DAY ONE
OK, I feel like I should have done this on my 1st day, but I didn't. So here I am a few weeks in. I got over my fantasy of "Now that I'm part of GYE I'll never fall again" with a rather harsh way of being awakened. It's time to start down the path of real work, and real responsibility, and real kabolas ol.
So..... even though on my chart I'm at day 12 today, that's only according to the letter of the law. Meaning I didn't do anything which I wasn't allowed to do according to the rules. But in reality - it starts HERE. I know that today I really did mess up. I looked for it. Baruch H-shem for my filter (2 days old) - I didn't find it. But I looked for it, and that does count in shomayim.

hatzlacha, my dear friend.  We will be cheering you on.

DO YOU KNOW THE THEORY OF K.O.T. ??

DO YOU KNOW WHAT FELL SHMELL MEANS??

DO YOU KNOW THAT THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS ALL OR NOTHING??

DO YOU KNOW THAT THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS "ITS ALL LOST' ??

HEY BUDDY WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF bardichev

WHERE WE JUST "KEEP ON TRUCKIN"

NMW

NO

MATTER

WHAT!!!

YES,TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY.. BUT..BUT.. WHY WAIT TILL TOMORROW
(GUARD THAT IS A BRAND NEW bardism)

OK NOW

KEEP ON TRUCKIN"!!!

IM IN THE HUGE WOODFORD TRUCK IN THE LEFT LANE

NOORAH IS RIDING THE FIRE TRUCK

MOM IS IN THE 7UP TRUCK

KUTAN IS TOO SMALL TO HAVE A LISCENCE

DOV IS RIDING A TRICICLE BUT... BUT.. HE IS WAYYYYYY AHAED OF US!!!

SMILE MAN
bards

Good luck!

Hey Kollel guy. Your real lucky. You got a whole megilla from the rebbe. Maybe i should start over just so i could get one too. :D :D JK
Keep on rocking and as a real chassid of the bardichever ( who would of ever believed that??? ) FELL SHMELL! And why wait till tomorrow.

KG,
bhatzlacha rabah!!

Day 2
OK, no 1st seder today, missed zman ks, made shachris by chatzos literally, but no slip either!
WOOHOO!! Yeah! Well actually, it wasn't such a big deal bec my wife was home today, so no opportunity, but still. A clean day is a clean day.
Just gotta get back into a normal kollel schedule already. My big shitah is that the main avodah is preparation and avoiding the actual nesayon itself. And not having a normal schedule to be obligated to is like playing with a stick of dynamite at the campfire. One of these days I gotta get involved with one of those 12 step groups. I know this 90 day thing is very special, but it's not as solid as a real recovery program. But hey, I pushed it off so long - it can handle a few more days :D

I didn't see you in the shteible?? We needed a tzenter...

I was by the good old kotel.

Bard and what truck is guard riding??

loi-misyaeish wrote on 22 Dec 2009 23:33:


I'm holding on to the back of Dov's blue tricycle... WEEEEEEEEEEEE!

guardureyes wrote on 22 Dec 2009 23:39:
Oh i thought it was you with the walker!

KG. Keep up the good work. Happy to hear your day went well. I can very much relate to your feelings, being in kollel myself. weve gotta keep t our schedule or things get out of hand.

Good luck and Keep going.

DAY 3
OK today was good, although I think I'm developing another addiction.... to GYE!! I literally spent hours today.
But I went to all my sedorim, and made all minyanim, and didn't fall, so today goes down as a GREAT SUCCESS!!
Only problem is - everything is dead. Really, there's no life to anything anymore. I tried to listen to music a little today, just to try to connect with SOME level of feeling - but nothing.
Well, I look at the bright side. I'm so used to it, it hardly even bothers me anymore. I can live like this for extended periods of time without it getting to me. But in reality, this is not called ideal living. Life gotta be ALIVE. Davening gotta be with a CHESHEK!
But one thing at a time. Like Dov says "Baby steps".....
It's late gotta go 2 sleep already.

Hi Kollel Guy,

I know the feeling of getting addicted to GYE, I find myself wandering around other people's threads, and checking random responses to random responses!!! I'm also new here, and although not in Kollel, I totally know what you mean about the dynamite! The good old B-Talmud had it right, batala maivee lidei zimah, which loosely translates as: Unfilled time gets filled with shmutzy shmutz! Good luck getting back to a reg schedule!

Keep fighting the good Fight!!!
Haba