Daily post. Sticking to the plan.

Day #41

Daily post. I am not concerned, at this point, that a 'fall' is going to happen. I just need to make sure that I keep my guard up and stick to my plan, so that I don't go down the wrong the path that eventually leads to a 'fall'. Have a great day, everyone!

Day #42

Checking in with another daily post.

Day #43

Daily post. Yesterday, was a challenging day for various reasons. Viewing pornography and masturbating as an escape crossed my mind a few times. During those brief moments, I said to myself "what kind of person do I want to be?" That usually isn't enough to overcome, but yesterday it was and I think it is because in addition to talking myself out of it, I also:

• Davened to Hashem twice for help
• Posted a daily post on GYE
• Texted our mentor HHM
• Didn't use my work computer for anything unrelated to my job

Proud of myself that I am sticking to my plan. Talking myself out of using pornography and masturbation as an escape is easier when I have my guard up.

Day #44

Daily post. I'm halfway there to 90 days!

Day #45

Starting off the work week with a GYE check in.

Day #48

Day #49

Day #50

Yippee!

Now you're half way to 100

שבע יפול צדיק וקם wrote on 03 Apr 2024 13:31:

Amazing! Keep it up!

Missed you yesterday. Is everything ok, buddy?

proudyungerman wrote on 05 Apr 2024 13:29:

Very okay! Thanks for the outreach.

Day #52

Yesterday was day 58 and I fell. It was a one and done, not a rapid-fire fall day. I am proud of myself for getting to day 58. I hadn't gotten that far for a long time.

Biggest Success
My biggest achievement from these last two months was my hiatus from YouTube. I used to basically start my day on it. Let the suggestions carry me through an hour or more of watching. As I described in the past, that would eventually lead me to seeing something that would eventually lead me to seeing the dark corners of the Internet followed by a fall. Not only has that not happened over the last two months, but I have spent more time on work, home responsibilities. Proud to say, that I've learned more Torah in the last two months than I have since I was in Kollel. That hiatus is not going away anytime soon.

What Happened?
What happened yesterday? The day before, there was some high stress and tension in my home. I didn't get a lot of sleep. I took a break from work to try and get more rest. Had an urge. Tried to move on from the urge. Ended up not resisting and falling.

Plan
I am going to stick to my same plan as last time. It seemed to work. The only difference is what happens when I do have an intense urge. What do I do in that case? Realistically, I think the most likely thing is for me to post on this thread that I am having an urge and that I will post again to share that I am overcame the urge. My plan is to remind myself of that part of the plan in my regular updates on this thread. Something like, "Sticking to my plan. Not letting my guard down. Just in case I have an urge, I plan to post about it here for accountability."

Here's to day 58 and beyond! Have a great Shabbos, everyone!

58 days is amazing!
Just a comment - I see that you let go on your daily posting leading up to the fall. If that's something that was helpful then keep it up! 

58, and a fall without binging, and having the ability to reach out right away, are all cause for celebration.