Don't Learn alone! Isolation is the Y"H biggest tool. You need to get out and DO stuff. I've said it many times. Don't wait!

BecomeHoly wrote on 28 Jan 2010 16:04:
Hey I'm trying. No not the person "Trying", she's not here anymore.
I'm seriously attempting to get myself into a schedule like that.
But as you can see - it's not happening so easily.

Remember the 12 steps - one day at a time.

What is the best way you can think of to keep a schedule for say an hour or two?

You choose the time, and make a schedule you think you have a good chance of keeping.

If you can manage just one hour a day for 3 days is very good, then extend to another half hour.

Remember small steps.

Kollel Guy wrote on 28 Jan 2010 16:11:


:D :D :D

I see that it is happening, though. Slowly but surely, you're getting to where you want to be!

DAY 22 Thurs Bishalach
Day went by uneventful, but I sense danger on the horizon.
Oh boy, the old "who cares" feelings are starting to set in again.
I know I will hate myself for doing anything stupid, but I just don't care now.
Really familiar feelings....
This morning, my wife suddenly decided she wants to do a white list.
Pain in the neck white list.
It blocks out a lot of GYE even though it's white-ed. I can't get to the 90 day chart, or any other links.
I had a bad image in my mind, I fantasized about what it would be like to have the k9 password.
I better not let myself down again, I mean it this time.
If there's a will there's a way, for better or for worse.
I hope I can light myself up a bit over Shabbos.

K= Keep
G= Growing


lame but true.

Kollel Guy wrote on 28 Jan 2010 23:26:


You can. You will.

Come up with a coupel of things that you can focus on when your fantasies start? have them ready...

Remember that no matter what, you're a special, wonderful, holy person!

Kollel Guy wrote on 28 Jan 2010 16:11:


That is why you MUST ignore the past and go out and do something. Right now. Its friday morning. Go to the nearest hospital and visit some sick people. Sing to them lkavod shabbat. Go make funny faces for the kids. Go OUT. removeyourself from the pit of isolation. Stop trying. start doing. Stop planning how to do it. Just do it. I know how it is... you plan, you wanna do it right, you think about how what if when. I learned last night - r' chanina ben dosa said, כל שמעשיו מרובין מחכמתו חכמתו מתקיימת.

You can do it. you CAN get past this. IF YOU DON"T GIVE IN TO THE Y"H nothing will happen! NOTHING.

GO GO GO ! :-)

שבת שלום!

oy yoy yoy shabbos kadosh.............

whats with our communal lechaim tonight??

what time??

caan i use coke??

imtrying25 wrote on 29 Jan 2010 10:17:
Our L'chaim is called for 8:15, and sure you can use coke...
Oh wait, you mean the drink coke? Oh sorry, I'm afraid that won't do. Needs to be something intoxicating.

Ok ill have to go get meself a couple of bottles of smirnoff ice. Theyre expensive you know?? Is this sponsered by GYE??   :D :D :D   ;D

Better than that - sponsored by GYE's sponsor - Hashem!

silentbattle wrote on 29 Jan 2010 16:15:
..........well then i guess my sponser wasnt too happy with me! :'( :'( :'(  :-\ :-\ :-\ :-\  :-[ :-[ :-[ :-[

Kollel Guy wrote on 28 Jan 2010 23:26:


dear (ROSH) kollerguy,
white list is the best thing you have ever gotten to yourself.
who cares the WOH? we can follow you here on the forum (may you can tell the guard to update for you, but he can do it just if you "still clean"  :D :D :D if not, not!)

im as you,
surf by rimon on very high  level protection , no chance to see garbage (i even don't try to)
and i'm grateful for her.

we told you, that  the days around 20+- are the hardest days, just pass them and your desire will be less and less.
afterwards you will see yourself ascend up and up quickly.

your filter tests won't help you to get rid of the desire.

we trust you GEVER, you gonna do that,
it is just the little hard begining.

Very true. I can't believe I heard about it before, and was expecting it, and was prepared for it, and am still having a hard time... like "I wasn't expecting this! I was expecting to have a desire for it, but not to actually be having a hard time!!"

I certainly hope so.

I'm taking your word for it, I don't yet have that experience.