cordnoy wrote on 15 Aug 2023 17:01:
I don't do so many punishable activities, true. And therefore? Is my only goal here to stay out of hell in the afterlife? What about the hell of not being able to have a healthy relationship with my wife because she doesn't perform like the stars on the screen as I've come to expect? What about the hell of getting mad at my son for calling me from bed because he interrupted my porn search? What about the hell of not being able to have a normal work relationship with a female co-worker because I trained my mind to only see her body? I can go on, but I think you get my point.
True, there's no punishment after death for addiction without acting on it, but I want to live a better life here and now, and as long as I'm in denial, I haven't a chance.
So, am I an addict? No clue. It probably depends on whom I'd ask, but I can't let my inaction fool me.
I hear you.
I don't see this leading me anywhere productive.
I can spend my entire life addicted to lust and suffering its consequences, but from a Jewish perspective, I'm doing great.
Am I doing great, though? Is there a reality where "Jewish perspective" and "life" are separate entities?
Ah, some good ol' philosophizin'.
I have been readin' this back n' forth (as i read everythin') and was tempted to comment several times - thankfully I held back, but this line (bolded above) struck a 'cord,' and it's been a constant theme here, I think. Why is 'Jewish perspective' equated with 'punishment'?
And why is 'livin' life' disassociated from 'Jewish perspective'?
- Punishment - I will steer away from (although i disagree and certainly question some of the assertions mentioned above).
- Jewish perspective - it is difficult for many of us to ignore this, as it is part of our fabric. If your entire life is spent bein' addicted to lust and fantasies involved with that, from a Jewish perspective, you are not doin' great at all (regardless of actions not committed).
- Livin' life - the most important factor for me.
Godspeed
I concur with the Cords. To add in my tuppence, Yiddishkeit is about
Living with the true meaning of what that means.
I will hold back from spewing all sorts of nice Torah sources. But my perspective (from what I have learned) is that the afterlife is
built by the way we live here. Living in agonizing, unrequited, filthy lusting isn't the
LIVING that Hashem put us here to live, and I personally wouldn't want to continue on in some twilight version of that existence forever (וי"א שזהו כף הקלע ואיכמ"ל).
Jewish, human, CHAIM has to be so, so much more. That's what I want. Actually, that's why I chose the username Chaim Oigen - because I want to learn to see what real Chaim - LIVIN' - really is all about...
Sounds to me that you're not in denial. I guess, my friend, the question is: What are you going to do about wanting to start living?
All I can give is a warm hand and empathy, from one who has felt this way.....
Gutten Chodesh....