As a person in the mid 20s I have struggled for some time with wasting seed, the goyim girls didn’t help either and it could be more or less my fault that I am living in a secluded secular city.

WITH GYE I’ve hit a milestone which I thought would be impossible - 3 weeks of staying clean.

Some of you may think it is quite low, and they’re right but to me it is more than that.
My plan now is to go forever this way. My next goal is - never waste again.

I am using a secret weapon - Ice Bath or Cold Showers (and I mean ultra cold water) 

Looking further to Shabbat, someone instructed me it would be kosher only if there is no heat involved and I had to be careful when drying my hair - that means ultra cold from the start - it surely hushes the yetzer hara away together with any thoughts or demons that may lie nearby. ^-^

What is your method to overcome the acute need to access adult sites or even waste seed.


also,

How many chapters (and which ones) of Tehillim do you read per day; what about other scriptures?

Welcome to the family!
It seems you have a very strong desire to succeed, and that is essential to ones ability to grow.
If I may, though, comment on some of that which you wrote above. Note that I do this from love, not judgment nor hate.

First of all, 3 weeks clean is a massive accomplishment! God cherishes every moment we stay strong.
As well, it may be beneficial for you to make a smaller goal, like 50/90 days or something, instead of forever.

Regarding the ice baths/showers, it may be beneficial for you to examine what it is that’s driving you to want to act out, like stress, loneliness etc, besides the basic desire.
External things like baths are good for the moment, but in order to insure lasting change, we must deal with the underlying issues.

You ask how we overcome the “acute need” to watch bad stuff/masterbate.
The answer is, that one is successful when they realize and internalize that indeed, it is NOT an “acute need,” and that Man can function and lead a happy/fulfilling life without it.
Such a mindset shift is essential to lasting growth, and will do better in the long run then cold baths etc.

As you know, besides refraining from impurity, we are meant to add holiness in our life.
So I’ll ask, and feel free to not respond, do you have a connection to a Rabbi? Do you have fellow religious friends, or are you all alone? If possible, it would be most beneficial to surround yourself by those who share your mindset and goals so you can grow together.

There’s more to discuss, but I don’t want to over burden you now  
Welcome again to the family, we’re proud and happy to have you, and may you be successful in all your endeavors.

YeshivaGuy

Hi, thanks for the reply
Ice Baths and Cold Showers are being used by me because it seems that it works well countering the desire to waste seed, whenever it comes me jumping on ice cold water keeps me clean for the whole day
The cold shower or ice baths could be seen as a way to moderately "suffer" as part of my Teshuvah process, it gives you chills and is smth which surely counts in.

The thing is simple, the more I am refraining and guarding my gates the more things come up, and it gets harder by that - and I do not want to come up with what things came up but I am like 100% sure it is a test of some sort
I am near a Jewish community but ofc it is not smth I would share with anyone there because of the stigma, and they do not need to know. 

I am trying the forever timeline because it really is achievable especially with the help of the community, scripture and other methods.

I think that for the first  year or so, there has to be more time invested into GYE and other things  in order to overcome the initial feedback

Welcome aboard!

Wow 3 weeks is definitely a great start. Even being clean for one day is huge in Hashems eyes, so you could imagine what 21 days are in His eyes!

My take on the 'forever goal' is that in many cases it's not so realistic, but I guess it doesn't hurt to try.
But if chas vshalom it doesn't work, then you should make smaller goals, like 30 or 50 days, because that usually works for many. 

With whatever goal you have, it should be alongside the mindset of one day at a time. It's easier to overcome a desire when you know that you're only fighting for today, but tomorrow is another day.

Just be clean for today.
Then tomorrow.
Then the next day...

Keep on posting.
Share your struggles, it can make it easier many times.

Good luck

Hey there welcome!

Check out Rabbi Shafier's shmuzes. They are really good. Helps you grow in many areas. Www.TheShmuz.com and there also is The Shmuz app.

He also has a great series of lectures on taivah called The Fight. (See link to it below in my signature.)

Also you'll enjoy this great ebook The Battle of the Generation. (See link to it below in my signature.)

thanks for the reply,

It is just that I think that the forever goal is the only kosher one, ofc if there is a relapse there shouldn't be any loss of morale regarding it.

Addiction is simple, it has to be hushed away step by step, but some people do the cold turkey method and it sometimes works.

The step by step method could be easily mistaken as I will wait till like 90 days and then sin again which on itself may help cure the addiction but the sin,

6 months and a year should be the minimal goals everyone of us suffering from it should have, then we will look back as new people connected to Hashem with a healthy lifestyle and a very stable psyche.

I will be roaming here for a while trying to help and ofc even get help with the community and together B"H we will succeed and not leave one behind.