SB, i didn't quite understand what you meant by seperating from my family emotionally. I just had an amazing thought, just now when i was reading one of the posts. The guy wrote that in a way he fell worse after having clean days. I realized that the same thing happened to me, and maybe i should have never joined gye. I just realized 'kol hagodol meichaveiroi, yitzroi godoil mimenu' the fact that when i fell, i fell worse, shows that through gye, i became better, so naturally i had a bigger y"h. JUST UNBELEIVABLE, GUYS! So we may fall lower, but that shows that we've come better people. So when we climb back up, we can now climb a rung higher. I first fell after approx sixty, then after thirty three and then at thirty. The y"h just became bigger and bigger, as i was climbing higher and higher. A tremendous chizzuk. I spoke with my father on erev shabbos after not speaking for a long time and told him about what i was learning and tried to make it sound that i am very happy. I hope that helped. My mother's supposed to call me tonight about 'big stuff', so if i'm able to write about it, i will. Gut voch and a clean voch to all!

LM,you da man!
Sorry i wasnt by my store on friday.I took off the day and went out to eat with it25.
hopefully ill see you before i leave.
Keep up the good work!

What I mean is..well, there are a few things going on here that strike me as possibly being unhealthy.

Overall, though, it sounds like your family's involvement in this issue is making your own growth much more difficult - there are guilt trips, and you need to be even more careful to hide the things that you're doing to grow, etc.

So it's probably a good idea, for now, to get yourself a little more space, and that way you can become healthier. Then, from a healthier place, you can decide how to relate to your family in a healthier way, with clear boundaries on all sides.

Just edited some stuff

Hatzlacha is this area, and in everything you do!

Aleh Katan
Zeh Hkatan
Gadol Yiyeh

GEVALDIGGGGGGGG

KEEEP ON TRUCKING!

W
A
T
L

b

Just a quick update guys. I was by r' shlachter today. Recently my parents spoke to me about going into shidduchim. My friends are all beginning to get married, so they feel it's right thing for me to begin and that's why they encouraged me to disconnect from the internet. I spoke to r' shlachter about that and he explained that right i am that it will fill my physical and emotional desires somewhat. But sometimes when things get tough, one ends up finding ways of escape and m. etc. We spoke about the fact that there's no need to be fighting all ones life, and having a terrible struggle one's entire lifetime. That's exactly what i'm doing by him, we're gonna work out a way of not having to fight all ones life, but to feel happiness and satisfaction. He explained that by finding a way of 'trusting' oneselves we'd be able to connect more to the 'heart' than the head. That's we ended off today and he said we'd expound on it more, next time. AN URGENT REQUEST: I would like to keep my thread updated. Anyone willing to do it, please pm me as soon as possible by leaving a phone number to keep in touch. Be it anywhere in the world. THANX GUYS AND REMEMBER YOUR ALL VERY SPECIAL!!!

good to hear from you and your progress, my little leaf 

have an awesome shabbos!!

sorry, my caps lock is broken. that shoulda been louder....

Hi guys, just a quick pop in. B"h thirty six hours clean! But guys i can feel that i'm beginning to climb higher and higher. Hatzlacha to all! Loi-m ;D

LoMi. we're all very proud of you, May Ha-shem be with you and guide you to a successful place, I just hope that one day in five years from now, you will be able to look back at your whole GYE experience with  a big ole smile!!

loi-misyaeish wrote on 07 Jan 2010 21:43:


Good to hear you won't be completely leafing us.

I'm pretty busy these days, but we can try to work something out...

I tried calling you on friday to wish you a good shabbos, but your roommate said you weren't home...I though about askign him to tell you that your silent friend called, but figured you don't need the weirdness in your life. I'll try calling back today (tonight, for you).

HEEEELLLLOOOO GUYS!!! I hope that was loud enough for everybody to hear! I do not want to get 'addicted' to this forum, but i'm just connected for a few days. I first wanted to edit some stuff that i did not feel was so appropiate to leave on cyberspace so i hope you guys will forgive me for that. First of all i would like to mention that i noticed that gye succeeded in getting into the mishpacha in shevat, and that was really great and heartwarming to see what our beloved leader yaakov has managed to acheive. Yaakov is bringing back the wayward sheep just as our ancestor yaakov avinu did. Boruch hashem i'm not such a small leaf anymore and has grown since half a year ago. Reading over the thread made me realize what a siyatta dishmaya there was at such a dizzying speed to get me to leave the net. It was not an easy thing to do to leave all my beloved friends on gye, in fact heartbreaking. But it was a move that i had to make. But with the help of a great tzaddik called silentbattle, b"h i began to heal. Rabbosai i've got earth shattering news 'OVER SEVEN MONTHS OFF P., ALMOST THREE MONTHS OFF ANY TRIGGERING STUFF AND THIRTY FIVE DAYS OFF M. (a record since tishrei)!!! Hatzlacha rabba my holy brothers and 'TACHZIKU CHAZAK ALIM KETANIM SHELI...' Keep on fighting the holy war!!! 

I just had such a 'desire' to write another post. I was just checking on my 'old friends' post and was amazed. Kolel guy and it25 left the net. I'm sure they are shteiging away just like i am. I was in touch with it25 not so long ago by phone and he seems like he's been getting along great without the net. I wish that many guys would follow their footsteps and have a so much better life.  As someone put it to me recently, Gye is a sos call for those that need emergency help , but once one is begining to recover one has to begin taking steps alone without holding on a crutch. Gut voch. Loi-m( i did not give up and with hashem's help i'm beginning to get far in life)