Sorry to hear.
Sounds like the YH played his FOMO card (Fear of Missing Out).
The thing about feeding desire is that it always wants more. You can never feed it enough. It wants all the fancy sushi, and when that becomes boring, it eyes the prime steakhouse. The appetite becomes ever more exotic, ever more desperate, and when not fulfilled it makes us feel ever more empty inside. When it is filled, it makes us feel sick inside. You aren't missing out either way.
Porn hijacks the brain, then we don't realize that we're not actually getting what we want. We want the feel-good rush of tayva and physical pleasure. We ignore the part that it's laced with poison. It's salt water when we are thirsty. It wets our mouth while it shrivels up our insides. 

Don't think that porn is good but you should not have it because of religion. Porn is bad. Make the choice for yourself. What do you want? Fight for it.

Continued hatzlacha!

You absolutely don't, "must live a porn free life". Why must you? What happens if you do something you MUSTN'T do?
That is an idea that usually does not help.
What does help is to actually WANT to live a porn-free life. 
A way to do that is the read The Battle Of The Generation.
Than read it again.
And again.
You are harnessing the feel good feeling you get, from successfully overcoming an urge of any sort, to power you down the road of success.

Duuuuude.......... You really still think you are 'missing out' when  you dont watch porn? Missing out what? do you realize that people not hooked to porn or who overcame that addiction never actually miss out anything? or you think that they survive even though they miss out? 

Your mind and brain and body are used to getting that fix from porn and masturbation and thats why you think you will miss it. 
the truth is that once you can get off of these things for a while, your system will slowly reset and you will not NEED to do any of these things anymore. 

Of course its not easy, but dont let your mind fool you that you will miss this forever. ITS FALSE!

Thank you all for your wisdom!
I am happy to be back with a clean day and hope to keep this ad meah ve'esrim without FOMO. Not forgetting the ODAAT klal.

Day 2 clean.Have a good shabbos!

Gut Voch. Day 3 clean. Had a big urge to masturbate but thank god it passed.

Failed to masturbation. Had an urge to act out and I did. I would mention that I did have a taava to call one of the phone numbers which I was able to hold myself back on. So far I haven't been able to get a clean week in I hope that doesn't mean I never will be able to!

Sorry to hear of your fall (you get credit for squaring your chin and reporting the fall).

Now, get back on the monstuh truck!

Did you call Yiftach, redfaced, or HHM when you had your urges?

If you didn’t, that’s a change you can make going forward to build off this fall.

Staying connected with the oilam is the way to beat this beast….

With brotherly love,
Muttel

Day 1 clean. As bein hazmanim creeps in and i probably will spend my days more out than in yeshiva (teivas noach!) i pray to hashem to help me control myself from looking at things i shouldn't be, making the battle of mz''l a much easier battle.

So happy to be here reporting a clean day on m making it day 2. I will mention that I've been out today and found myself looking at things for more than a first glance (or to be honest consciously looking). I did have some decently strong urges to m but thank god i didn't act out.
I do find that on days I don't accomplish much spiritually (such as not cracking a book!) or even non-spiritual things, I don't feel happy with myself and that brings to urges to act out.

classic yetzer hara move...

Hey Buddy,

Just wanna share something I heard tonight from the great HHM bsheim the Steipler Zt"l.

He said that he wants to kiss the hand of someone that fought off an urge/taiva 1000 times. Note, he did not say 'someone that's clean for 1000 days', he said 'that was misgaber 1000 times'. 

Keep on fighting one urge/day at a time, you'll surely make it to 1000! 

Keep soaring! 

Yiftach'l 

Day 3 to M clean. Regarding P its been a weak clean.
I do need a bit of chizuk from the oilam, whenever I am on the street and have a opportunity to look (or to be precise, with a p, an opportunity to not look) I don't fight and rather look. So my YH tells me your no shaychis because your not battling to the fullest extent. At one point he will say sin because your no shaychis. He didn't try that on me yet but I want you guys help to prepare me with an answer.
Thanks and can't wait to hear back from you!

Just because you looked doesn't necessarily mean that you didn't fight.

BenHashemBH wrote on 07 Aug 2024 21:59:

And if I didn't fight at that point? What about the cleaness on M