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Starting my journey to 90 days
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

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Re: Starting my journey to 90 days 09 Feb 2010 21:33 #52292

  • aryehtahor
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I think it would be cool to dress up as The Internet. You could stick print outs of popular home-pages of websites and the logos of the trendy web 2.0 sites onto yourself and HTML and you would become a sort of walking mishmash of websites. On regular days we run as far away as possible from the wide-open internet, so on Purim, make it all a part of you!
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Re: Starting my journey to 90 days 09 Feb 2010 22:22 #52300

  • imtrying25
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How about dressing up as ah ah ah ah ninja?!? :D :D :D :D :D

And AT happy to hear doing good!!

Keep it up bro!
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Re: Starting my journey to 90 days 10 Feb 2010 16:08 #52471

  • silentbattle
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Dressing up as the internet? Interesting...

how's your day going?
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Re: Starting my journey to 90 days 12 Feb 2010 15:23 #52915

  • aryehtahor
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Haven't updated in a while, so here I am. Things really aren't that exciting right now in the drama of me vs. addiction. Basically, just chugging along and entering my 3rd week clean. I'm trying not to let my guard down at all, and there have been times I've wanted to act out, but a combination of knowing it's bad all the time and the practtical hurdles to getting to filthy stuff prevent me from doing it. The worst that's happened has been a brief failed attempt.

So yeah, in short, B''H.
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Re: Starting my journey to 90 days 12 Feb 2010 19:35 #52949

  • silentbattle
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Great to hear! Remember that really, every second that we stay clean is exciting, even though it's not always easy to remember that!

You know what works best for you - make sure there are as many "practical hurdles" as possible, and keep on trucking! Post about when you're having a hard time...and know that we're all here for you!
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Re: Starting my journey to 90 days 19 Feb 2010 03:07 #54287

  • aryehtahor
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OK, so my mind has gone "flabby" lately. Today I missed Kriat Shma because I slept in, and then I nodded off in class but not really because I was tired...I feel sluggish and the Y''H is getting stronger, he is crouching at the gate. At night, I had perverse dreams and I know it's because I've been looking at girls during the day. I've felt a much stronger urge to act out, in porn and other addictions I've had (smoking cigarettes, eating junk-food). Have found excuses not to do a lot of things, but not much initiative TO DO anything instead.

Kind of a scary time right now. I don't want to do anything I regret.
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Re: Starting my journey to 90 days 19 Feb 2010 03:09 #54288

  • sci1977
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KUTGW!!!
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Re: Starting my journey to 90 days 19 Feb 2010 03:14 #54290

  • silentbattle
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So now's the time to turn up the volume with things that you'll be happy about! Live life!

And always, always keep on trucking!
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Re: Starting my journey to 90 days 19 Feb 2010 03:23 #54293

  • aryehtahor
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My Rebbe told me, when we were discussing a perek of Alei Shur (R Wolbe) that when babies are born, they come out a little and then they go back in and then come out more and back in etc. This seems like an unnecessary torture to the mother but in fact this is vital for the baby's life. So too, all growth must proceed in this pattern of moving forward, back a little, then forward again. I just think about that when things get tougher.

And also, I was thinking about what people like to say around here : "Keep on Trucking". It's a strange phrase. Why trucking? Because trucks go long distance and they have great momentum. A trucker will drive for days and neither he nor the truck cares if it's good weather or rain or sleet or hills and valleys or nice scenery or urban or rural or cold or hot or...He just has a job to get from point A to point B. So maybe that's us. We need to be focused on that point B and not care what the weather is (because nobody can control the weather). Im not sure if I've gotten to the bottom of this metaphor, because it feels like there's something else that I can't quite put my finger on...
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Re: Starting my journey to 90 days 19 Feb 2010 11:30 #54334

  • imtrying25
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I dont know about your finger but it sure makes sense to me! :D :D :D :D :D

try taking things slow. One day at a time. Try to put the numbers into the back of your head for now. Tell yourself im gonna do this just today. Ill think about tomorrow , tomorrow. But just for today im gonna give it all ive got. Try it , it may work.

Wishin you all the best, and a Great Shabbos!
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Re: Starting my journey to 90 days 19 Feb 2010 15:59 #54363

  • silentbattle
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I like!

Have a great shabbos, and KOT!!
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Re: Starting my journey to 90 days 22 Feb 2010 21:56 #54842

  • aryehtahor
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Today is day 34, equal to the longest streak I've had before this one. So that's pretty exciting.

However, the Y''H is still wreaking havoc with me. I find reasons to put things off and I end up taking very long naps. I've played with the idea of acting out a few times, and definitely been tempted even though I ultimately decided against it.

The real issue is when everythign feels hefger, meaning, nothing it particularly important so I may as well get in bed and doze off.

I'm at a critical point right now. I can either activate my body and mind or continue in indulgent slumber. I will try to do the former.

So I'm going to bike to minyan, then go straight to the gym, then do productive work for a few hours and see how things look after that.
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Re: Starting my journey to 90 days 22 Feb 2010 23:25 #54875

  • silentbattle
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Sounds fantastic - and remember, having some urges may be normal, the question is how you look at it, and what you do about it!

Keep on rocking!
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Re: Starting my journey to 90 days 22 Feb 2010 23:37 #54878

  • aryehtahor
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Thanks SB, I always appreciate your commenting on my thread
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Re: Starting my journey to 90 days 22 Feb 2010 23:41 #54880

  • silentbattle
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not nearly as much as i appreciate reading! You inspire me!
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