ShtettlMan wrote on 26 Nov 2024 23:12:

Very often, part of the feeling horrible is the secrecy, that you are carrying around.
Unburdening - to people who really really get you - is super cathartic.

redfaced wrote on 27 Nov 2024 00:29:

Red-faced has just saved you $50,000 in therapy. 
He deserves a BIG FAT thank you!?

I dont know how to answer a BIG thanks but take it like that!
Honestly I dont think I would have been to a therapist fpr that but still I feel less heavy now

BH Im at 108 days
I think its due to the time I have to spend on my computer for 2 weeks now (I cant learn as much as  I want, cant go out, I really need to work for exams), but these days are really hard. I wanna watch P everyday and want to M as well...
Thank you guys for you help ! 

Hayom yom 110 to my trip. (I really thank Hashem for helping me, it's a Yeshoua I did not expect to come before I would get married...)
If I look at my clean days I would be at 180, so half a year!! BH I keep going, I see the differences between now and a year ago. Just to talk about one of it: my memory is really better. When I was younger (and still not addict), I was really good at school, remembering everything that was said in class. I couldn't explain why but when I arrived to college (before Yeshiva), I didn't manage to learn the lessons I had to which made me feel like I was not so good at school, maybe was it just easier. Actually it was the time of my life I was watching P everyday day, sometimes multiple times a day.
But during the last 6 months, I observed a real improve in my זיכרון. I remember things I said, what happen during the classes, the exact moment when I learn things.

I didn't hear about this aspect of the addiction before getting here, but P&M really spoiled what was the mos important for me: my שכל. 

ShtettlMan wrote on 12 Dec 2024 09:31:


Yup. Porn twists the brain. We don't realize it at the time but it destroys the normal ways of society. 
As you get cleaner, the brain suddenly starts to open and work properly. 
You are doing amazing work here , cleaning your brain and preparing it for the rest of your life. 
May Hashem bentch you for all the work you have put in