Momo, I agree with Rage.....

Did you hear that? Something BIG just fell....

Where wuz I? Yeah. You didn't lose those clean days, they are yours forever. Let's do an experiment, shall we? Can u go back thru your own thread, and add up ALL THE DAYS that you were clean? Don't look at if they were consecutive. This 90-day thingy is helpful as long as the quest doesn't drag you down. HOW MANY DAYS HAVE YOU BEEN CLEAN SINCE STARTING AT GYE, IN TOTAL?

Now GO BACK AGAIN and count HOW MANY DAYS DID YOU FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF, IN TOTAL. Not streaks (tho there are some crazy people who feel good when they streak, that really wasn't for me, I got chilled easily.... OH! Whoops!! OFF TRACK...), but even individual good days. Only look at the POSITIVE, don't read ANY of your negative posts.

NOW GO BACK AGAIN and see how many times you ROARED and made us all feel so good and SPECIAL that we were crawlin' out of our skins with glee (did I actually use "glee" in a sentence? Wow, I'm OLD...).

Now, if I'm not mistaken these will be Pretty intensive LARGE numbers. And they are ALL YOURS. NO ONE can take those away.

There are 2 other things that are ABSOLUTELY CONSTANT and eternal. Your nehsamah, and HKB"H. You will always have Him, and He will always have YOU. And as tough as life gets, HE AIN'T LETTING GO.

I've had 3 emotionally rough days.

Enough!

Time to focus.

I have had it with counting, but since you guys love it so much, here are my "stats":
- 43 days clean according to Guard's rules
- 2 days clean according to my rules
- My longest streak (according to my rules) is 40 days, smashing my previous streak of 24 days!

---------------------------
Now, this morning I thought of something Habib wrote me a while back. (Habib, you reading this?)
She wisely wrote that every day I should write 5 things I'm grateful for, and one joke.
I can't provide with the joke, but here's my grateful list:

1. My family
2. My friends
3. My health
4. My job (that I'm tired of, but lets me provide respectfully for my family)
5. HaShem for providing for me a place to live, clothes to wear, and the first 4 items in my list.

Have a good day, everyone.

----------------------
Special kudos goes to Rage for passing his difficult test this week. Hurray Rage! You are the GYE hero of the week!

OK, so I just fell according to everyone's rules.

So, Silentbattle, Kedusha, Trying, Habaletaher, and arc321 owes GYE 10 dollars.

ImTrying25 and Habib owes GYE 5 dollars.

Oh, and Uri owes 100 dollars.

That's it.

Thank you for your support along the way. It's been good traveling with you for the past 40 something days.

Sorry Guard for not being able to go the 90 days and give you the 600 dollars.

We are so proud of you for admitting it.When we have accountability partners, its often difficult to admit that we fell but you Momo did it right! Stick with it!

-Yiddle

Momo, my garden needs some fixing and I was relying on the $600. If you could come over please and do it for me, I'd forgive the fall.


;D ;D

The big question for today is,
will you let this drag you back into the cycle of addiction/depression/escape/pain/control etc?
...or was this just a stumble/brush-myself-off and continue?

Remember. Keep LIVING, not DYING.

Choose Life.

We love you Momo. Keep rocking the place!

Momo wrote on 20 Jan 2010 12:57:


ENDED!!!

You just took a rest-stop!

(Please see my response in the "super incentive" thread).

I hope you're doing okay.


(And I still hope to see you again soon!) 

I was not awake when you made your call for help... I did send you a PM on gchat but no answer  :'( :'( :'( .

Momo wrote on 20 Jan 2010 14:44:


So dont join the 90 day chart. It is not for everyone. We are just supposed to use it a measuring tool for our recovery, but its not the dertirminant of our recovery. Make your own rules, but I would suggest checking thise rules with someone. This is not about being successfull to Guard its about being successfull for yourself. Do what is best fo you.

-Yiddle

Momo wrote on 20 Jan 2010 14:38:


I agree this is a problem, but it can easily be solved with a GYE chatroom. Eith a chatroom you would have seen who is online and been able to chat with them.

Momo wrote on 20 Jan 2010 14:55:


I wouldnt say its quite like that. I think this is a little more realistic...

Thats just my opinion. :-\

Yiddle2 wrote on 20 Jan 2010 14:49:


Guard, please dont kick me off the forum for that comment.... ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Momo wrote on 20 Jan 2010 14:44:


Next time, take the "uar" out of my name and replace it with a "-". Like this:

Wanna know why I didn't fall? I was overcome with lust, but I held myself back. Why? Because I check-in with Guard G-d every day and decide which sites He would want me to surf and not surf. I don't want to decide for myself what I watch. I want to live or die each day for Guard G-d, not for me.

guardureyes wrote on 20 Jan 2010 15:11:

hiya

Momo wrote on 20 Jan 2010 14:51:


See reply #668 on Rage's thread here.

Momo wrote on 20 Jan 2010 14:51:


And what might that be?

P.S. BTW Momo, you mentioned IT25 is gone. Any idea why?