i think I can probably do another 30 minutes.

24+24+15 hours and 20 minutes!!!

Be'ezras hashem, with shabbos soon, I should be clean untill sunday. ANd B"H I will finnaly have some sort of supervision. Which comes at expense of GYE itself (although it would definitely be a good idea for me to spend a few hours less on here, esepecialy when no-one is posting anything.

That's great! We'll miss you on GYE, but I think the trade-off is worth it. Come back when you can, with great news on every level!

24+24+24+19

Had a pretty good shabbos, and i'm doing well. I lost access to the laptop, and can only use public terminals.  Although also late at night when no-one is up.

I used to be a good friend ofn the Yezter Hara so I when I went to his house I saw what his plans are. He told me he is going to try to keep you up fpr two reasons: 1) You'll have unfiltered internet access and 2) tommorrow is the FIRST DAY OF ADAR and he wants you depressed for it instead of happy. There, I have told you his plan now its time to counter it with some defense.

I tried disquising myself, but he's hot on my trail.

Mybe if I tried fabricating a new identity.... but then GUARD mey get upset.

Ok so I had a small fall yesturday afternoon. But I got-up pretty quick, especialy with the night seder I made. All those goyim where creeped out. I was learning a blatt gemara, tune and all, and the occasional comment in english...and the room had a haunting echo. 

So while people walked through the room, they either ran-out, or tried to stand in a place that I couldn't see them, and just stood there perplexed. It was kinda fun, in a ruchniusdik way.

Well I gotta start spending alittle less time on GYE, before i break even gueard's record for time spent online. I have always wondered how it works, since it obviosly doesn't count the time my username is logged in?

And is anyone is wondering about the identity crisis I am going through, It started with a prank (posing as someone from 'across the mechitza') and then i got so into-it that I just kept switching it.  I got bored of it, and I realy like my new pic, so I think I'll slow down for now.

It's good to know who we are...

yeh the 'tallest kid in the class'! 

I got my 'head in the clouds'

Gimme some time, but I plan on reworking on the 12 steps again.  But I am realy starting to get convinced that my terrible addiction has died-down to a bad case of slips. true my level of slips involves some pretty bad stuff, and I can bypass a large spectrum of nissyonos, to choose the realy bad one, but I still, Im wondering how much of this is ADDICTION, and how much is habbit.and nissyonos?

I know 90% of you are gonna dissagree, but I sincerely want to hear the tzdadim why I am wrong.

I think we all go through this..."am I really addicted? Nah, it's just a nisayon, I can beat this, no problem, I just need to try harder..."

(Cut scene to a few months later) I can do this, i really can, just need to try harder...I'm not addicted, though, I can stop anytime I want!

Seriously, though...whether it's a technical addiction? It's always hard to say, but let's take a look at a few of the criteria used to define addiction in the DSM-IV (used to diagnose psychological disorders). Well, actually, they don't use the term addiction - they use the terms "abuse" and "dependence." Now, we might not match all the criteria, or not perfectly, but when you start seeing some similarities, it should be enough to make us stop and think. Keep in mind, that these criteria are talking about physical substances, but i think that parallels can be drawn.

Here are the criteria for substance abuse - any ONE of these is enough to qualify:


1. Recurrent substance use resulting in a failure to fulfill major role obligations at work, school, or home (such
as repeated absences or poor work performance related to substance use; substance-related absences,
suspensions, or expulsions from school; or neglect of children or household).
2. Recurrent substance use in situations in which it is physically hazardous (such as driving an automobile or
operating a machine when impaired by substance use)
3. Recurrent substance-related legal problems (such as arrests for substance related disorderly conduct)
4. Continued substance use despite having persistent or recurrent social or interpersonal problems caused or
exacerbated by the effects of the substance (for example, arguments with spouse about consequences of
intoxication and physical fights).


I think we can all relate to #4, for sure. 1 & 3 on a smaller level, perhaps, as well. So substance abuse certainly applies to us, it would seem.

Now take a look at the criteria for substance dependence. One needs 3 or more of these to qualify for a full-fledged dependence diagnosis:

1. Tolerance, as defined by either of the following:
(a) A need for markedly increased amounts of the substance to achieve intoxication or the desired effect
or
(b) Markedly diminished effect with continued use of the same amount of the substance.
2. Withdrawal, as manifested by either of the following:
(a) The characteristic withdrawal syndrome for the substance
or
(b) The same (or closely related) substance is taken to relieve or avoid withdrawal symptoms.
3. The substance is often taken in larger amounts or over a longer period than intended.
4. There is a persistent desire or unsuccessful efforts to cut down or control substance use.
5. A great deal of time is spent in activities necessary to obtain the substance, use the substance, or recover
from its effects.
6. Important social, occupational, or recreational activities are given up or reduced because of substance use.
7. The substance use is continued despite knowledge of having a persistent physical or psychological problem
that is likely to have been caused or exacerbated by the substance (for example, current cocaine use
despite recognition of cocaine-induced depression or continued drinking despite recognition that an ulcer
was made worse by alcohol consumption).


I think that most of can at least relate soewhat to #4,5, and 6, right?

the old GYE site has a direct link to "am I an S-- addict" on the top of thr QandA page.

Honestly I get addicted to whatever technological thing I choose. I can hook myself on video games, and have all those addiction related problems, I can hook myself on TV to the extent that i almost starve! I never realy watched movies, but I am sure I would be able to do the same. Right now I am using GYE as my newfound addiction, to dull my mind to the TVs Movies, ____ acess, goyish library, anf more in the very room that I am using this terminal.  it's all here, and a mere 35 second walk away.    SO I this new addiction (blogging on gYE) is somewhat brought upon myself volentarily.

I am a born addict, in my matzav I was very succeptible to falling into any addiction, and was therefor very carefull to never touch  ANY alcohol, pain killers, perscription drugs, over-the counter drugs, or anything else.  But the YH succeded in getting me hooked on ____, and steared all my addiction prone triggers into it!    So Thus, i am not so sure that p___ is my issue. it may simply be the dulling sensation that computers and TV provide. 

What's your take on this.  And seroisly speaking, my time on GYE has reached an addiction, and that's why I have posted to try stopping it, a few times.

how are you defining addiction, as it pertains to GYE? Check the criteria, and draw the paralells? Remember, there are healthy activities that we do that take up a lot of time, that's not an addiction.

http://www.no-porn.com/test.html
from the facts page of guardureyes.com
There are all answered yes, in connection with my addiction to blogging on this forum (I don't blog ANYWHERE else). Now I also had this problem with P____ itself. Just that thses addictive behavures seem to have applied themselves to my blogging (I've been foolong around alot more than reading or giving chizuk)
   When you have child care responsibilities, do you put a higher priority on masturbating or being sexual than you do on the welfare of the child(ren) in your care?

     Does your blogging interfere with making zemanei hatefillah and learning your sedarim? [original question makes no sence in this context]

   Does it seem as though there is another person or force inside of you that drives you to blogging?
 
   Do you fail to meet commitments or fail to carry out responsibilities because of your involvement with blogging?


* wasn't trying to be comical this time. I am just trying to show how my addictive behavure gets me hooked an any electronic means of getting that 'dull' 'whitewashed' feeling.\


*needed a place to jot-down a note צדוק בן יעקב הכהן רבינוביץ**

Being honest, I have tried to evaluate which parts of this questionare apply to where I am holding NOW. Based on my slips over the last few weeks. I will tryto censor them alittle.

Do you struggle to control or completely stop your thinking about or viewing p___? no more thinking issue at all B"H
Does it seem as though there is another person or force inside of you that drives you to p____? duh
Do you feel empty or shameful after viewing or HZ"L using p____?
Have you ever promised yourself that you would never again view p____?
Do you anxiously anticipate or fear trips out of town because of what you think you might do sexually while you're away? sadly so, B"H never did
Do you scan printed material (novels, newspapers, magazines) or change channels on the television set just to find something that will stimulate your tayvas nashim? doing so is a fall for me, but i still have to deal with that Y"H. I fell into it yesturday!

I found this great article from R Twersky on http://www.guardureyes.com/GUE/RTwerski/Can'tStop.asp

.....Other than try to stop and pray etc, what has this young man done to make essential changes in his character? That’s where one should begin.

I attended an AA meeting where the speaker was celebrating his 20th year of sobriety. He began by saying, “The man I once was, drank. And the man I once was, will drink again” (but the man I am today, will not). Alcoholics who have not had a drink for many years but have not overhauled their character are “dry drunks” and will often drink again. The same is true for sexual addiction.

How does one become a different person? By working diligently on improving one’s character traits. Learning how to manage anger, to rid oneself of resentments, to overcome hate, to be humble, to be considerate of others, to be absolutely honest in all one’s affairs, to admit being wrong, to overcome envy, to be diligent and overcome procrastination. In short, one should take the Orchos Tzaddikim (I’m sure it’s available in English), and go down the list of character traits, strengthening the good one’s and trying to eliminate the bad ones. This does not happen quickly.



When one has transformed one’s character and has become a different person, one will find that this “new person” can accomplish things that the old person could not.

Wow, someone is actually going through every link on our freekin site. Hey, when was the last time anyone ever did that?