bs"d

that's wonderful! i am really happy or you!

gma316 wrote on 26 Aug 2009 01:14:


My dear, just read your post and thought this might help. as we all know there is 6 constant mizvoth we all need to keep. 1. love hashem, 2. fear hashem. 3. hashem is one. 4. no other g-ds. 5. don't follow your heart and eyes. 6. know there is a g-d. -- if you believe hashem is one and he is the one who punishes and rewards why do we need another mitzvah to not to follow our hearts and eyes? ans: there is another concept that we have been introduced to, that is, one might know that hashem is the source and that he will punish and reward, but yet that still doesn't take away the desires one has. these are two different challenges in life. check out the cd r. berkovitz from aish.com on don't follow your eyes and heart.

Tomim2B wrote on 26 Aug 2009 18:05:

I just read this line today. Wow. Thank you for this gift.
- Dov

maamin4ever wrote on 13 Sep 2009 05:25:


I'm not arguing, Ma'amin4ever, but need to point out that it may be that addicts require a few steps or stages that you seem to be ignoring, before reaching the point you are referring to. That may explain how a person who is as "much" a ma'amin as a non-addict may be, can still be doing outrageous stuff. Just a thought. I have posted enough about this lately, that my fingers are numbing up... 

Hi everyone I am back and I do not know whAT to say except that I am confused and very scared i have had long stretches of greatness with unbelievable smiras eyenayim but then I come crashing down in flames and I want to recover I want to move on and get clean forever and find my true strenght and kesher with the ribonoh shel olam. I keep remembeing something a rebbbe once told me that the spirtual high that I feel when I make that first step after either allowing my eyes to wander or actualy masterbating ( i mean the high of realizing I made a horid mistake and trying to move closer to hashem and build on that to help break my addiction) is not real ad will not be real until I solve my problem.  I want the help I am a diffrent person now then what I was when I last posted 3 months ago or so I hope i am I am not even sure any more.I now that what I do is wrong and I feel sick thinking about it or even that that is me as I almost feel like 2 differnt people but I am not and I neeed help myself before I get worse thank you. 
crying for help,
GMA316 :'(

You solve your problem by totally giving up and asking Hashem to help you.  But until you are a "clean vessel" to accept Hashem's help, HE will not.
Falling is part of the process.  It happens to teach us a lesson.  What lesson did this teach you.  First of all, when you've had months of sobriety
you know how good it feels and you are never on the same level when you fall.  You're on a higher level because you've experienced the
goodness of sobriety.

You feel like two people because you are.  One is your pure Neshama (the real you, the inner child, G-d's child) and the other is your addiction (the Yetzer Horah).
The reason it says you should worship Hashem Bchol Levavcha in the plural is that we have to worship Hashem with both our Y Tov and our Y Horah.  So even
in the depths of despair, once you make the commitment to stop and get better, Hashem will help you.

But you cannot do any of this alone.  You have to stop isolating and be in touch with people, LIVE PEOPLE who can help you, guide you and have been there
before.  Get a sponsor or partner, get to a meeting or a phone meeting and begin exploring what it is that you're trying to fill up in yourself by acting out
with wandering eyes and masturbation.


You're in the right place.  Stick with it.  never give up..........................  Elya

Welcome back, Reb Gma316...

First of all, feel good about the fact that you were clean for so long - the yetzer hora wants you to forget that, he wants you to feel bad. Remember - before the aveirah, we focus on how deadly it is. Afterward, we focus on moving forward, we say fell, shmell. It's not an AA line, I'm quoting pretty much directly from chassidish sforim.

From a certain standpoint, there are two aspects of you - but you have to realize that it is one you, just living in a very confused state. and you're here for the same reason we all are - we're trying to get our heads clean.

What did you rebbe mean "until you solve your problem?"

I am trying to figure out how to become one and be clkovesh es yitzro. How to the phone groups work and how do I get involved. Thank you I need the support.

Never did the phone group thing - it's a good idea, though...

Figuring out how to become one? You mean, one person, in line with your own values?

Kovesh es yitzro...that's a hard one. Takes practice, time, and learning about yourself - and growing, in all areas of life.

Stick with us, post, read, comment...be a part of this holy group - they've helped me reach heights I would never have thought possible.

Yo, GMA613 - Did ya get my PM?

Duvid Chaim's phone group should be starting again soon...

Also Zeva's group is starting next week.