just continue, even small baby steps as long as it's in the right direction!!

Hello, all.

I am grateful to Hashem for another day clean of pornography and masturbation. Here's to another!

Day Count: 36 Days
No 'P' Count: 48 Days
Cumulative Count: 1706 Days

Good morning, all.

I am grateful for another day free of pornography and masturbation. I thought about masturbation last night. I wouldn't really call it a struggle. It was more like, 'should I?... ... No.' The end. Part of the reason it was so easy to say 'no' is because I continue to post here on this forum, count my days free of masturbation, and communicate with accountability partners. 

Day Count: 37 Days
No 'P' Count: 49 Days
Cumulative Count: 1707 Days

Hello, all.

I am grateful to Hashem for another day clean of pornography and masturbation. Fifty days without pornography! Prayers for a meaningful and intentional Shabbos and Tisha B'av and סיעתא דשמיא for continued courage to stay clean and free of unwanted sexual behaviors.

Day Count: 38 Days
No 'P' Count: 50 Days
Cumulative Count: 1708 Days

Good morning, all.

I am very grateful to Hashem for another week and weekend clean and free of pornography and masturbation. With Hashem's help, I will continue to post here for accountability, reach out to my accountability partners, update my day count, and avoid leisurely Internet  both unfiltered and filtered when I am alone--my biggest trigger.

Day Count: 41 Days
No 'P' Count: 53 Days
Cumulative Count: 1711 Days

Hello, all.

Accountability post. Grateful for another clean day.

Day Count: 42 Days
No 'P' Count: 54 Days
Cumulative Count: 1712 Days

Good morning, everyone.

Another accountability post. 

Day Count: 43 Days
No 'P' Count: 55 Days
Cumulative Count: 1713 Days

Hello, all.

I have shared several times that I need to stay away from recreational Internet use. In line with what is shared on this forum and in other GYE resources, staying away from something is a סור מרע, it isn't an ועשה טוב. Part of my continued growth is to work on my expectations for ועשה טוב.

When I am feeling energetic with an inner peace, it is easy for me to find healthy and affirming things to fill my time. On the other hand, after a long workday, with no time to myself, high stress, and a decades-long overreliance on TV, video games, and Internet as an easy go to, it is harder to see myself partaking in a healthy activity. Two nights this week I couldn't imagine myself doing anything else other than sitting in front of my laptop screen. Sad... But in one case, I redirected myself to the גמרא (a feat only possibly because I needed to prepare for a shiur) and another, I redirected myself to listening to music.

My goal for the next week is to plan in advance with a חשבון הנפש type session. If I know that I will have unstructured time at a certain time, what am I going to do?

Day Count: 44 Days
No 'P' Count: 56 Days
Cumulative Count: 1714 Days