dove63 wrote on 19 Mar 2025 15:30:

Here is a summary of the story of the half-eaten cake:

During the Arab-Israeli war of 1948, Israel was under seige and witout provisions, everyone was starving.
One Rabbi made a point on every Rosh Chodesh to gather basic ingredients and his Rebbetzin baked a small cake.
The cake needed to be cut into the thinnest slices for all the bachurim to get some, but it was a huge highlight.
The bachurim could look forward the entire month to this day, having cake when even food was not available.
One Rosh Chodesh, a boy brought a napkin and wrapped his slice of cake.
When the Rebbi asked him what he was doing, the boy shared that he remembered his father used to love cake, and he was saving it for him.
From a boy who was starving, this is an unbelievable chessed.
As the day went on however, the boy kept checking the cake. He unwrapped the napkin, looked, then closed it and put it back.
It was a long day and one time the boy smelled the cake. It was too much for him, he took one bite, then quickly wrapped it up again.
This happed another couple of times, until finally the boy summoned his resolve not to take any more bites, so that he could give it to his father as intended.
When the boy arrived home and gave the napkin to his father and explained that he brought him the cake, the father began to choke up.
The father opened the napkin, saw the several bites missing, and then burst into tears.
His starving little boy hadn't just saved this cake for him, the bites showed how badly the boy wanted it and how hard it was, yet he brought some anyway.
This is how Hashem sees our nisyonos. Even when we sometimes take little bites of the cake when we should not, never give up.
If we bring Hashem the cake, he sees the bites and appreciates it all the more, knowing how hard it was for us to overcome our nisayon.
And that we did it for his sake, despite our desires and temptations that tripped us up along the way.


All the best Chaver

Day 11:

This has been a struggle giving my all, sometimes I get tired and it controls me, but so far I've managed to pull myself together and end up defeating it.

Thanks to Hashem that sent me melachim like BenHashem for taking the time to write me the shiur with important concepts, and to the others who have written here chosemyshem, alex94 and levaryeh, and also those who gave “Thank you”, I would have fallen a long time ago if it were not for you all.

Difficult tests are coming, but not if I can pass them, unfortunately I may disappoint you. I am doing my best not to let that happen, but it can happen.
I wanted to be great, but I seem to have forgotten where I am.

Be it the will of the Holy Blessed Is, that you all may attain greatness.

Day 0:

Hello again,

Mistakes are for learning.
And my mistake was to think that the results depend on me, and/or depend on other people and/or on nature.
The truth is that the results depend only on Hashem yitbarach, one must make the effort to do the right thing. But even if one did something wrong by mistake, He knows our nature, He remembers that we are dust. That “bad” thing we did also had to happen and we should not feel any worse than we already do, and we should pick ourselves up once again. And be happy enjoying the journey.

I have a hard time remembering that the outcome of everything I do depends on Hashem. So I plan to report to you each day how it went.

Maybe Hashem put me to this test because He loves me.

Shavua tov!

dove63 wrote on 19 Mar 2025 03:40:

Day 1:

Today Baruch Hashem, I found the answer to this in a shiur:

I shouldn't have felt bad, It seems that this feeling was due to the withdrawal makes you have stronger feelings.
Knowing how I should feel becomes easier.

Day 2:

Studying, nothing to highlight.

Day 3:

The first problem appeared but I didn't see it as a problem, but I felt excited to know what my beloved wants with this.
I'm not sure what good can come out of the “problem”, I have some suspicions. But what I am sure of is that it is also for the best.
I seem to be living in another world.

Day 4:

I keep remembering that it is Hashem that is the cause of the apparent not good.

I feel that I am a bad son because I want to get away from my parents and not benefit them for all the good they have done for me, because I feel that they affect me negatively whenever I am with them and if I would help them they would use my help to do more harm.
I depend on them financially, I have been willing to live on the street rather than stay with them.
How is it possible that my parents know about the problem I have with P and do nothing.
It still hurts me that they left me a computer with unfiltered internet access for me and my brother when I was only 11 years old and my brother 12 years old. And we spent many hours a day without them knowing what we were doing. How can they have such a lack of wisdom?

Day 1:

I asked my moreh about this and he replied “...it is advisable that you seek independence and help them only as much as you can but stay away from them and concentrate on your own soul”.

But I asked one more time: "If my parents ask me for money to give or lend them, but I know that they have what they need to live in dignity, is it an obligation to give it to them?"

And he answered me: "

"

So my medium-term goal is to become independent.

Last Friday morning I was feeling listless for no apparent reason, but after listening to an inspiring shiur it gave me the strength to prepare for Shabbat. And after thinking about the reason for this, I realized that it was because I was going to start another Shabbat alone.

I have tried several times to eat with my family, but they say they are not available for it, it doesn't feel good to make food for several and then you have to eat alone.
I am looking for ideas to keep me motivated for Shabbat. If anyone has any, I beg you to tell me.

Shalom Brother Dove,

That sounds really hard.

Do you know any Shabbos songs? Singing always gets me into the spirit of things.

All the best!

BenHashemBH wrote on 01 Apr 2025 02:50:

I have the Koren Shalem sidur which has a lot of lyrics but I don't know the intonation.

dove63 wrote on 01 Apr 2025 13:53:

Try carlebach or mbd 

If you like music / singing, you can check out some artists and learn the songs you enjoy (should be able to find a translation too). Are there any Shabbos observant Jews/communities close enough to your city to spend a Shabbos there?