Momo wrote on 03 Jan 2010 09:55:
No place to escape to when I'm feeling irritated. I'm forced to face the irritations of life and deal with them.
Shver.
As Habib said this is Good! Huh? Yes Good. You had mentioned to me the other day that you do not know what the NEXT step is. You only wished you had the user manual. But Momo, the next step is beginning to stare you in the face (perhaps, I could be wrong). The First stage is learning some basic self control, which you have proven to yourself quite well. But, the next stage for me was learning how to deal with life and all its frustrations. The Old me would look at irritation as something that needs to be medicated. Or I would look at it as something that needs to just pass. But in fact, I had to address it and learn to understand myself and grow to great heights.
You can begin to address the current local problem and begin to learn tools on how to properly address, cope and react to difficulties in life. We cannot always run away from problems. We need to face them and solve them as much as we could. And problems that we cannot solve, we learn to have the proper attitude on that issue and on life in general to be equipped. I know I am being vague, but I am trying to lay down the foundations as much as possible without getting too involved. I have much to say, but I will give a brief example from my life in recent days. I have to get back soon.
In my life currently, two major issues have been going on side by side that have caused me much stress. And B"H, I have learned to deal with them and gain proper attitude. I have grown so much from each nisayon. One of them had to do with my wife, which B"H we have a wonderful relationship. But recently, something was causing both of us much irritation. And in the past, we both would have ignored and allowed for the frustration, anger and resentment to build up. But we each independently, chose a new route for ourselves. We decided to face the issue together. By taking this mature approach, we were able to grow so much from this small nisayon. What started out as issitation and anger ended up in love, understanding and caring. Just this morning we sat down and had a long talk about this issue. It all began because my wife went out to buy me prsent just to show me how much she cares for me and loves me. I started to cry. It was so beautiful.
Momo wrote on 03 Jan 2010 09:55:
Maybe it's the realization that this limited way of living I've been doing for the past 26 days will have to continue FOREVER if I don't want to act out again. What I look at is very limited. What I surf is very limited.
A wise man once said:
"Restricting yourself frees yourself to be the real you, while acting out-of-control allows the addiction to control you." In connection with that our Rabbis tell us that by keeping shabbos we are rewarded "boundless" property. How interesting. By keeping shabbos, which we associate with the restrictions is in fact rewarded with total freedom and endless growth.
BY learning to restrict yourself, you are actually freeing yourself to a growth that will see no bounds.
You ROCK!
