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Kollel Guy's 90 Days

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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

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TOPIC: Kollel Guy's 90 Days 18995 Views

Re: Kollel Guy's 90 Days 02 Feb 2010 18:10 #50642

kollel guy
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(Mrs. KG here, typing for Kollel Guy.)

Hey, everybody.

In case you're wondering where I was, I recently decided that... okay, I'll forget about writing this perfectly and just get the point across.

Basically, I see the computer itself as being more of an obstacle, actually, the main and central obstacle in my life right now. And although avoiding a problem entirely doesn't solve it, (this is a generally true concept in life), for now we'll leave things on the side and get back to life. Today was my second day in kollel, learning normal sedarim. I haven't touched the computer since Sunday. And although I feel like a sixty-five year old alcoholic who just finished with rehab and is trying to get back to life, finally free of the monster- (sort of feeling like anything that I accomplish from here on is within this realm of the bdieved) it actually feels very good in a way, like I am finally where I am supposed to be. Besides, at this point this is the best alternative, otherwise I see myself sitting on GYE for a year straight, without actually making any headway.

When I get my printer working again, maybe I will get my wife to print out the big book which I have downloaded, so I can read it without the computer. I still have a phone sponsor, so I am out of isolation, and I'll have my wife open up GYE here and there for me to see what's been going on recently.

I'll really miss you guys, you got me to places which I never thought I would get to. Both with your advice and suggestions- when trying to help me and others, as well as with your questions and calls for help which help remind me that I am normal, and am struggling with a very common problem, and not just a mess which "me the winner" ended up in.

The truth is, I am not leaving GYE. I can never do that, even if I never post again. I'll always be a GYE member, and I'll always take pride in that.

So I guess this is my sort-of Goodbye, in a way I hope to be back, but realistically I hope I will never need to.

Hatzlacha rabbah to every one of you, both current members "vasher ainenu po hayom".
Hatzlacha with your own goals, and Hatzlacha with your avodas hakodesh of helping other Yidden with their goals.

Kol tuv.

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Re: Kollel Guy's 90 Days 02 Feb 2010 18:14 #50644

BecomeHoly Current streak: 28 days OFFLINE Gold Boarder Posts: 262 Karma: 0	thats what I call good news :-)
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Re: Kollel Guy's 90 Days 02 Feb 2010 21:07 #50717

onelife Current streak: 6 days OFFLINE Gold Boarder Posts: 247 Karma: 0	hey KG, don't forget to tell us when you hit the 90... BEHAZLACHA CHAVER!!
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Re: Kollel Guy's 90 Days 02 Feb 2010 21:09 #50718

bardichev	WOW KOLLEL GUY YOU ARE ATZADDIK AND MRS KOLLEL GUY WOW U R REALLY GEVALDIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
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Re: Kollel Guy's 90 Days 03 Feb 2010 12:47 #50856

imtrying25 Current streak: 16 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 3010 Karma: 2	KG!!! Happy for you that you made the leap! Hatzlacha in alleh zachin. In lernin in ruchniyos und in gashmiyos. Fargest nisht mer daft dus oched! Bekitser im gonna miss you and your posts!! Wishing you the best!! A very sad but understanding friend, IT25
	Last Edit: by .

Re: Kollel Guy's 90 Days 03 Feb 2010 16:50 #50908

silentbattle Current streak: 1628 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 3734 Karma: 15	I will miss you, but I'm happy to hear that you're moving forward in life, and succeeding - and most importantly, feeling good about it. Rock on!
	Last Edit: by .

Re: Kollel Guy's 90 Days 03 Feb 2010 16:59 #50915

the.guard Current streak: 805 days OFFLINE Moderator Posts: 6438 Karma: 138	Beautiful! Good step!! Can you at least read (or have your wife read you) the chizuk e-mails each day? That will keep you connected with us in your heart and provide an important daily dose of chizuk!
	Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest. Last Edit: by .

Re: Kollel Guy's 90 Days 03 Feb 2010 17:00 #50917

bardichev	AND PUT UR WIFE IN TOUCH WITH SEVEN UP I NEED YOU AS GABBAI OF THE BARDICHEVER KLOIZ IN YERUSHALAYIM!!
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Re: Kollel Guy's 90 Days 05 Feb 2010 14:04 #51425

imtrying25 Current streak: 16 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 3010 Karma: 2	bardichev wrote on 03 Feb 2010 17:00: AND PUT UR WIFE IN TOUCH WITH SEVEN UP I NEED YOU AS GABBAI OF THE BARDICHEVER KLOIZ IN YERUSHALAYIM!! Me too!! Its too much for me to do by myself! :-\
	Last Edit: by .

Re: Kollel Guy's 90 Days 05 Feb 2010 18:47 #51478

Steve Current streak: 5034 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder I Posts: 903 Karma: 2	Kollel Dude, I am sad to read the goodbye, but happy for the reason, and excited to see what a wonderful, trusting and fulfilling marriage you two have. May HKB"H always bless you both with long, healthy, fruitful lives, filled with gevaldige aliyos b'ruchniyos and gashmiyos, and a home filled with Shalom Bayis and the Shechina HaKedosha. LEARN WELL!!!
	No one is so small that he can not give help, and no one is so big that he doesn't need it. Kol HaOlam Kulo, Gesher Tzar Meod, V'HaIkkar: Lo L'Pacheid Klal. Last Edit: by .

Re: Kollel Guy's 90 Days 10 Feb 2010 08:59 #52426

habaletaher
Current streak: 23 days
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Wow, reading your last post was a real Wow moment, the kind you only get once every few months if you are lucky.

Mrs. KG: You must be an incredibly powerful Aishes Chayil!!! May Ha-shem reward you for standing by your man and helping him conquer his addiction

Rabbi KG (yes, you just got smicha): I daven that you keep to this goal of yours to stay off the computer altogether!! You are a true eved Ha-shem and I tip all my hats to you!!!

After months of building up the potential energy while appearing not to do much on the outside, you burst through with an incredible conversion of all that potential to reality and it is awe inspiring just to read about it!!!

May Ha-shem give you what you desire most: Cheirus!!

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Re: Kollel Guy's 90 Days 11 Feb 2010 14:51 #52676

onelife Current streak: 6 days OFFLINE Gold Boarder Posts: 247 Karma: 0	hi (ROSH) KOLELGUY, hope you doing good, i saw you on the WOH 31 days clean 5 days ago, this is a big step! your ALIA RUCHANIT is not ALIA but its KFITSA (leap). KOT guy! we love you trust you.
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Re: Kollel Guy's 90 Days 15 Jul 2010 07:16 #74152

BecomeHoly Current streak: 28 days OFFLINE Gold Boarder Posts: 262 Karma: 0	how things doing w/ ya? :-)
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Re: Kollel Guy's 90 Days 18 May 2022 04:22 #380853

yeshivaguy
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Kollel Guy wrote on 11 Jan 2010 22:40:

DAY 6
Din't do jak today. Just sat around watching and on GUE.
I know it's horrible, but I do it anyway. I'm used to doing things I know are horrible.
BUT I was very good with staying clean, I even looked away entirely from a shmutzy scene, and since I was indoors the whole day, I didn't see any street pritzus either.
I gotta get my life back together already though, my wife's paitence is running out. Today she threatened to confiscate the computer if I don't stop abusing it.
Hey, it might not be the worst thing if she does.
So we made a pshara. I can use it for 15 mins every night with a timer that beeps.
That leaves me enough time to read the chizuk emails, check up on all my friends here, post a few things, and update my journal & 90 days.
So yeah, if you don't grab life by the horns, it grabs you by the collar, shakes you up, and puts you in your place.
I try not to think of how much I missed over the past few weeks, cause I don't want to focus on that now. All I have is a stark realization of no-nonsense reality. I feel like a 60 yr old alcoholic who just got finished with AA and is finally sober. He has what to be happy about, but look at all that wasted time. Besides, I'm not officially "sober" yet, I just managed not to mess up recently.
I have zero cheshek to go back to learning, and I gotta combine that with the memories of myself a few months ago - really excited about the next daf or siman.
But people have survived a lot worse things than just some "blah", this shouldn't be TOO bad, I can for sure break back into my learning if I keep at it for a few solid days in a row....Especially with the latest news from my bad habit buster .

Very powerful post.
I hope you’re doing well.