Fall this morning 

notezy wrote on 24 Jul 2024 20:25:

Brother NotEzy, who do you have to talk to?
Talking to HHM once a month is beautiful. Have you considered talking to one or more people more frequently, perhaps 1-2 times a week?
When your life is positive, it helps you fight the urges. But what if the falls are making it more difficult to find yourself? It's a catch 22 and you may need to break that cycle by, as you say "embracing the suck" long enough to catch your breath and focus.

It hurts to see you taking hit after hit and it's a real inspiration that you stay standing every time. Praying for you to find what you need.
Kol tov

Thats somthing to try contacting people more often even ehen thing go well but I don't always get through

I am not posting daily anymore because I decided not to count the days for now like I said in an earlier post
but I think I might try doing some updates every once in a while aside from marking when I have a fall...
so anyways despite the fall I had this morning things are good. 
Trying to think of what I could talk about "fall" I saw someone using it on here and adopted it into my own vocabulary to replace "ending streak" I found it helpfull switching these words to reframe "falls" and it's part of what I have used to be less emotionally drained by the battle and the falls is one of my tools to help me bounce back quicker. I know it sounds like such a simple little thing but I thought I would share it.

Had a fall today. I finally got a call back from dov today. We talked it was worth it. Have a good shabbos.

Another fall last night

And a fall this afternoon 

Fall

Reb Notezy,
not to be rude or anything cv, but i think you need help. Fast.
What makes you fall almost every day? i feel terrible just reading about a fall every other day. 
if you need adivse or help, a lot of us are eager to help. But you gotta come out of your shell and talk to us.

good luck bro.

Taking a break from even posting falls on here to refelect on why I am doing this I have talked with dov I think I am going to still be in touch but I am going to try to follow what yields best results and this ain't it anymore I still might pop in if tmi have what to share that will help me... like I notice I have streets under more control but sometimes make the mistake of forgetting thst vigilance in my own home with devices.