning of sober, the adjective meaning is: "marked by earnestly thoughtful character and demeanor and marked by temperance, moderation or seriousness."
An example of this being used in context is when someone who just went through a life-changing experience exclaims: "That was a sobering experience".
I think the acceptance of the reality that this addiction will be with me forever is a pretty sobering thought. It will never go away. It has become who I am. Maybe we can say when someone is sober from this addiction, he has also become sober because he has accepted this addiction. He has come to terms with it. He has come to terms with Hashem's will and wisdom. When acceptance is truly internalized, one can benefit greatly from the tools available in helping one remain sober. I pray and hope to Hashem every day that I shouldn't be like the fools who convince themselves that they aren't true addicts. This thinking is the beginning of disaster.
This Shavuos may we all humble ourselves to resieving the Torah unconditionally. May we do it with a sense of Joy and internalize it to the fullest.
Wishing you all a Good Yom Tov!!

zalmandovid wrote on 18 May 2010 17:43:


Ummm I wouldnt say to GO OUT and put yourself in that situation so you can test it out. Just kidding, I know you wouldnt do that. Sounds like a good plan though. Keep it up ZD!

-Yiddle

Hello People's
Lately I have been feeling the heat a little bit. I have been having a lot of RID today as I go about trying to find a job. I will IY"H find something soon. I'm trying to make a Keili, but it ain't so easy.
Have a good Shabbos,
Zalmandovid

We are davening 4U, ZD! You should be zocheh to a lot of keilim!

Hey Dov,
Thanks for the prayers. I have realized that when I forget about Hashem and get stuck in my head it is the beginning of my sickness. Retaining a constant recognition of Hashem's constant caring for us and love for us is not so easy. When things get tough it can be so easy to forget that when the lust comes around all we have to do is call out to our father in heaven. The pull of lust is so strong. I pray to Hashem each day to release me from it's vicious hold on my heart and mind.

ZD,

I can relate to the "forgetting about Hashem etc". I am so used to running things myself (or at least thinking that I do) so my first nature is to take the reins myself. Recently, after my fifth step call with Duvid Chaim, I began relearning Chovas Halevavos Shaar Ha'Bitachon, and it is amazing. It puts down clear as a bell how to live with Hashem every moment and how much he loves us absolutely.

Obviously, it will still be a while till this gets into my kishkes, but it is a great source of strength and comfort to me. And when I'm in a comfort zone, lust has no entry. Take care, my friend..

Hey Yechiel Thanks for the tip. I actually have that book in English. i am definitely going to utilize it. Thanks so much!
Wishing you a blessed week,
Zalmandovid

The more you are attached to Him, the less you will be attached to Lust. The problem really is that the Torah we learn, the yiddishkeit we live, and everything else we have, simply does not teach some of us wackos how to do that! It just teaches us that we are obligated do that! Many of us need to take a step back to Derech Eretz: simple emunah, simple self-honesty, and simple ego-busting. That's what the steps give me so far. There are probably many ways to get that, and there may be other solutions besides what I suggest altogether. Stick with the winners is all I can say. So far, things are looking pretty good to me.

Hello everyone,
I fell last night. After thirty days I took the plunge. I really think I am making very good progress all in all. I am not the same guy I was thirty days ago. So much of me has changed. The way I veiw life and my challenges are completely different. These days I know that Hashem is with me and he can help me out of my struggles. I am so much happier, content and full of self worth. Life Isn't black and white. I also recognize that these behaviors don't dissipate overnight. After years and years of blazing neuro pathways in my brain I can't possibly hope to change that all so quickly. This is a process. A process of change and renewal. Quick fix bandage solutions are only short term. We are going for REAL CHANGE (no I didn't vote Obama  :D).
So I remember last time I fell after a long streak I was completely broken and depressed for three days. That isn't happening this time. I have a much more real understanding of the addiction and the tools with which to free myself from it (thanks to Duvid Chaim and the twelve step program). I think this is a journey, and a process towards freedom. Real Change doesn't come easy. I must say I do feel like there is an empty hole inside of me. A black hole yearning for fulfillment. After the fall it is deeper and emptier than ever. There is no reason for being hard on myself. Whats the point of that?That's only the YH trying to get me to feel bad for myself and than get me depressed.STUPID. Steer clear of that guy. I think I'm going to Daven. If you have any Chizzuk and/or advice I would love to hear from you. What can I be doing more? Thanks so much..
With Love,
Zalmandovid

seems like you've picked yourself up alright which is the best thing you could do after a fall. and in terms of everything else, you've realized that this is a process and that you're slowly (or maybe quickly) but surely becoming a new man. now you just gotta keep at it and things will move forward!

ONCE AN OLD BARTENDER SAID

FELL SCHMELL


KEEP ON TRUCKING!!!!!

bards

Thanks guys!!
Bards I absolutely love your attitude. Keep on trucking is the best way to go. you just implanted a great seed of energy inside me.