Hello fellow brothers,

I can't begin to describe my feelings of love and gratitude to all you kind Yidden. Kal Yisrael Araivim etc. and now I can truly see I'm not alone...

A little about me - I'm 32 years old with 4 B"H beautiful children and a very wise wife whom I truly love and cherish.

I have been struggling with remaining clean since I'm 15/16 years old...I fall once or twice a week since then.
When I got married (8 years ago) I was able to control myself for quite some time. However, the pressures of Parnossoh and the pitfalls of the high speed internet. R"L... Due to technical difficulties (I marked 1/1/2009 instead of 1/1/2010 as my first day) mistakenly my wall of honor post shows a previous streak of 364. I am now clean for 4 days since the Goyishe New Year and I hope to make that 364 days clean (and beyond) a reality.

I hope to find a sponsor or at very least a partner to whom I can entrust my internet filter/Accountability software. I will need that person to spend time in the beginning to tweak the settings since I have to use the internet extensively as part of my job. Unfortunately, I spend many hours alone in my office...I pray that this accountability and sense of community will help me attain a daily victory over my Yetzer Horah and desires for many years.

I also hope to find a Phone Group that would work with my schedule...I'm in the West Coast

Good luck and we are all here to help.  Keep up the good work and 4 days is a great start.

Stay positive and have a good attitude.

Thanks sci1977 for the quick response...

I know I can do this. There are so many tayere Yidden with me. Not to mention all of those thousands of years of ancestors cheering me on. May we Zoiche to Geulah and the complete Shechitah of the YH.

HB

resolve to stay here

you are HOME in good hands

its a lifechanging group here

GEVALDIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

or as the y say in the left west coast

awesomeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!


uchh what i would do to be in san diego now!!!!!!!

i am freezing my "hoizin" off in NY


bards

Dear Bards,

I appreciate your sense of humor...Yup it's nice and warm out here. With the help of our AWSOME and loving G-d Almighty we should all be able to stay in control of how nice our weather is. There is no better feeling when we can control our desires and kick them out the window.

Welcome bro. Youve come to the right place/ You deserve so much credit just for joining this site. And check out all the great threads theres so much to learn here. And in just a few im sure guard will be here with his welcoming package. Kol Hakavod to you. Hatzlacha. Wishing all the best.

humanbeing wrote on 04 Jan 2010 17:53:


yes it is true

but the shrt term thrill of po*n is sweeter just enough to get us aroused

and once we are in we are in

if it felt so good to be clean we would have never gotten addicted
the good feeling is that you threw the monkey off your back

keeping it off is hard work

almost as hard as me driving the scenic route 1 with my big rig
from mission bay to fishermans wharf

(ok you boroparkers from san diego so san fransisco)

KEEP ON TRUCKIN!!!

WHEN U PASS VENICE BEACH FARMACHH DEE EYE-GALACH!!

BARDS

Dear humanbeing,

I am the admin of this forum. Welcome to our community! Once you've arrived, there's no turning back. Everyone here will just grab a hold of you and pull you up, up, up!

...

To have someone take care of your filter password and accountability software, be in touch with our filter Gabai at filter.gye@gmail.com. See this page for instructions on how to install it best.

We get cries for help every day, by e-mail and on the forum. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama    And that is why we created the GYE handbooks (links below). If you read them well, from beginning to end, slowly, and try to implement what you read, you will find the answers within them to enable you to completely turn your life around. You're worth it.

Also, join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day, and post away on this forum. You will get tons of daily Chizuk and support. This disease can't be beat alone. It works best when you get out of isolation!

GuardYourEyes also offers various free anonymous phone conferences, where you can join a group of other frum Yidden, along with an experienced sponsor. See this page for four different options. Our conferences are taking place daily, throughout the week... This would be a tremendous step in the right direction for you and help you learn freedom from this addiction. Not only will you learn the secret of the 12-Steps - which is known to be the world's most powerful program for beating addiction having helped millions world wide, but joining the group will be another way of GETTING OUT OF ISOLATION and connecting with others who are going through what you are.

Let me tell you a little about the two GuardYourEyes handbooks. They lay down the cornerstone and foundation of our work, and they make our network much more effective and helpful for people.

You see, until now, people would often get "lost" when coming to our website, not knowing what tips and techniques to try. For example, a beginner wouldn't jump straight into therapy or 12-Step groups, while on the other hand, someone whose addiction was more advanced wouldn't be helped by the standard tips of "making fences" putting in "filters" etc... So it was essential to develop a handbook which details all the techniques and tools to dealing with this addiction in progressive order. Now with these handbooks, anyone can read through and see what steps they've tried already, and if those steps haven't worked, they can continue on through the handbook where the steps become progressively more powerful and "addiction-oriented".

And the second handbook, called the "Attitude" handbook, can also help anyone, no matter what level of addiction they may have. Often people write in to us saying that had they only known the proper outlook & attitude that we try and share on the GuardYourEyes network when they were younger, they would have never fallen into an addiction in the first place! So we hope that through this handbook, many addictions will be prevented.

The handbooks are PDF files, set up as eBooks, and they have bookmarks and hyper-links in the Index, to make them easy to navigate.

Note: You might want to print them out to read away from the computer. Keep in mind though, that if you do this, you won't be able to click on the many web links in the articles. But you can always come back to them later. The truth is, it's anyway good to go through the whole handbook once without clicking on links, just to get an overview of all the tools available. Once you did that, you can start again from tool #1 and read each tool through more carefully, click the links and study each technique and assess whether you have tried it fully yet or not...

Right click on the links below and select "Save Link/Target As" to download the handbooks to your computer.

1) The GuardYourEyes Handbook
This Handbook details 18 suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. For the first time, we can gauge our level of addiction and find the appropriate tools for our particular situation. And no matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

2) The GuardYourEyes Attitude
The Attitude Handbook details 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth...

May Hashem be with you!

great suggestions...I signed up to the Daily Chizuk E-mails...and they are great as is this mazing forum...I can't beklieve I haven't heard of this place before. I's extremely scared/terrified of failing on my 90 day challenge - Nueron changing Brain activity...I know I got to concentarte on today...I know that today - day #4, I can definitely win. Thank you for listening reading. I made a Partner request with Questionare...I'd like to wait until I have a parner/sponsor and set up the Filter with him. I hope you can find someone for me soon.

Leave it to G-d and take it one moment at a time.

One step at a time. Its not as easy as it sounds. But it aint meant to be easy, was it??

Just signed up to k9 and waiting for gabbai Filter to send the license Number....i'm getting jittery and scared . i want to run away and stop myself from stopping myself. This is a really hard step to face the fact that I'm truly addicted and powerless. I hope I stay here....i desperatly need too. Still clean for now....I need to make it to tomorrow!!! All the Shavuos, davvening, fasting and Segulos comes down to being accountable to all of you...My head not working well and I'm blabbling. I'm truly a liitlle crazy!!! HELP!

It's SOOOOOOOOO good to have finally found ONE Human Being....!!

Welcome to BCON - The Best Chevra On Earth! B"H you were zoche to find this site, now you have found a wellspring of real FRIENDS. We are all comrades facing the same struggle, but the amazing thing is that we all understand each other, you will NEVER be alone in this battle anymore. Here you can share your feelings and fears, no one looks down upon the other, adarabba we give chizuk to each other to continue to succeed.

As we all just announced at the end of seder Beraishis, "Chazak Chazak V'Nischazeik!" Be strong, and we will be strengthened. Notice the "being strengthened" is Dependent upon our being strong first. Our effort is the catalyst. Hashem will answer, but we have to ask and act FIRST. And that requires bravery.

HB, you have already demonstrated bravery in coming here, beginning to share, and setting yourself up for success by covering the details. I am in awe of your fortitude!! Seriously. May HKB"H continue to strengthen you, to hold firm to your resolve, and to learn what you need to succeed.

Holy Brother, you WILL succeed, and come out to fillfill your dream of cleanliness and purity.

And this site is your mikveh.

Have a nice swim, and we'll be in touch. Please visit me anytime at Steve's Journal. But put on your towel first, please....

Steve.

Baruch Hashem!

I made it to day 5 and still clean. That's four full days and I'm now on the board at level 1...With you - my dear FRIENDS - People that really care and love me. I will Iy"H change alot of those "Neural pathways" in the next 90 Days.

I'm reading alot of the logs and stories on this Forum and I'm honored to be among such Ovdei hashem B'gufam - including you my dear kollel Guy...You will continue to be victorious because of the great people that we are with here. Steve and Habib thanks for being there when it looked kinda dark - Today i'm doing way better and as soon as I finish posting I will be setting up the K9 Filter everyone recommends.
There is so much I want to say...

I finnaly have a place that's safe enogh for me to say it. Thank you Rav Guard...Thank you fellow Forumers and Thank you my/our loving tatte in himmel!!!

Great you made it another day.  Remember to take it slow and one minute at a time.  Keep up the good work.  We are all here to help!!!