GUARD, i was once suppossedly on it. but i couldn't update it for 2 weeks. so i never saw if i was put on or not. but I think my screenname is reserved (by me). and the site keeps telling me that my email is in use.

I need some help getting myself on the chart.

and to everybody else.    cheer me on!!!!    cmon. i can't hear you!!!    chizuk people, i want to make you all proud, believe in me!!!!    daven for me!

oh here is my story www.guardureyes.com/GUE/OurStories/Determined4.asp          and            www.guardyoureyes.org/?p=1978 

I alerted the 90-day-admin-Gabai to help you.

ok its probably not really chizuk, but i want to let u know that i just finish reading ur story and it sounded extremly familiar... then i remembered!!!!!!!!!!: ur story was one of the frst, porbalby even the mamesh first one, that i read when i found gue. its ur story that made me register for an account. i though to myself: omg, what he went through... mamesh gehinom!!! yet, hes posting and recovering, and healing... i also can do this... i think  u  have a part in my zchuyos that im here, now 11 days clean. KUTGW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wow!  geez thanks.

that does help me feel better. i know that Someone quoted my 2nd story to some rosh yeshiva in EY. particularly the part about "bathroom breaks" (I think it was my story). But regardles, I get a good feeling knowing that my mistakes are michazeik other people. At least someone's gaining from them  ;D.

Well Shovavim kicked off, and i hope to find that time tonight to give GUARD an 'ACE'. there's a great R Tzadok on SA and Addiction. yes I found a clear and open source.

Were here to help and cheer you on.  Keep up the good work!!

Although i am sorely lacking 'mei chattas'. And I would definitely be a matzorah muchlat, I'm not tamei from tumas keri!

4 days clean ppls, without having to rationalize svaros like Rov, Mitkzas, He'Ir Mizrach, "Uva hashemesh Vitaheir (berachos 2a)" . OK the last one is pretty cheap. But still, I am 4 days clean! And i did it the right way, one half hour at a time. Like when i had to shower, "for the next half hour I'm not going to do anything I shouldn't do during shovivim". then in the bathroom "just fifteen kosher minutes and then i'll feed my lust". And B"H that my Y"H is OCD/ADD/ADHD, because when his time comes he's already long gone.  :D

I actually saw this vort about ka'as. In the 'Sifsei Chayim' (middos, ka'as). that a person can't "not get angry". you don't rtealy have much of a choice in determining your emotions. but what you can do is choose to "be angry" in 15 minutes, even if untill then you will still be 'mildly peeved'.  And after a while, your 15 minutes will get longer, while at the same time your Y"H will diminish.

let's hear the applause, oh and KG, i'll send you my info as soon as the 'wall gabai' gets it to me.

Welcome SE, welcome. First saw you 2day in the 7 Up Sushi Bar, now closed and locked up.

Sorry that your well meaning point was not well taken. I picked up the ball on my thread, tho, see me on my journal. I'm not purporting any side, just asking people for their thoughts and feelings in a Kovodike way. It pays to be VERY CAREFUL how things are worded, so as to offend no one.

I'm mostly looking for a working solution so everyone here can still benefit from each other and give chizuk to each other. Sometimes the chizuk the other gender needs is just to know they have friends who care about them, so the conversation gets off of direct "chizuk" topics and moves into "showing understanding." Also, I think some of the guys are a little jealous of the easy banter and relationships the girls have, cuz in the real world guys don't share like that, and they want to be in on it. They are well-meaning, and haver benefitted each other so much, that they are VERY defensive of their positions, as they should be.

There is a fine line of how to apply the halacha in any given situation. That's why we have Rabbonim. I'm sure Reb Guard has his Posek who understands the level of those who come here and their needs for understanding. We can not take on a Taliban approach. But we do have to protect the site from Kaalos Rosh where possible.

One more point: As we learn in the strategies to get free from a lust urge, experts have mentioned to stop thinking about the specific person we are looking at as a s*x object, but as a human being. Think about her as a person, feel her pain. Those screen performers are someone's daughter. How far from her parent's love she must be. How lowly she must hold of herself to do these things. And then to project that though process on every female we meet - to think about them on a higher plane, as a person with hopes and dreams and struggles just like us.

We have an opportunity here at GYE to develop that care and concern for the neshama of each other, no matter what their gender is. I think every younger man on this forum will make a better husband one day because of how he is treating the young ladies on this forum today.

This may not be the "tow-the-line" opinion of the "Lakewood-Ponvesz" mentality, (which for example forbade girls to walk outside on Leil Shabbos in Kiryat Sefer because boys walk to learning then), which is good for those who choose it but not necessarily healthy for everyone. Diracheha DarCHEI Noam, there are many Torah-true paths to HKB"H. We need to love and respect EVERY Jew, and lovingly guide those who are not bnei Torah onto one of those paths. Yiddishkeit was never meant to be all black & white  - we need to give them plenty of colorful options in the Torah camp.

OK, I'm getting off my soap box now.

Glad you are aboard, tho, please believe me.

Have a GREAT Night!!!

the medrash tanchuma has a realy short piece by the parsha of Yaakov VS Lavan , when he left beis lavan. I don't own a copy, and I can't recall the exact lashon. but the medrash exclaims how when yaakov used such powerfull arguments, and faught a war of words which will later play themselves out in the time of the chashmonaim, even so Lavan took NO offense,  zero, notin.  I think the lashon was "Gadolah Tochchat Ha'Avot Mipiyus habanim" .                I tend to do exactly the same.... oh did I say that, I meant the opposite.  You know how chazal say, smol marchik, viyemin mekareiv , well I'm sort of a lefty with my right arm in a sling. 

So i'm not gonna argue tznius, or harchakos with you, I made enough machlokes today  :-X .  But I do not necessarily agree. yes we are supposed to all be shomer einayim, and not need segregation laws to keep our eyes to ourselves. But WE have still got a way to go, and there will always be those people who are still working up to it. So be considerate of places like New Square (Skver) where they have opposite sides to the street (and R"L i've bumped into 4 zonos walking on the wrong side, sheesh, they said it was the men's side!  :o the pritzus!! ). No but seriously Skver is a vacation when it comes to shmiras einayim, but normally i'm fine anywhere but manhattan (where there is a constant and eternl flow of pritzus...there is nothing to do but close your eyes constantly!)

I may be a kanaiy, but I'm still balanced enough to seek normality

Hey I'm still waiting for the wall gabai to do something!!

in the meantime, I saved him the trouble. I messed up big time. I need to work harder in the 12 steps, among other things.
Hi my name is %$#  @#$%$#$%^ and I'm a SA, Hello ____ . Ive been clean for 14, 15, 16, 17 ,18 seconds...... just kidding I mean 2 hours

Hey SE,

It's good to be strong and hold your ground, while not letting that interfere with other people's personal growth levels. For some people having some anonymous girl tell them once in a while GO SO AND SO!! is a billion degrees batter than what they were doing, this is a step up for them... Remember Rabbi Dessler's nikudas habechira... Everyone here has a different nekudas habechira and no one is on the same one as you.

We need to be az kanamer

az means strong tough and resilient, being able to dig in and stick it out as we see in this passuk    עַל-כֵּן הִכָּם אַרְיֵה מִיַּעַר זְאֵב עֲרָבוֹת יְשָׁדְדֵם נָמֵר שֹׁקֵד עַל-עָרֵיהֶם כָּל-הַיּוֹצֵא מֵהֵנָּה יִטָּרֵף
where the namer is the one that stalks the city holding his ground defiantly

BUT we need to do it like a namer who is called a namer because he is spotted (menumar) camouflaged.. he is able to blend in with his surroundings despite being az in his own life...

Go for it my finely spotted friend!!

maskim, mekabeil.  oH boy am I gonna need to ask mechila when this storm passes. Hopefully there won't be too many more shockwaves. It's funny how this is playing out on so many threads, and I only read a fraction of people's responses to me!

Nobody is arguing with your basic point (that gender separation is important, especially here). People just took issue with the way you presented it. I do agree that the "sister" thing is going a bit far. I do FEEL that way about everyone here, but in the interest of tznius I don't write that way to the girls. Al lright, enough said on this topic. The number one rule on internet forums, for those who don't know, is DON'T FEED THE TROLLS!! :D :D

SE,
I'm not letting you get off the hook so easily.

I'd like a response to one of my posts. I'm copying it here to ensure that you read it.

shemirateinayim wrote on 07 Jan 2010 02:53:


Listen buddy, it's "daas torah" not to use the internet, so why are you online at all?

i'm sorry for any pain that i caused you. yesterday, today, at all.