Kollel Guy wrote on 19 Jan 2010 07:02:
Yiddle2 wrote on 19 Jan 2010 00:02:
Ur first seder chavrusa didnt show? is that a normal thing or this was a one time thing. Also the same thing with night seder....
Ummmm "no-show" means
I didn't show up.
I've been out of kollel for over a month now, following a big fall.
habaletaher wrote on 19 Jan 2010 05:28:
I've been following your thread for quite a while and without an ounce of judgment or anything, I can't help but be amazed, WHICH KOLLEL ARE YOU IN!?!?!? If you've been AWOL for a month and no one has said boo to you, maybe you ought to enroll in a diff kollel?
It's a very "everyone learns with everyone" type of situation, and the Rosh Kollel likes me. He asked me what in the word is going on, and I told him I'm in a big yeridah. So he said he'll wait for me to get back into things. I'm using other money to live in the meantime.
He was more concerned that my chavrusa thought I left because of
him, which technically could be true. He likes to go fast, and I have learning disabilities, and just can't keep up sometimes.
Besides, I'm starting to think that the whole kollel level is above my head. I'm like 15 years behind everyone else there. I only started learning very recently. I almost didn't learn a word throughout cheder, High school and Beis Medrash. I was the kid who would get the 20s and 30s on the gemara tests.
It can be very frustrating.
I'm not in any way trying to excuse myself. Even with all the drawbacks, I could still come on time, and do chazara and
basically know the stuff. I could without a doubt even be fluent in all the material we learn. But I'd just be putting in an enormous amount of extra effort, and I choose to let the necessary failures get to my head.
There's actually a BT in my kollel who's waaaaaaaaaaayyy less capable than me. And he shows up to
every seder, on time, learns with tremendous hasmada - the whole time, learns the whole bein hasedarim, and he doesn't manage to really get all the material, but still - he just continues to plug away.
I just have to be patient, and a little more responsible. I just don't have the "plugging away" personality. If there's a problem it bothers me. If I'm not being successful - it's hard for me to continue.....
I hope I'll just get back into things one of these days, and just come to the sedarim. That's my goal at this point.
my dear friend KG,
what do you think that if you are in a big yerida so a break time from the kolel will heal you and take you up?? >
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NO, NO my dear. i tell you that this is absolutely the YH advice. as long as you out of the kolel the time (along with the YH) will keep take you down and down
you remind me my son and i tell you why.
he do some mistakes when he reading (he's in class 5) and i tell him that in order to read well he should read a lot of books.
but he is lazy to do that although he has a very intresting books.
since i know that those books are really intresting i told him just to enforce himself to start read them. 10 pages enough
the begining was a bit difficult to him but after he began he continued to read and the rest was less less difficult.
he just had to start, to do the little effort to take the first step and start reading.
after that everything gonna be well.
so, you have to return to the kollel as soon as possible.
try that, my dear. if you won't take the first step now you will never take it.
as the song says "its now or never"