I think you should re-read this post. This could be a game changer if you are willing to think about it for a few minutes. 


Hi Reb Oived, 

There is one aspect that i haven't seen mentioned here. 
One of my main reasons to stop falling with P and M was and is simply so as to not be addicted! I want to be free, andi will not have a small part of my brain control me! When you think o about it, you will realize that im right. 
Imagine sitting somewhere with friends or family and having a good time, when all of a sudden someone catches your eye, and thats it, you cant think of anything else because you are being controlled! All you want now is to float away into fantasy land or to M or watch P to make the feeling stronger. Thats as addiction, and i dont want to be addicted to anything! I started drinking a bit of alcohol on shabbos, but I refuse to touch it during the week, I DO NOT WANT TO GET ADDICTED! Same thing with any addiction. Be free to live the life you want, and being addicted is not being free. 
I think you should think about this motivation, as its very powerful and has nothing to do with religion really or relationships, ITS ABOUT YOU!
I want to walk on the street without having to turn around to look at everything, i want to go weeks without having any impure thoughts, I want to be holy and pure because i like that feeling! Thats it!

Good luck

chancy wrote on 04 Apr 2023 16:16:

Sorry but I don't find this idea very compelling. Assuming that masturbation can ever be classified as an addiction, there's nothing wrong with having an addiction unless it interferes with your ability to live your life, which is generally not the case with me. That's obviously without bringing religion into the picture, which I am purposely not doing, because I don't currently find religious considerations to be motivating for me at this point. I hope that changes soon.

Anyways thanks for weighing in,
OivedElokim

I beg to differ. You don't want to be under the control of any addiction. Even if it is intrinsically benign.

Sorry to report that I fell. I put up a hard fight but I ultimately gave in to my basest instincts. BH I’m still clean from porn and will be keeping track of that Cheshbon separately, even though I’m gonna reset my counter.

My only takeaway is that I don’t have a strong enough “why” for avoiding masturbation. My main motivation lately was building up my streak, if I’m gonna be honest. I wasn’t doing it for spiritual reasons, and my success didn’t give me any spiritual enlightenment or satisfaction. I guess on a human level it felt good to be in control of myself but that’s about it.

If I want any hope of permanently cutting masturbation out of my life, I’m gonna need to come up with a very compelling reason to do that. Because it’s really pleasurable and is a great release and doesn’t harm anyone, at least discernibly.

All the best,
OivedElokim

frank.lee wrote on 05 Apr 2023 14:30:

This is a futile argument. If this mehalech works for you-amazing! That doesn't mean it'll work for me, as my experience has shown. Therefore it is not productive to keep repeating the same things to me in the hopes that I'll finally see the light. Again, thank you all for sharing your perspective, but the search is still on for a mehalech that works for me. 

A gut moed,
OivedElokim

Gut moed to all. To add my 2 cents to this great thread (that I haven't fully read, my apologies):
Although masturbating is physically pleasurable, at least in the short term, it is not pleasurable in the long term, as it will ruin marriage for a variety of reasons (not the purpose of this post), and a ruined, or even mediocre, marriage is not pleasurable, to say the least. So, I hear what you are saying [that masturbating is physically pleasurable], but just know that in fact masturbating is not benign, even from a non-halachic point of view (and certainly from a halachic point of view is it not benign).
And to clarify further for any bachur who is in doubt about the following: Marriage will absolutely NOT enable one to suddenly quit masturbating and lusting, and these things will ruin marriage for a variety of reasons (again, not the purpose of this post.)
Wishing everyone a wonderful Pesach free of lust!

frank.lee wrote on 05 Apr 2023 14:30:

This is a futile argument. If this mehalech works for you-amazing! That doesn't mean it'll work for me, as my experience has shown. Therefore it is not productive to keep repeating the same things to me in the hopes that I'll finally see the light. Again, thank you all for sharing your perspective, but the search is still on for a mehalech that works for me. 

A gut moed,
OivedElokim