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OivedElokim-I’ll never give up
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TOPIC: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 38159 Views

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 29 Mar 2023 19:41 #394106

  • emes-a-yid
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OivedElokim wrote on 29 Mar 2023 15:33:
Day #13

Don't have time for a longer post today. But I'm clean, BH.

See ya'll tomorrow,
OivedElokim

One more day till 2 weeks..!!! Incredible keep it up
To my dear friend reading this:
You are an incredible yid for just being on this site, I am breath taken after each post or new person that comes on and shares a bit about himself, keep it up. You guys are mamash matzlichim in your own ways of growth and Hashem is proud of each one of you! (that includes me too) lol.

KEEP UP YOUR TREMENDOUS UPLIFTING IN THE AVODAH OF EMES!!

Thanks for reading! Stay shtark, I am also being challenged, just build your confidence, never quit no matter what, you are your strongest enemy and yet you are your strongest savior so you choose, I am not saying it's easy but am saying it's possible just takes effort and work!!
-from Emes-A-Yid

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 29 Mar 2023 20:15 #394108

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Bh keep it up

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 30 Mar 2023 08:33 #394135

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Well done my friend,

Just one point: You mentioned above that numerous time you were seconds away from masturbation. I used to do that the whole time. Sometimes i succeeded and many times I fell. Withdrawing at that point is insanely difficult. For me it became a game changer to have an accountability partner for every time I touched my eiver, that way I could no longer allow myself to get to the stage you are describing.... 

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 30 Mar 2023 16:49 #394144

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OivedElokim wrote on 27 Mar 2023 13:59:

שבע יפול צדיק וקם wrote on 27 Mar 2023 12:50:
I've been struggling the last week. Your progress has inspired me today. Thanks, OivedElokim.

Thank you so much, I really appreciate that you shared that. It helps make my journey feel meaningful and worth it.

I wish you much success in your own struggles. May Hashem grant you clarity and motivation to pursue the goals that really matter, and may he allow you to enjoy the ride. 

All the best,
OivedElokim

Hi Reb Oived, 

There is one aspect that i haven't seen mentioned here. 
One of my main reasons to stop falling with P and M was and is simply so as to not be addicted! I want to be free, andi will not have a small part of my brain control me! When you think o about it, you will realize that im right. 
Imagine sitting somewhere with friends or family and having a good time, when all of a sudden someone catches your eye, and thats it, you cant think of anything else because you are being controlled! All you want now is to float away into fantasy land or to M or watch P to make the feeling stronger. Thats as addiction, and i dont want to be addicted to anything! I started drinking a bit of alcohol on shabbos, but I refuse to touch it during the week, I DO NOT WANT TO GET ADDICTED! Same thing with any addiction. Be free to live the life you want, and being addicted is not being free. 
I think you should think about this motivation, as its very powerful and has nothing to do with religion really or relationships, ITS ABOUT YOU!
I want to walk on the street without having to turn around to look at everything, i want to go weeks without having any impure thoughts, I want to be holy and pure because i like that feeling! Thats it!

Good luck

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 31 Mar 2023 00:39 #394172

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Day #14

I flew home (I still call my parents home home, probably will till I get married...) yesterday, will be here for a couple weeks. Very happy with the change of scenery, I really needed this break from my routine. Spoke to a new GYE friend on the phone while in the airport, really enjoyed it. You can really meet great people on here...

Anyways I didn't have many struggles today or yesterday, besides a brief one in bed. Generally I have a much easier time staying clean "bein hazmanim", which I know is probably unusual, for reasons I will not get into. I'll just say that I feel like I'm gonna be on "cruise mode" for the next few weeks. Of course I'm still gonna stay on top of my game, but it'll be easier, IYH.

Anyways thanks for reading, all the best!
OivedElokim
I am a bochur with a passion for meaning and truth, searching to remain clean and live a holy and fulfilling life.

If you are reading this-you have a friend in me.
Feel free to PM me and I'll share my offline contact information, so we can call and text. I'd be honored if you'd trust me with your story and promise to support you in any way I possibly can.
I've been on GYE for over 7 years. "I may walk slow, but I never walk back" (-Abraham Lincoln?).
(For the background and meaning of my username- see Tanya chapter 15).

My current thread 

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 31 Mar 2023 22:43 #394207

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Day #15

Clean, BH.

Good Shabbos!
OivedElokim
I am a bochur with a passion for meaning and truth, searching to remain clean and live a holy and fulfilling life.

If you are reading this-you have a friend in me.
Feel free to PM me and I'll share my offline contact information, so we can call and text. I'd be honored if you'd trust me with your story and promise to support you in any way I possibly can.
I've been on GYE for over 7 years. "I may walk slow, but I never walk back" (-Abraham Lincoln?).
(For the background and meaning of my username- see Tanya chapter 15).

My current thread 

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 02 Apr 2023 01:58 #394214

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Day #16

Gut voch.
Had a few urges over Shabbos but nothing too intense, BH.

All the best,
OivedElokim
I am a bochur with a passion for meaning and truth, searching to remain clean and live a holy and fulfilling life.

If you are reading this-you have a friend in me.
Feel free to PM me and I'll share my offline contact information, so we can call and text. I'd be honored if you'd trust me with your story and promise to support you in any way I possibly can.
I've been on GYE for over 7 years. "I may walk slow, but I never walk back" (-Abraham Lincoln?).
(For the background and meaning of my username- see Tanya chapter 15).

My current thread 

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 02 Apr 2023 20:48 #394255

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Day #17

Clean, BH

OivedElokim
I am a bochur with a passion for meaning and truth, searching to remain clean and live a holy and fulfilling life.

If you are reading this-you have a friend in me.
Feel free to PM me and I'll share my offline contact information, so we can call and text. I'd be honored if you'd trust me with your story and promise to support you in any way I possibly can.
I've been on GYE for over 7 years. "I may walk slow, but I never walk back" (-Abraham Lincoln?).
(For the background and meaning of my username- see Tanya chapter 15).

My current thread 

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 03 Apr 2023 22:39 #394300

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Day #18

Clean BH.

OivedElokim
I am a bochur with a passion for meaning and truth, searching to remain clean and live a holy and fulfilling life.

If you are reading this-you have a friend in me.
Feel free to PM me and I'll share my offline contact information, so we can call and text. I'd be honored if you'd trust me with your story and promise to support you in any way I possibly can.
I've been on GYE for over 7 years. "I may walk slow, but I never walk back" (-Abraham Lincoln?).
(For the background and meaning of my username- see Tanya chapter 15).

My current thread 

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 03 Apr 2023 22:54 #394301

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Just got really triggered right now, I feel like I’m about to fall. Posting for accountability… God help me!
I am a bochur with a passion for meaning and truth, searching to remain clean and live a holy and fulfilling life.

If you are reading this-you have a friend in me.
Feel free to PM me and I'll share my offline contact information, so we can call and text. I'd be honored if you'd trust me with your story and promise to support you in any way I possibly can.
I've been on GYE for over 7 years. "I may walk slow, but I never walk back" (-Abraham Lincoln?).
(For the background and meaning of my username- see Tanya chapter 15).

My current thread 

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 03 Apr 2023 23:21 #394303

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you got this!! keep on pushing through! be'ezrat hashem you will make it through now and you will continue overcoming your struggles!!!
ftc
If you are in the same situation as me, a bachur who’s fighting every day to break free, feel free to reach out to me at hopeful1245@gmail.com. I can use the chizuk from other bachrim and im sure you can use the chizuk as well. We are all in this together!
My thread on the forum

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 03 Apr 2023 23:51 #394304

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OivedElokim wrote on 03 Apr 2023 22:54:
Just got really triggered right now, I feel like I’m about to fall. Posting for accountability… God help me!

Hey OivedElokim, keep up ur streak- ur doing great!
To my dear friend reading this:
You are an incredible yid for just being on this site, I am breath taken after each post or new person that comes on and shares a bit about himself, keep it up. You guys are mamash matzlichim in your own ways of growth and Hashem is proud of each one of you! (that includes me too) lol.

KEEP UP YOUR TREMENDOUS UPLIFTING IN THE AVODAH OF EMES!!

Thanks for reading! Stay shtark, I am also being challenged, just build your confidence, never quit no matter what, you are your strongest enemy and yet you are your strongest savior so you choose, I am not saying it's easy but am saying it's possible just takes effort and work!!
-from Emes-A-Yid

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 04 Apr 2023 00:16 #394307

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Sorry to report that I fell. I put up a hard fight but I ultimately gave in to my basest instincts. BH I’m still clean from porn and will be keeping track of that Cheshbon separately, even though I’m gonna reset my counter.

My only takeaway is that I don’t have a strong enough “why” for avoiding masturbation. My main motivation lately was building up my streak, if I’m gonna be honest. I wasn’t doing it for spiritual reasons, and my success didn’t give me any spiritual enlightenment or satisfaction. I guess on a human level it felt good to be in control of myself but that’s about it.

If I want any hope of permanently cutting masturbation out of my life, I’m gonna need to come up with a very compelling reason to do that. Because it’s really pleasurable and is a great release and doesn’t harm anyone, at least discernibly.

All the best,
OivedElokim
I am a bochur with a passion for meaning and truth, searching to remain clean and live a holy and fulfilling life.

If you are reading this-you have a friend in me.
Feel free to PM me and I'll share my offline contact information, so we can call and text. I'd be honored if you'd trust me with your story and promise to support you in any way I possibly can.
I've been on GYE for over 7 years. "I may walk slow, but I never walk back" (-Abraham Lincoln?).
(For the background and meaning of my username- see Tanya chapter 15).

My current thread 

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 04 Apr 2023 03:48 #394315

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Brother I'm sorry for your fall, I hope you feel okay.

Maybe the question is opposite, why do we need masturbation in our life? If I cannot control it, why is it sooo important to us? What does it really give us? Pleasure, it's hard for me to believe that pleasure can control us, as if our lives depends on it and we lose our control over it. For me the honest answer was more.

Maybe write an honest letter to masturbation and thank him for what he really gives to you, it might give you some insight why it's so powerful.

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 04 Apr 2023 16:16 #394331

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I think you should re-read this post. This could be a game changer if you are willing to think about it for a few minutes. 


Hi Reb Oived, 

There is one aspect that i haven't seen mentioned here. 
One of my main reasons to stop falling with P and M was and is simply so as to not be addicted! I want to be free, andi will not have a small part of my brain control me! When you think o about it, you will realize that im right. 
Imagine sitting somewhere with friends or family and having a good time, when all of a sudden someone catches your eye, and thats it, you cant think of anything else because you are being controlled! All you want now is to float away into fantasy land or to M or watch P to make the feeling stronger. Thats as addiction, and i dont want to be addicted to anything! I started drinking a bit of alcohol on shabbos, but I refuse to touch it during the week, I DO NOT WANT TO GET ADDICTED! Same thing with any addiction. Be free to live the life you want, and being addicted is not being free. 
I think you should think about this motivation, as its very powerful and has nothing to do with religion really or relationships, ITS ABOUT YOU!
I want to walk on the street without having to turn around to look at everything, i want to go weeks without having any impure thoughts, I want to be holy and pure because i like that feeling! Thats it!

Good luck
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