Maybe one day we will meet in Barditchev...i think there is no internet connection there...That would really move things along quickly.


Do you really drive a real Truck?

Steve wrote on 06 Jan 2010 21:25:


Such beautiful suggestions can only come from a real beautiful person...

BTW re; flavor -  any flavor besides Strwbeery is just fine...especially if there is hot chocolate fudge on top!

humanbeing wrote on 07 Jan 2010 17:40:
That was beautiful HB. keep up the great work.

Oh Baby! I Intend to!

humanbeing wrote on 07 Jan 2010 18:16:
Now thats the spirit. So wheres the woodford?? :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

humanbeing wrote on 07 Jan 2010 18:00:


depends what you call "drive"

depends what you call a "truck"  

Sorry I personnaly prefer the Scotch...Got Johonnie Gold right here...Lechaim!

As I always say - Don't drink and drive, you might bump and spill.

bardichev wrote on 07 Jan 2010 18:19:


:D :D :D

Keep on rocking HB - you're awesome!

Here's a nice A & W for you, my friend:

Artists the world over know that drawing pencils come in different densities of graphite, the H series are the harder ones that give lighter, finer lines; the B series are softer and give darker, broader lines. The higher the number, the more pronounced the middah, so a 6H is harder than a 2H, and a 6B is softer than a 2B. The densities flow into each other like a time-line, azoi:

6H, 4H, 2H, H, B, 2B, 4B, 6B

Well, guess what? Right in the middle, they created a pencil that overlaps the best of both middos, and they call it an HB!!

So your initials , the name that you've chosen for yourself, means a person with a perfect balance of middos - not too hard and not too soft.

Thank you for showing us ALL what it means to be a HUMAN BEING!!

KOL TUV, MY FRIEND. KUTGW!!

Hello human
it seems like we have the same struggle ( like everyone else on this forum) and about the same age I am a bit younger but married for 5 years and have 3 kids, clean for the same amount of days and I work alone on a computer and when I have worries about parnasa and the responsibilities that I need to get to that’s when I turn to lust, first it starts with just wasting time on clean sites then to next and next and before I know I cannot control myself and cannot stop, there is a voice within in me that tells me to stop but I have zero control.
what has helped me get thru this week is talking to someone everyday, I am in contact of someone who is sober for 10 years and he is guiding me ( temporally sponsor ), I even went to a SA meeting ( I cried in the parking lot but I was on the phone with my sponsor and I forced myself in) I really feel the 12 step program is the only way out, I started to read the book and it is amazing I am really starting to get to know myself and I see a brighter future ( please Hashem I surrender my yaitzer harah you deal with….) One thing I learned so far is to stay away ( even in your head) from anything that will trigger your desires, it is not only the internet it is what you see and think about before hand, it can be little things but they turn out big.

typically when I got to the supermarket and public places my eyes and mind start to wander around, I look at magazine covers, advertisements other women etc and there is a party going on in my head… these are triggers for me, normally when I am doing good and sober ( for 1-3 days if I am lucky) I would just push away the thought, fight it…  yesterday when I walked in to the store and naturally I was going to give a glips here and there, I right away called my sponsor we talked about and then I told myself I don’t need so in a very calmly away I did not give in I did not let those fantasias build up in my head.

bottom line is we need to hear from others and TALK to others and get it out…, in till now we tried on our own we did not talk about it we were stuck in our own box… we made shevos and shmuos, learn musar, kabbalah chasidut, made lchaim, you name it we tried it all.
keep up the great work and they say one day at a time, you can do it we can do, do not give up, do not wait till Feb to start with chaim duvids calls, start now, you may have a voice in your head saying, wait another month once you really start then you will stop, DON’T GIVE UP, YOU ARE NOT ALONE

from my office  :-* ( i hope that is not a trigger to anyone )
Yidster

Yidster...thanks for sharing. It's only this week I realized I'm not completely crazy there are others out there almost with identical struggles & the same (this is the critical point) strong intentions of cleaning themselves up and for the first time finding others that want to help them work on this private, embarresing and very personal issue. In my case, nobody in real life, knows the struggles and issues I have. Sharing on this Board and interacting with Yidden that are concerned on a daily basis in enhancing thier Avodas Hashem, though they are anonymous, has been a true blessing for the past 7 Days.

Having said that I'm still waiting for the Partnership/Sponsor Finders to find me a partner/sponsor...So far the Forum and the excitement/challenge on being on the board (I guess I never grew out of liking to be on the School's honor roll)  is enough to keep me clean. Although I still like to "forget" my troubles by wasting time on the internet (even on this site in the past 4 days I've been on for over 12 hours!!!....many of those hour are legit but probably 2/3 is part of my escaping...I'm not complaining it's way better than any alternative). However, in the future days and week ahead I think I'll need something a littlle more personal and just a tad less anonymous for this newfound accountability and moral support to work for the next 88 years. Actually Mioshiach is coming very soon so perhaps Day #7 will cut it. I know...everybody reading this ...We got to take one day at a time...I know that today i could make it through...

I started this post wanting to ask for help since I'm starting to get that jittery and shaky feeling again....It's withdrawal they tell me...by they, I mean you guys...and it's a bad feeling but good..

Writing and trying to give you advice Yidster has helped that weird feeling considerably...(habib, Steve and someone else told me to help someone else When I feel I want to act out...Aha! so you do know what your talking about) I go got to work...I have to stop being so lazy and afraid of failing.

Show me the Love my Fellow Forumers...With Your Love and my HB perfect Pencil  (...seriously Stevelle...You are a weird artist....And you do need to write a Megillah to make your points..But Your words do fill my heart with a beautiful warm feeling  and Ahavas Yisrael) We will prevail.!!!..

Yidster please keep posting...Alot of what you write like your style on the way you describe your internet usage bad habits ....makes you sound like your inside my head..

Your posts are very beneficial to me.

humanbeing is awesome.

FACT.

One step at a time, one day at a time, after all, you're only a human being 

guardureyes wrote on 07 Jan 2010 22:42:


Guard man,

You have a heck of alot on your plate...May Hashem give you the stregth and financial resources to help you reach every Yid in need

Well said, HB - amen!

It sounds like you're already doing fantastically!

I thank Hashem for GYE in modim every day! Well, actually...soemtimes I forget :-\ But I should.

When I post and interact, and offer chizuk, or just share my thoughts, it gives me a connection, an outlet, and I don't even feel the need to act out! And you're part of this wonderful thing that does that - so thank you, and realize that hashem will surely pay you back for your kindness!