Hello everybody,

I am 13 days in the 90 day challenge and had a slip yesterday (inappropriate thumbnails on youtube), hoping that posting here will help to hold myself accountable. Always open to advice/chizzuk.
My motivation for getting clean is this: H' is the supreme good in the world and he created the world so that we would benefit from him. Our goal is to get as close as possible to him through our Avoda. We keep kosher, keep shabbat, we learn, we daven, but the essential level of kedusha is through shmirat einayim and shmirat habris. IYH I want to be clean of znus forever and get as close as possible to H'. 
הַבָּא לְהִטַּהֵר מְסַיְּעִין אוֹתוֹ: we should give it our all to be holy and H' will help us.
Would also love to have partner/mentor/someone to talk to, for more accountability on this journey (although idk how PM's work here).
Anyways I was very inspired by many of you guys here and decided to post, looking forward to talk to you !

Shalom Brother levaryeh,
Welcome! 
It's inspiring to see you working on this. 

There are a lot of great people here. HHM (Hashem Help Me) is a mentor who has helped a tremendous number of people. You can try reaching out to him michelgelner@gmail.com 

Hatzlacha 

Day 14 & 15 clean. Been reading the battle of the generation, very inspiring. Recently I have been getting a strong urge to get married, however I would like to do some time in yeshiva before.

levaryeh wrote on 30 Aug 2024 07:05:

Great job! Keep going! You're so lucky to be working on this before you get married...
Re going to Yeshiva, sounds like a great idea.. do you have a Rabbi you could speak to who could advise you? Like someone who knows you personally and can judge what the best way forward is for you? An urge to get married should not be ignored, so it's really important to get the correct guidance.

Much Hatzlacha,
UpAndDown

levaryeh wrote on 30 Aug 2024 07:05:

Wow! Keep it up!

The thing is I never went to yeshiva, and would love to go before getting married

B"H day 16 and 17 clean. Let's get closer to Hashem !

B''H Day 18&19 clean. I've been reflecting a bit and find it crazy how the YH wipes the brain when it comes to lust (at least for me it did)

Posting for accountability:

B"H day 20 & 21 were clean. However today while I was at work, and procrastinating to get work done, I went down the wikipedia rabbit hole trying to see something hile not wanting too I managed to close the tab but then reopened it then closed and then reopened. B"H I did not see anything. I have to be more careful when I have something to do that's annoying/difficult and I find myself procrastinating. Any ideas for what I can do ? Because upon reflection, many of the times I fell were in this sort of situation.

Just fell today after a 25 day streak. It hurts because it was a good streak, it hurts because its Elul, but mostly it hurts because I want to get closer to H'. 
Yesterday I slipped when I saw, and looked, at inappropriate magazines at the train station. Maybe the desire led to what happened today when I accidentally saw something triggering on the computer at work and one thing lead to another and I ended up looking at adult content while there where people around me (not too close but pretty close). I have a filter but there is a loophole that I need to fix.
Contacted HHM but have not been able to reach him yet.
Going forward I want to strengthen myself so this wont happen again but not too sure on what to work again. Open to some chizuk.

Restarting the 90 day challenge tomorrow, I'm never giving up.

Thank you,

levaryeh wrote on 09 Sep 2024 18:41:

Dear Brother,
I'm sorry to hear that and feel for you. 

Don't wait for tomorrow. Start the 90-day challenge again today! Right now you are getting back up. Right now you know you need to fix the filter loophole. Right now you can think of a way to distract yourself when something inappropriate catches your eye. 

You still want to get closer to Hashem, and He didn't go anywhere, so climb back in and KOMT!

Thank you for the encouragement, really helps ! I just texted the TAG guy

We get back up ! Day 1 clean B''H !