Keep up the good work and we all are all here to help!!!  You are very inspiring and I for one am inspired.

Thanks everybody...for your faith in my abilities and praise...B"H we're into Day #11 clean...

BTW. That K9 filter really works especially when you have it set to turn off your Internet connection for 2 hours after it has to block too many websites.

Some thoughts on the number 11 - Eleven were the number of ingredients in the Ketoret brought twice a day in the Beis Hamikdosh - One of the ingredients in the Ketoret was Tzipoeren which comes froma non-kosher snail called in English Onychia - There are those that serve hashem regularly with a Korbonos from Kosher animals exclusively, and then there are those that make such beautiful fragrance for the Lord almighty by being Makriv even Non-Kosher parts of thier Lives.

Fom Wikipedia: Onycha, or Blatta Byzantina, is a fragrance or incense made from the fingernail-like operculum, or closing flap, of certain sea snails, including Strombus lentiginosus, Onyx marinus, and Unguis odoratus. It is the upper part of a shell called by the Latins Conchylium. These opercula may be of different sizes, but their overall shape is that of a claw, which is the origin of the name Unguis odoratus. The name Blatta Byzantina is occasioned by its having usually been imported from Constantinople, the ancient Byzantium.

In antiquity, onycha was used as a fragrance. Rubbed with an alkali solution prepared from the bitter vetch to remove impurities, it was then soaked in the fermented berry juice of the Caper shrub, or a strong white wine, in order to enhance its fragrance.

Onycha, along with equal parts of stacte, galbanum, and frankincense was a pungent component of the holy incense used in the temple in Exodus.[1] Such formulas for holy incense and oil were not to be duplicated for nonsacred use.[2]

....I just watched an innapropriate (albeit mainstream) movie (As most are) I  promised myself that if anything like that happens I will create a password that I cannot remember so then I'll have to rely on the filter Gabbai to make any changes....

This is what i must do but I don't want to...

I think I have to retstart my count...I feel like a real loser ETC....

I need your help to take the drastic step of giving away control over my computer...

I feel really small and powerless....I let myself down...Oh when there is no Ta'ava it's so easy to get high and mighty....Hashem i need your help in order to serve you...I need the streght to give away the control.

Not sure if that's considered a fall - speak to Guard, but it may very well be a slip.

I htink that your plan of giving your password away is a good one - But remember that you are NOT, NOT, NOT a loser! You're a WINNER!

The very fact that you're learning from this experience proves that you're a winner!

And even if it is a fall, I already know that you're going to use this fresh opportunity to start again, and move forward, determined!

Thanks Silent for not being Silent...What a dumb Cliche'.....Knowing your there and knowing you understand exactly what I'm going through [I read your thread and i stand (actually right now I'm siting) in awe of your battle] helps tremendously...

I should look at the upside ...whenever this happened in the past i would give in immediately ....turn to actual pn etc.. Vedal.

I got to get together the strength to enter that forgettable Password into the filter....and the keep working on myself through the 12 step prgrm....Guard your post today (or was it E-mail) really sells the point, that the 12 steps and changing ourselves on a constant basis is the only way out of the woods for this.

HB, sharpen your point!!

Check with Guard about the content of what you watched. It might not have lost your count, this first time might be just a major SLIP. It also depends on your kavanah, if you watched the thing KNOWING there would be one innapropriate scene, waiting to see it. If you just went to be entertained, and this one scene came on for a few short seconds and you were already mezmerized by the 'cleaner parts" of the movie, well, maybe there's leniency, i dont really know.

Anywho, don't let it get you down. Make it into an Aliyah She'zorach Hayerida. Don't let it the Menuval beat you. YOU GONNA GIVE UP WITHOUT A FIGHT?! If you give in I"LL SIT ON YOU! (Then you'll live a 2-demensional existence for SURE!). Now GET UP and POTCH HIM BACK!! Do an extra chesed, get your tuchis out to the Beis Medrash and learn, better yet, make your extra learning add up to the same amount of minutes spent with that whole movie (even if you have to break the seder up into a few parts).  Oh, and tell Him who sent ya.... I can't come along cuz i have two tickets to a ..... HA HA ONLY KIDDING!!!

Remember who the Guardian Angel of Hollywood is....  THE MALACH HAMOOVIES... !!

Look up in Rabbeinu Yona's Yesod HaTeshuva (Rosh Hashannah Machzor) where he discusses the Ritvah's Taanis, which helps a person break his Teivos from grabbing him. It's a GREAT EITZAH!!!

Lots of Love, and I still admire you!!

Hmm.

I've seen a couple of movies in my time sober (I'm a bit of a movie buff) but I checked the warnings before hand to find out if they contained explicit scenes and either covered or looked away most of the time a woman was in picture. I also made a point of not fantasizing/lusting over any of them. I'm not sure if that counts as a slip or fall or what but what it did reinforce is that what many people have said on here is true; movies are no good... especially for people like us.

Ha - love the guardian angel of hollywood line!  :D :D You might want to even post that in the chill spot!

And HB - Cliches can be fun, and I constantly smirk at the irony of my own username, considering the fact that I always have trouble shutting up!

Thank you for your encouragement, and thanks for reading my thread, too - it's always nice when I have visitors - gives me a reason to dust and tidy up a bit!  ;D

How to contact the Guard himself...When I reply to Chizuk E-mails...is that THE Guard or are there different Guards?

Thank Steve - SilentBattle - You guys are really good at picking people up...i guess you have experience...

Hey Steve,

What's the Ritva's ta'anis...C'mon don't make me look it up.


A nd please don't sit on me...What a Heavy threat!

humanbeing wrote on 11 Jan 2010 23:47:

Email eyes.guard@gmail.com or send a PM to "guardureyes"

I'm just helping you see yourself in an honest light - then you're picking yourself up!

okay guys, quit with the "pick up" lines, or we'll get kicked off the forum...

:D :D :D :D