Yissie, thanks for clarifying.
I don't think that it does not hurt her at all. By having hirhurei / histaklut barayot, it can cause her to get punished. It can have other spiritual effects..

Another thing, if the person looks in this case, they are training themselves to look at others for physical pleasure and that impacts them, causing them to increase in this bad action, it will most likely end up being also to ppl that they do have a relationship with, who they may be seeing more...
I was writing a different point, how it can cause other harm..

60 days
The furthest I've ever made it (I look forward to writing this line every day now...)

Two months since the last time I viewed porn.
Two months since the last time I masturbated.
Two months since the last time I killed myself on YouTube.

I certainly feel more energized throughout the day. When four o'clock comes around, I don't feel like I need my fix in order to make it through the rest of the day.

So far, סור מרע has proven to be the easier part of the deal. עשה טוב, on the other hand, well, that's a whole 'nother story.
Am I treating my wife and kids better? Somewhat. Is my Davening better? A bit. What about my learning? Hmm.

But now I feel that I have what to work with. As long as I was actively in the pit, I couldn't think about elevating my other areas of deficiency.

עשה טוב, I'm comin for ya.

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congratulations!  So happy for you.  Just remember to focus on the positive.  Small sustainable steps will get you where you want to go!

keep it up!
vehkam

Vehkam wrote on 26 Jun 2022 14:48:

Thank you, Vehkam!
You are a big partner in my journey! 

65 days
The furthest I've ever made it (I look forward to writing this line every day now...)

I had a terrible pornographic dream yesterday; the type that didn't need my hands to finish the job.
By the grace of the Almighty, I woke up just before my body hit the punchline.
In the past, I'd be upset at the aborted show. I'd continue lying with closed eyes, trying to create the rest of the scene on my own.

Oh, no. Not anymore.
I retained it by sheer muscle contraction. Once the red-hot phase of the urge passed, I flew out of bed, and here I am, telling the tale.

Thank you, Hashem, for saving me from the feeling of defeat.
Although I know it wouldn't be considered a "fall", it would still make me feel down.

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70 days
The furthest I've ever made it (I look forward to writing this line every day now...)

The postscript of the congratulations email from GYE always reminds us to celebrate, so I went out and bought myself a full-blown, large-scale, real-life, too-good-to-be-true tuna sandwich.
(Hey, for a cheapskate like me, this itself deserves a celebration.)

I'm just wondering how I can possibly top this when I reach 90 days. I mean, the sky is the limit.
That's gonna be tough.

 Any suggestions would be hugely appreciated.

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connected wrote on 06 Jul 2022 17:16:

Two tuna sandwiches?

I'm crying as I write this...how can anyone possibly celebrate with a tuna sandwich...אוֹי מֶה הָיָה לָנוּ

Just kidding. L'chaim brother! You're awesome and can't wait till I hit 70 days. I will celebrate with 

Lchaim Tovim wrote on 06 Jul 2022 17:28:

Hey, Woah, hold your horses (all of them)!
Two tuna sandwiches?! Ninety days might call for a celebration, but no need to go broke!

You'll pay for them with your GYE coins

app.guardyoureyes.com/shop">app.guardyoureyes.com/shop

74 days
The furthest I've ever made it (I look forward to writing this line every day now...)

Sunday afternoon, 3:15 PM.It's been a stressful day so far.
Shopping.
Waiting in the car while my wife shopped with the kids.
Waiting in the car with the kids while my wife shopped for herself, etc.

Now, my wife went to another store herself.
My son is in Cheder.
My older daughter is at a neighbor. 
My younger daughter is sleeping.
I have about 30 minutes to myself now.
It's an opportunity for the perfect session.
I feel I deserve it, and there are no distractions.

Hashem, you know me better than I know myself. You know that until not too long ago, this whole calculation would be made subconsciously and by now I would've been deep in the midst of stabbing myself yet again.

You opened my eyes, I can now see the truth. I am indebted to you. Many times over.

I give you these 30 minutes.

Hashem, I want to become closer to you.

I want to be connected to you.

connected wrote on 10 Jul 2022 19:41:

Beautiful post!

Wow! Really nice post! Keep it going!!

WOW!! Articulated beautifully! Thanx for the chizuk!

78 days
The furthest I've ever made it (I look forward to writing this line every day now...)

Just checking in.

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82 days
The furthest I've ever made it (I look forward to writing this line every day now...)

I used to open the 90-day chart, and I'd catch a glimpse of the names of great warriors up on top before it zoomed down to my position (usually around three days). After close to three months of what's probably the hardest - and the most rewarding - work I've done, I've made it near the top. Talk about an ego booster.

Now, here's my dilemma, in about eight days, when (not if) I'll click that "I don't have a fall to report" button, I'll be kicked off that prestigious position. Of course, one could argue that I'll be on The Wall Of Honor, which is superior, but I can't help but feel uneasy about the transition.

From a Torah-true perspective, I shouldn't feel this way. Chazal tell us הוי זנב לאריות, ואל תהי ראש לשועלים. But still, it's sorta like after being the oldest in Elementary; we're suddenly demoted to the youngest in High School. Even though HS is for the big boys, you're the youngest all over again. (And the truth is, the members of the 90-day chart are in no way sly Foxes; they're Lions!)

Most people just submit to it. Such is life, and there's nothing we can do to stop the passage of time.
One wise man stood up, and Markz was (still is) his name, and said, "I have an idea! I'll stop updating my counter when I'm up there. The pinnacle will be mine indefinitely!"

And so, Markz set his plan in motion. It's an easy and effective plan. In fact, it's so easy; all you need to do is nothing.
But he made one fatal mistake. He stopped updating at 87 days. That means that two people can outsmart him in his own game.

Markz, I'm coming for you!

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