I am 11 days in without masturbating at all. (Plus putting in effort to be careful at what I look at which helps a lot).
I keep on trying to get to 90 days but have not been able to make it - for years. 
I think I got to day 64 some time ago, I don't even remember when that was though. 
While I'm not sure if I'll make it do day 90 now or anytime soon, I will not go down without a fight. 
Things are very hard in my life right now in general, and it's a lot harder for me to refrain than it is for the average person.
It's always a struggle for everyone, but much more so when your life is dysfunctional.
I heard a shmuz recently (Rabbi Shafier of the shmuz, in his lecture series The Fight) where he says that after 120 
they won't ask you why did you ever fall, rather why did you not get up again and keep trying.
Once you give up it's all over. Hashem takes into account every bit of self sacrifice.
I hope Hashem continues to give me the strength to keep going. Right now, I'm taking it one day at a time moment by moment.

Just stay around and maybe talk with a mentor to help you stay strong 

Shalom Brother ches1,

Kudos to the 11 days and even more kudos for your attitude of never giving up, in which you seem to be putting your money where your mouth is. 

Please consider hashemisonmyside's advice of staying connected, to both mentors and maybe make some friends too. 

As you heard from Rabbi Shafier, they will ask you about your effort in comparison to your own abilities - not how you fared compares to others who may have "easier" or "harder" battles. This is your fight. Objectively you may be correct, but subjectively it is irrelevant, and you are the only subject that matters.

I hope to hear more from you and your inspiring perseverance in never giving up!
Continued hatzlacha and kol tov

Dear Chez1,
I am very sorry to hear about your difficult life circumstances. I daven for you that things should get easier very soon and Hashem should give you the strength you so desperately need.
Reading about your positive attitude and your focus on fighting rather than winning is a breath of fresh air!! 
Keep up your great work and keep posting about your journey. Hashem is undoubtedly very proud of you!

ches1 wrote on 16 Jul 2025 03:37:

Thank you for sharing so openly with us - your strength and determination shine through every word of this post. Eleven days is something to truly celebrate, and the fact that you're putting in effort to be careful about what you look at shows real wisdom and commitment to your growth.

What strikes me most is your incredible resilience. You've been at this for years, you've faced setbacks, and yet here you are - still fighting, still trying, still refusing to give up. That's not just admirable; it's heroic. The fact that you're dealing with other life challenges while also working on this struggle makes your efforts even more remarkable.

That shmuz from Rabbi Shafier sounds like it really spoke to you, and what a powerful message - that Hashem doesn't expect perfection, but persistence. The idea that every bit of self-sacrifice counts, that getting back up is what matters most, is so beautiful and so true. You're living that message right now.

Your approach of taking it one day at a time, moment by moment, is exactly right. Forget about day 90 for now - you're winning today, and that's what matters. Each day you choose to keep going, each moment you make the harder choice, it all adds up to something beautiful.

The fact that you recognize how much harder this is when life feels dysfunctional shows such self-awareness. You're not making excuses - you're acknowledging reality while still choosing to fight. That takes tremendous courage.

Keep going, warrior. We're all rooting for you, and Hashem is definitely giving you strength - you're proof of that right now.