Woohoo!

For 21 days, I had been clean, and it felt like a major victory. I was finally starting to regain some control over my life and my actions. But recently, I’ve found myself triggered once again, especially when I encounter women or think about past behaviors. I feel like I’m back at square one, and I’m struggling to climb back up from the bottom of the hill I worked so hard to get up. It’s frustrating, disheartening, and overwhelming.

I’m reaching out because I know I can’t handle this on my own. I would appreciate any advice, suggestions, or personal stories from others who have been through similar struggles. What strategies have helped you stay on track, or how have you managed triggers when they seem so overwhelming?

Also, if there’s anything I should avoid or be mindful of in my journey, I’d love to hear about that as well. I want to be better and continue growing, but I feel like I need more support and guidance to make sure I don’t fall back into old patterns.

and now its not so much porn, its the heimisha women and girls that turn me on loke nuts.
PLS PLS HELP HELP HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

its my neighbors, family members, women in stoors, i am post watching porn, but the heimisha women and girls are a bigger trigger for me noe.

pls any advice?

Reach out to some of the mentors here (HHM, Muttel, Eerie, etc.) they have a lot of experience and great suggestions.



What you're experiencing is completely normal

Day 27

Baruch Hashem I feel like I can have more feeling in davening when I try hard to focus on the words. I feel like fixing this yesod has helped.

It's hard though. So easy to just flow with the rushed pace of davening.

Day 29

Baruch Hashem I have a job. Acting out among other things has really impacted my performance but I really feel like I'm on the up and up.

Day 44

Someone at work wrote me a nasty email that hit me really really hard.

More than 44 days ago I think it would have pushed me into a mini blackhole. Instead I drowned my sorrows reading Fablehaven Book 2.

And now I feel like I'm on the other side. Not perfect but it's a start

As an aside, book 2 has some content that I would prefer my kids not read but I'm biased in wanting to read it as well

As an aside to an aside the treadmill has lots of clothing on it (not mine)

Day 45

More difficult work conversations. Baruch Hashem I feel I can ride the urge.

Being mekabel bli neder not to use tech for relax is doing wonders for me

Day 52

Soapbox Moment:

I hope I'm able to express this well.

Sometimes on the site people express Emuna questions...which is within their rights. But I don't see people striving for truth!

We're not in high school anymore if you have a question that's impacting your faith don't just grumble about it do your research. What are you afraid of? You're anyway questioning...and guess what those of us who have really looked into it are happy they were born a jew and don't think being born a goy would be just as good or better.

I have a friend who went off the D and I started talking to him (before my Rebbe told me not to) and quickly realized that he hadn't researched the topics...essentially it boiled down to trusting them more than the rabbis. That's why you're going to throw away everything!?

Don't live in a safek! Acquire truth!

If you're questioning and come this far and wondering where to start...I really like Shaar HaBechina and Shaar Habitachon from the recordings of R' Avigdor Miller on Chovos Halevavos but don't stop there. Explore!

kavey wrote on 02 May 2025 14:02:

A very fair point, there are so many great answers right there waiting to be explored!

You're really fortunate, that for you it's a "given" to trust the rabbis more than "them". For many people, that kind of trust has been shattered for whatever the reason (traumatic experience, deeper emotional/relational issues, disappointment/tragedy etc etc)  and trusting the very people who claim to have the true answers becomes part of the problem....its very hard to crawl out of that kinda mess. 

Because it isn't about questions/answers about the truth, it's about a relationship with the truth.  

I suspect that many "Emunah grumblers" here fit that bill...not necessarily a lack of striving for the truth. 

I guess my point is that the same pedestal one knocked their rabbi off of, one can and should knock them off of when you see how tenuous some of their conclusions are. I think R' Miller helps in that regard. And then can hopefully look at things in a balanced way.

But I hear what you're saying.