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Daily post accountability
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: Daily post accountability 1265 Views

Daily post accountability 29 Jul 2024 19:58 #418013

Hi,
I am creating this post to document my daily struggle.
I find it very hard to stay clean in certain situations such as being stressed, off from work on Friday or Sunday, bored and not active. Days 7 and Day 14 is when I start to have anxiety which I call withdrawal symptoms- longest I have been clean for was about 114 days. I have locked all my devices, joined GYE this past week and will find a mentor.
I started thanking Hashem for being so generous and giving me the quality trait of never giving up- even though I fell hundreds of times. Started to read success and horror stories to get me motivated. 
Day 1:
So far today is going well, had no urges yet- only half way to the day being over. Will update you guys soon.
Any tips you guys recommend to get to 90 days?

Re: Daily post accountability 29 Jul 2024 20:09 #418015

  • BenHashemBH
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You get to 90 days by taking care of one day at a time.
Staying active on the forum is helpful for many. Support and accountability. Same for reaching out to talk to people, if you feel ready for that.
Hatzlacha
Today is yesterday's tomorrow.
The yetzarim a person has the most trouble dealing with are his most powerful God-given tools for developing his potential and achieving shleimus.
In order to love who you are, you cannot hate the experiences that shaped you.
It doesn't matter how big the number is, only that today it is going up by one.

A little about what I'm doing here: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/412971-I-Want-to-Help-Others

Re: Daily post accountability 29 Jul 2024 20:57 #418016

Hi! Welcome! I can totally relate to the stress trigger. I had something come up today and it was quite stressful. All the sudden I had these crazy urges to go watch something which thank god i didn't have any access to. Hatzlacha Raba.

Re: Daily post accountability 30 Jul 2024 18:56 #418124

Day 1 Update:
Usually Day 1 of 90 days is a breeze and I don't have any urges to see something inappropriate.
But today went for a spin.
I went to eat out at a fancy restaurant and someone was dressed very inappropriate and I was very shocked that at this fancy restaurant this could occurred. I looked twice but I did not look a third time and switched my seat with someone else. It bothered me a lot that this occurred, I did not act out or start look at things that was inappropriate. I am still shocked but thankful that I am still strong. Thank you Hashem for being with me. 

Re: Daily post accountability 31 Jul 2024 19:41 #418212

Day 2:
Today went well, I did not have any desire to look at anything inappropriate but on my way to learning to my chavrusha I started feeling bad that my business was not picking up, and started to have an urge. I would say it was a 2/10 but I was able to get over it. 
Thank you Hashem for giving me the strength to stay strong. 
Last Edit: 31 Jul 2024 19:42 by hundredbrachos. Reason: add more info

Re: Daily post accountability 31 Jul 2024 19:43 #418213

  • redfaced
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hundredbrachos wrote on 31 Jul 2024 19:41:
Day 2:
Today went well, I did not have any desire to look at anything inappropriate but on my way to learning to my chavrusha I started feeling bad that my business was not picking up, and started to have an urge. I would say it was a 2/10 but I was able to get over it. 
Thank you Hashem for giving me the strength to stay strong. 

Keep your eye on the goal - TODAY.

You got this brother.
May you slide down the banister of happiness and get many splinters of success up your career

Feel free to send me an owl, a howler, or even a Crumple-Horned Snorkack to Iamredfaced@gmail.com


The Red Face

Re: Daily post accountability 01 Aug 2024 15:21 #418244

Day 3:
I am super tired. I have not had much sleep the last couple of nights due to working on my business and taking care of my baby. Today one of my clients came dressed very in appropriately. I told myself " that I have been very strong and that its not worth looking at her. Better to loose her as a client then to mess up on my streak". Baruch Hashem I was able to stay strong. Part of my journey is that I would watch one of the GYE recommend videos or flight to freedom and read one article on horror and one article of recovery. Today I read an article called "1000 days clean" which I felt it resonated with me and made a very strong point which I will qoute here:
"CONNECT with someone on gye. The opposite of addiction is not sobriety - it's CONNECTION. Addiction thrives on isolation! Find someone on GYE (either through the forum or the partner program) that you can share your pain and struggles with. Have someone that you can text, call or meet when the going gets rough. And finally, have someone who can cheer you on and celebrate your both big and small wins with you!"
So I reached out to someone on gye to help me get through.

Article to 1000 days clean: guardyoureyes.com/articles/stories/item/1000-days-clean?category_id=11

Re: Daily post accountability 01 Aug 2024 17:32 #418261

  • abieham
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How did you deal with your client? I need tips. Please

Re: Daily post accountability 01 Aug 2024 19:30 #418284

I try my best not to look at them or pretend that I am busy with writing down what they would like or focus in the distance 

Re: Daily post accountability 02 Aug 2024 15:01 #418346

Day: 4 
Baruch Hashem today went well, no urges and no thoughts to look at inappropriate material.  

Re: Daily post accountability 04 Aug 2024 06:54 #418402

Day 5:
Today is Friday which is usually a harder than the rest of the work week since I have some downtime and therefore I am more likely to fall. Baruch Hashem I did not fall which I consider it a win! I tried to kept myself busy by doing שנים מקרה and working on my business and before you know it was Shabbos and I powered down everything. I did have a small urge, I would say about 3/10 but I did not let that urge continue to grow by thinking of the urge rather I pushed it out of mind and kept my self busy. Thank you Hashem for giving me the strength to continue. 

Re: Daily post accountability 05 Aug 2024 19:32 #418512

Day 6:
On Shabbos, we were invited out to a meal and I told my wife that she should meet me in shul at around 12. I was waiting for my wife but she did not come to shul. So I waited until I saw my sister in law and asked if my wife left the house, she told me she did not leave the house yet. I was a little disappointed/stressed that she did not get ready for shul so I walked backed home and I told myself, " this a test from Hashem, He wants to see if you will pass" I kept repeating this line to myself until I got home. I felt much better telling myself that this is a test because I know that when I am stressed I am more likely going to fall. Baruch Hashem I am remained strong for the rest of shabbos. Thank you Hashem for helping me remain strong. 

Re: Daily post accountability 05 Aug 2024 19:38 #418513

Day 7: 
Sundays, are the most frequent days that I fall and that is due to being not active and wasting time on the internet such as youtube. Then ill get an urge which will lead me down a rabbit hole to things I don't want to watch. I made it a point to get out of the house the second I got home. I ate breakfast, took my daughter for a walk, came home and told my wife lets go swimming- I exerted myself in the pool until I became very tired and then ate again- went to daven mincha and before you know it, it was time to go to sleep. I tried to keep myself very active so don't get any urges or when walking on the street I try to look down.  Thank you Hashem for helping me remain strong.

Re: Daily post accountability 06 Aug 2024 16:31 #418577

Day 8:
Today was a very busy day at my job. I had a lot of clients coming and it was very busy but I told myself that Hashem will take care of me and it will all go well. Hashem sent me a test. After speaking to all my clients, I sat down in my office to relax and go through my WhatsApp. Someone sent a message in a WhatsApp group stating to block this certain phone number since they are spamming groups with inappropriate material. At that moment I had an urge to look at the profile picture of said number but I told myself that this is a test directed from Hashem to see if ill pass and Baruch Hashem I PASSED! I cleared all messages in the group, then I removed myself from the group itself. Thank you, Hashem, for keeping me strong.

Re: Daily post accountability 06 Aug 2024 17:59 #418587

  • proudyungerman
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Amazing!
Drink in those good feelings!
KOMT!
Feel free to reach out and say hi!
proudyungerman@gmail.com
406-219-8398

My Journey:
guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/406231-The-Real-Me
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