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Nothing to lose

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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

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TOPIC: Nothing to lose 5717 Views

Re: Nothing to lose - Update 36.1 18 Mar 2024 18:28 #410331

notezy Current streak: 1 day OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 485 Karma: 12	Finished chapter 19 of the TBOTG today.
	"Excuses are the tools of incompetence" -My Friends Friend. "Change will lead to insight far more often than insight will lead to change" -Milton H. Erickson

Re: Nothing to lose - Update 37 19 Mar 2024 06:53 #410357

notezy Current streak: 1 day OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 485 Karma: 12	Start of day 2: tonight I got a friend's wedding which can be a risk but I know this going in so I am prepared mentally for the fight.
	"Excuses are the tools of incompetence" -My Friends Friend. "Change will lead to insight far more often than insight will lead to change" -Milton H. Erickson

Re: Nothing to lose 19 Mar 2024 10:40 #410359

proudyungerman Current streak: 234 days OFFLINE Gold Boarder Posts: 310 Karma: 21	What about practically? Is there anything you can do to minimize the risk/challenge?
	Feel free to reach out and say hi! proudyungerman@gmail.com 406-219-8398 Check out my stories: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/406231-The-Real-Me guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/409689-My-Journey-to-True-Intimacy

Re: Nothing to lose 19 Mar 2024 13:19 #410365

notezy Current streak: 1 day OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 485 Karma: 12	Well ya practically comes when I am there which is to stay on the right side of the mechitzah and not look the other way. is their anything I am missing here?
	"Excuses are the tools of incompetence" -My Friends Friend. "Change will lead to insight far more often than insight will lead to change" -Milton H. Erickson

Re: Nothing to lose 19 Mar 2024 14:12 #410369

DeletedUser1211
OFFLINE
Gold Boarder
Posts: 308
Karma: 24

Well ya practically comes when I am there which is to stay on the right side of the mechitzah and not look the other way.

is their anything I am missing here?Pack a sefer (or a game, whatever works) for dead time when you might be more tempted. For example, the "wait for the chassan and kallah to mosy down to the chuppa" dead time when you're just sitting there and there's no mechitza. Great time to say some tehillim instead of spacing out and watching the women.

Pick where you sit carefully. Don't hang out and schmooze in places which are easier to slip into lusting. It's basic biology that a woman dancing will catch your eye - set it up so you won't be in place to see that.

We are not the same people we once were. We are not so locked into our urges that we have no choice. We can choose to give in or choose to win this battle today. We do not want to give in, the pleasure of giving in is false.
With Hashem on our side our victory is inevitable; the only way we can lose is by giving up on playing the game.

Re: Nothing to lose 19 Mar 2024 14:42 #410373

cande
OFFLINE
Platinum Boarder
Posts: 548

chooseurname wrote on 19 Mar 2024 14:12:

Pack a sefer (or a game, whatever works) for dead time when you might be more tempted. For example, the "wait for the chassan and kallah to mosy down to the chuppa" dead time when you're just sitting there and there's no mechitza. Great time to say some tehillim instead of spacing out and watching the women.

Pick where you sit carefully. Don't hang out and schmooze in places which are easier to slip into lusting. It's basic biology that a woman dancing will catch your eye - set it up so you won't be in place to see that.

in short, stay home!

guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/405526-Re-MY-STORY-sexual-abuse-bouchrim-fun--marriageporn#405526

Last Edit: 19 Mar 2024 14:42 by cande.

Re: Nothing to lose - Update 37.1 19 Mar 2024 20:29 #410410

notezy Current streak: 1 day OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 485 Karma: 12	On the way back from the wedding now. Stayed clean kept busy didn't even think about the Nashim. Was to busy arguing with someone about ziomism, freewill and religion and saying hi to friends and when I had free-time I read chapter 19 of TBOTG. Overall good outcome. Goodnight. Day 2 almsot over.
	"Excuses are the tools of incompetence" -My Friends Friend. "Change will lead to insight far more often than insight will lead to change" -Milton H. Erickson

Re: Nothing to lose - Update 38 20 Mar 2024 07:21 #410437

notezy Current streak: 1 day OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 485 Karma: 12	Start day 3.
	"Excuses are the tools of incompetence" -My Friends Friend. "Change will lead to insight far more often than insight will lead to change" -Milton H. Erickson

Re: Nothing to lose - Update 38.1 20 Mar 2024 18:01 #410481

notezy Current streak: 1 day OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 485 Karma: 12	Tonight got a little harder then usual so I am just riding out the clock.
	"Excuses are the tools of incompetence" -My Friends Friend. "Change will lead to insight far more often than insight will lead to change" -Milton H. Erickson

Re: Nothing to lose - Update 39 21 Mar 2024 08:21 #410508

notezy Current streak: 1 day OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 485 Karma: 12	Cruising into day 4. I hope everyone has any easy fast. I wanted to note i missed reading TBOTG last night it was a big chapter. Just last time I fell i skipped it a few days so i dont want to make the same mistake of getting out of the mindset.
	"Excuses are the tools of incompetence" -My Friends Friend. "Change will lead to insight far more often than insight will lead to change" -Milton H. Erickson

Re: Nothing to lose - Update 39 22 Mar 2024 08:38 #410596

notezy Current streak: 1 day OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 485 Karma: 12	I ended day 4 with a fall however it was only in shmiras anyim and I stopped myself before anything else and it was a real struggle going to sleep with the thought but I managed and now I am here day 1 starting over.
	"Excuses are the tools of incompetence" -My Friends Friend. "Change will lead to insight far more often than insight will lead to change" -Milton H. Erickson

Re: Nothing to lose - Update 40 24 Mar 2024 20:54 #410647

notezy Current streak: 1 day OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 485 Karma: 12	Ending day 3 so much prituzus in my area on purim but I didn't look as much as I could. Kept busy had a great purim getting to bed now. Goodnight.
	"Excuses are the tools of incompetence" -My Friends Friend. "Change will lead to insight far more often than insight will lead to change" -Milton H. Erickson

Re: Nothing to lose - Update 41 25 Mar 2024 17:18 #410668

notezy Current streak: 1 day OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 485 Karma: 12	Day 4 its been hard the beginning of today I think because I was surrounded with people complaining about the pritzus around them yesterday and it made me feel a bit to comfortable in the struggle. I eneded up working all day so I didn't have to worry so much about it till now.
	"Excuses are the tools of incompetence" -My Friends Friend. "Change will lead to insight far more often than insight will lead to change" -Milton H. Erickson

Re: Nothing to lose - Update 41 25 Mar 2024 18:24 #410669

DeletedUser1211 OFFLINE Gold Boarder Posts: 308 Karma: 24	Yeah, sometimes people protest too much and it's really just an opportunity to chazer over. Focus on yesterday's win and try to move on. Keep on trucking!
	We are not the same people we once were. We are not so locked into our urges that we have no choice. We can choose to give in or choose to win this battle today. We do not want to give in, the pleasure of giving in is false. With Hashem on our side our victory is inevitable; the only way we can lose is by giving up on playing the game.

Re: Nothing to lose - Update 42 26 Mar 2024 06:41 #410691

notezy Current streak: 1 day OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 485 Karma: 12	Found a hole in the wall and Fell 2 times I am going to block it now
	"Excuses are the tools of incompetence" -My Friends Friend. "Change will lead to insight far more often than insight will lead to change" -Milton H. Erickson