I agree to Sapy, not that I am fully there yet but I'm definitely better than I used to be. 

Day 16 nothing to report so that feels good.

Last post before pesach. I am now 17 days. At some points this year I didn't think that number would be so high and some points I didn't think that number would be so low. But I will take it either way and hope I will only continue to get better every day one day at a time.

Thats a very positive mindset to have. Just remember that no matter how many days you get to, every day should be like day #1. You should be just as careful on Your current day as you were on the first day you started your streak. Do that, and I know your streak will keep on going! Have a great shabbos /Yom tov!!

B'H over Pesach I did not have any issues. I was a little nervous about Chol Hamoed trips that might put me in unavoidable situations that would be very hard but B'H for the most part I was able to stay away from any danger. There was only on time that I was put in a situation where I had plenty of opportunity to stare and look at the people ahead of us at one trip I went on but I was able to keep myself focused on other things and avoided looking at anyone through a lustful lens. I think this is the only option I could of hopped for in this situation because it is impossible to not see somebody standing right in front of you.

28 days now that feels like a nice number to be so close to 30 days. I believe this is my longest streak in over a year. I can't  say for certain because at certain points in the middle of Corona I was not good about keeping track of how I was doing at all. Which may have  contributed to me sliding so far down in the fight. I guess that is just another lesson to myself that if I am no ton top of how I am doing then in all likely hood things are getting worse. 

strugle613 wrote on 06 Apr 2021 12:57:

Mazel Tov!!
28 = KOACH!
May hashem give you loads of KOACH to be able to keep strong and win this great struggle!

Yesterday was not such an easy day. My brain seemed like it was starving for lust. I kept having these feelings that I should go peak here or go peak there to satisfy my craving. Besides the fact that I know just a peak is never just a peak. I also don't want to peak. It is not the type of person I want to be or should be. BH I made it through the day. Hopefully today will not be as hard with these feelings.

Well I yesterday was definitely not an easier day like I was hoping. I feel like my brain is starved for some stimulation and keeps coming back to me to say go look go look go look. If there was ever any doubt in my mind that this is an addiction I think yesterday can completely disprove that.
I know that really I don't want to look and that there are many reasons why I shouldn't give in. But at the time yesterday if you would of asked me to be completely honest I feel like I would of said I don't care anymore I just want to go and do it.
​I will end off today with a short tefilla for myself that Hashem should please help me that I should not have such strong desires today. 

I find that sometimes when I have these feelings for a few days, each day acting out becomes more of an option and I seem closer. What I do is to add another layer of commitment that forces it to become less of an option. This removes it from your mind to a certain extent because since you don't want to suffer the consequences you feel way less likely to give in,  so it lessens the intense drive. Like add a taphsic or the like. Whatever works for you.

Grant400 wrote on 08 Apr 2021 13:47:

I already do taphsic. (I believe it is really a double because I have rewards for successful days as well.) 
Perhaps I should consider adding on to it.
Thanks

Well I had a fall yesterday. It feels really bad. Especially after doing well for so long seeing a 0 on the chart is a little bit disheartening. From here I just have to make sure this doesn't spiral anywhere and I can keep things going. Make this fall into a trip not a nose dive.
​I have added extra precautions and safeguards to try to prevent future problems. ( I am a big believer  in Einstein's definition of insanity of doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results) So let us hope that my new safety nets will help me get right back on the horse to try and continue on this journey.  

I feel for you buddy, I really do.
Hatzlacha on the continued journey!
The good part is that after Shabbos you'll see 2 on the chart already

HappyYid wrote on 09 Apr 2021 13:44:

Well Sunday was super busy so I wasn't able to update and see the 2 but I got one better that today I see a 3.
I don't think I have felt this guilty about having a fall in a really long time. I hope this is a good thing that I will be able to use for the future to remind myself that I don't really want to do it.

Good for you! Not everyone feels guilty after falling, which usually makes it harder to stay clean.
So yeah hopefully you will use it for other situations where you might feel like acting out...