What do you make out of stories of people that accepted upon themselves shmiras einayim and they had hatzlacha in parnassah? Stories like this vayimaen video?

www.torahanytime.com/lectures/388200

Anyone have sources for this? I have seen somewhere that יוסף was the משביר for food (פרנסה) because he excelled in קדושה. Anyone know where this comes from? Other sources? In general, what's your take on this?

I would say that you can’t go in that mindset and if for some reason it does not happen it would let you down again unfortunately Hashem doesn’t always pay back the way you would like in some cases that could make you fall even further. You have to go in with the mindset that you’re making it tremendous נחת רוח to Hashem and be מתפלל that Hashem should repay in whatever area you need help…

trueme wrote on 17 Aug 2025 16:25:

I have always had this feeling that just general Hatzlacha, incl. Parnassah, very much depends on Shmiras Hakdusha.
To have Hatzlacha in anything, one needs סייעתא דשמיא. A person who follows his יצרא דעריות can't possibly have real ס''ד, as the Pasuk says וראה בך ערות דבר ושב מאחריך. (Maybe fake/external Hatzlachah yes, but not the type of Hatzlachah that is really good for him)

A few מקורות that come to mind, not davka Shmiras Einayim but the effects of Kedusha in general...
1 - See ספר זאת בריתי חלק א' פרק ד' אות א-ב what he writes from the Rokeach and the Chafetz Chaim. Also see חלק ב' פרק א' אות ג-ה.
2 - Re Yosef Hatzadik, see there the entire פרק ט''ו. (He was Zocheh to Malchus because of his Kedusha).
3 - See פירוש טובי חיים על ספר תנא דבי אליהו, אליהו רבא פרק י''ח אות ל''ח where he writes about the direct connection of Kedusha to Parnassah.

Thought provoking.
What do you think of this?
Seems along similar lines as the last Vayimaen video...
www.torahanytime.com/lectures/388385

trueme wrote on 18 Aug 2025 17:30:

It's similiar but a different Nekuda. Not so much the effect of Shmiras Einayim on your Hatzlacha in life but rather saying that you don't lose out. You will merit that same enjoyment in a kosher way.
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It's time for a hack about Vayimaen videos:
They talk about Shmiras Einayim, not to let your eyes get caught up by חיצוניות, and then they go and produce glamorous videos to catch your eye and keep you focused?!
I'm probably wrong, but something feels a little off....Not sure what the answer is. Maybe something like משכיהו לבית המדרש, using the YH for good things.
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Now that I've got that off my chest, let me share my feelings about the above video:
He mentions 3 stories where someone had a real Nisayon of זנות, overcame the YH with tremendous strength and was Zocheh to marry that same beautiful woman (or her daughter). How should I get inspired by that? I have a major Nisayon to watch porn, or to go to a place where I can be with a Shiksa. I would love to act out every time I feel urges or stress. I am controlling myself and overcoming my burning YH. Now what? Where and when will I receive those enjoyments in a kosher way (to that degree)?
The Gaon's words need to be seen inside the מקור and need a ביאור. Meanwhile, this video hasn't majorly inspired me but rather made me jelous of that Talmid who got to marry a very sought-after pornstar. Please excuse my language.


Don't get me wrong. I have been very inspired by many of their videos; however, my humble opinion is that it would be more beneficial if Vayimaen would choose only the most powerful and fundamental messages and put out only 2 videos a week, ליתן ריוח בין פרשה לפרשה להתבונן.

upanddown wrote on 19 Aug 2025 16:19:

I think you are on the right track. Avraham goes down to Mitzrayim and sees that Sara is beautiful. Once he was in a place of tumah, his level of kedushah is lowered to where he can no longer be completely unaffected by her physical appearance. Our eyes are already exposed. To keep our attention and help us retain the message, they fight fire with fire by producing eye-catching visuals that will take hold against the torrent of competition. (On Torah Anytime you can choose audio only if you wish). I actually enjoy seeing the speaker though.


Was just talking with my wife about this last night (les the part about being jealous of the talmid ).
If you are already in a place where you feel good, these stories could be nice. If I'm struggling, then hearing about how someone else got X Y Z doesn't really make me feel inspired - especially in these examples where the reward was the object (or related object) of their test. What they abstained from in issur they got b'heter. I think it has to be purely altruistic, or even after abstaining there is still a taint of issur. Meaning that if you are jealous of having a pornstar zonah as a wife, that's not the kind of abstaining we're talking about where you mamash get the same thing as a reward. Avadeh you will be rewarded for not sinning, but the reward will be b'heter - in a fashion that is muttar / fitting for you. It's not a free cheeseburger. What you get has to be kosher for you. Muttar porn will never be the answer.

(I believe I mentioned after Don Ghermezian's "billion" dollar day that I prefer to focus on the magnitude of the reward, rather than the specific one someone else got).

Kol Tov

upanddown wrote on 19 Aug 2025 16:19:

I relate to much of what you are saying. I am inspired from many Vayimaen videos, but some are sort of provocative, IMHO. (Kinda ironic to use the word provocative but...) I think in general the org. has Daas torah behind it and it's heart is in the right place. I def relate to being jealous of the Zonah PS as a wife (Even though I don't want that wife in the full sense just the imagined bedroom experience.)

The speaker does mention the joy might come from your own wife or other sources that will be greater.

At the end of the day, you see people that have experienced the "dark side" on a very physical level (From reading his thread, Vekham is an example, but I'm sure there are many others) and that path leads to destruction and sadness.

I don't fully relate to why it leads to destruction - if a person won't get caught, and I would very much appreciate it if someone who has experience can jump in and explain to me and others - but it seems it just does. It isn't great even in olam hazeh, and it ends up being miserable - from what I'm reading. So the percieved joy would really be great for a moment or a bunch of moments and then meh - and instead you can get peace of mind that connects you to Hashem or להבדיל something else. Not sure, just thinking.

I think that there is an aspect of exhiliration that can be felt in a physically intimate way as well as a spiritual way - even higher, by being close to Hashem. The pleasures dont necessarily have the same name - but the good side weighs down the scale - even in olam hazeh. I don't think I'm being clear, anyone relate and can help me organize these thoughts?

upanddown wrote on 19 Aug 2025 16:19:

I just want to say that I am inspired from you and am a bit emotional reading this. A person that has a major nisayon in such a tayvah and is controlling himself and is by day 101 - I bend my head and ask for your bracha please...

trueme wrote on 19 Aug 2025 18:05:

Dear Brother,
It's chasing and running away at the same time. Getting caught might be an uncomfortable aversion, but even knowing that no one would ever find out, that doesn't take away from the fact that we are being controlled by our desires, trying to escape life by drowning ourselves in perceived pleasures. It's a hamster wheel in a cage. They offer treats, but it's still a prison and you only ever get closer to the next step you want to take. Some wheels are bigger or faster, but they are all circles, with no end to be achieved though we keep running and running. There is no real peace to be found in it because there is no limit to indulging. It's never enough, not once the high wears off. Then it's the next hit and the stronger hit. The void only grows.

When you break out of the cycle you need to face that void. You stop running away, hiding, burying, numbing, distracting . . . and you start really living. You stop feeding off the artificial products of this world and begin to find nourishment that feeds both body and soul. You start to feel whole. Maybe not all the time, but at least you stop actively fragmenting yourself as a means to distort your own reality (even when that reality is harsh). You have a Neshama, and it only delights in that which brings you closer to Hashem. 

BenHashemBH wrote on 19 Aug 2025 19:16:

I think the words in bold are the main answer to my question. So for example, the person that gets used to one kind of lust high now needs another - lets say in "even" "just" looking at indecent stuff (I think many more people can relate to that).
Then one gets used to it and needs more and more and the same things that used to excite him become stale and outdated. Then he needs even more of an indecent level to get a high. Your saying the same is true with even actual sex and such acts in person, regardless, if a person is just satisfying his lust he needs more and more. As חז"ל say -

(קהלת רבה (א ל"ד

"אָמַר ר' חִיָּא בַּר אַבָּא: מָשָׁל לַעֵבֶר קָטָן יֵשׁ בָּאָדָם, מַשְׂבִּיעוֹ רָעֵב, מְרִעֲבוֹ שָׂבֵעַ. וְזֶה יֵצֶר הָרָע."

This is also found in בראשית רבה regarding the חטא of ער and עונן.

Its a very powerful truth. Something to keep in mind as we go against the tide of the world. We are actually giving ourselves the opportunity for MORE enjoyment - in life in general or if applicable - even sexually - if we abstain from tayvah. 

And Hashem will ensure we gain and certainly don't lose out.

But to realize that aside from some initial stages of thrills, the tayvah path is a path to misery and being not satisfied, I think that's helpful.

We should all be זוכה to שמחו בה' וגילו צדיקים.

I am BH still on my streak. I noticed a new trigger that while its not P&M or even a picture etc. Is still something that incites tayvah. I don't want to give ideas so I'm not being specific. It is the type of thing that I am going to try and use in a permitted way as it is a useful tool. I spoke to a mantor and he okayed it on a trial basis. 
Posting here as this is sort of a diary for me in this fight.