notezy wrote on 16 Jun 2024 17:50:

I don't mean to be mean, but if posting about your falls biweekly isn't helping, might be time to up your game. The help is there - sometimes you have to chase it in the beginning. I know you posted about not being able to reach some people that you wanted to, but you dont want to continue like this either. May be worth trying a time or 3 again to reach some of the Amazing GYE's here who can try to help you get to be the person you so badly want to be

Lol irony is he sent me an email tonight asking me about somthing and then I called him to respond and finally got ahold of him. Do I talked with for a minute.
set out a new plan working on shmiras anyim on the phone anyways i need to call more people and get in contact with more fellows i know a few but it's really only like 2 or 3 that I ever call and really only 1 that I follow up with. 

Anyways i am charting a new path in life in all areas i am trying to change more then my actions but my headspace so it will take time.

still not closing the door on 12 steps I still havent called dov yet.. 

Hey brother, im sorry to hear of your struggles. i'ts cool to hear your strategies in overcoming the struggles and staying on top of your game.

it ain't too late to get in touch w new guys (in my opinion that is), if you feel like you can gain from reaching out, you can try me at horizonstein@gmail.com

there is light on the
horizon

Oh....

Friends are great.

Weird off topic question but:
Someone recently recommended to me I try out yoga for health reasons.. does anyone know where I can find good instructional videos that are kosher preferably an app because I don't have youtube anymore... 

I did find one place online that has a male instructor. its called manflowyoga

manflowyoga.com/

chancy wrote on 18 Jun 2024 15:02:

 I found the same one but am still waiting for my filter to approve the app so I could check it out further. 

Update: From what I can see so far, all the videos are with the man. Whether or not women might appear in any of his videos . . . you'll have to be mindful. Hatzlacha!

Okay I'll check it out thanks 

I had a fall this morning when I woke up

But then I had a victory a bit later in a similar situation which makes me feel better that I could rectify my mistakes in a sense.  And before that I reminded myself that a fall doesn't devalue the success.  And the emotional state matters... to continue the fight 

I hope u have a wonderful day. U beautiful people.

Fell this afternoon again. 

I think I am almost certain I would say I am but I don't like to deal in absolutes that my problem lies in the fact that the moment I get my life in order and believe I have it that feeling of u know where u are going and belive you can is what I lack and always worried I lacked the second I get that sh*t in order I will have a real chance to make monumental success the self asteem that I lack is a symptom of this problem and always has been. Their are also the social issues that need work but I consider that part of the road I need to travel to get to a point of believing I can succeed. The Cynicism is a symptom of it all as well. What I have failed to say concisely all this time is that these strategies haven't lead to long term success past a month or 2 of getting 5 and 10 days because their is that underlying problem. I don't think tharpy will help me more then speaking to my rabbis who have given my guidence because the rabbis can help me in a more actionable way then a tharpist for example helping me find a job. I am not saying I won't go to tharpy after talking with my rabbi I think that will be reserved more for dealing more with issues from childhood before marrige.... so the one thing I am relizing once I get my life in order (which is a tall order ) this will lead to a feeling of I can achive somthing of value and that feeling has never really existed in my life since high-school...  these are my reflection I had while talking to @eerie but I have had them a long time here is my way of expressing them 

One other thing I forgot we also talked about. 

When speaking about Motivation it is important to define.
so in my case genrally when I say I am motivated  I mean i have a Desire not  Inspiration. 
My inspiration can burnout my desire my determination is here to stay. I have a desire for long term success.
i think it is a very important part of the life i want to lead.

I had a fall this morning 

Hi @notezy, you're awesome, staying connected to here, on top of the situation for yourself, sharing. 

Sorry if I missed your explanation earlier, but when you have falls, is that with p..n? If yes, do you have access to unfiltered, or poorly filtered internet? If yes, what can you do about blocking that? 

About therapy, I also used to think - what can a therapist help? But it is wrong. These are ppl who work all day to figure out how and why we act, and learn tools to help. Therapy can help tons!! And if you are missing some of the drive or motivation, that should be addressed in therapy.

Do you know your options for therapy?