OivedElokim wrote on 21 Mar 2023 00:47:

OE very happy to see and watch your journey these past 4 days, your an inspiration although it seems mynute, the writings of constant trying is so important and just by reading gives me hope and I would assume many others as well, I have read a lot of your situation and isn’t easy, but VIYTAR is your motto, love it very much. On the side note, I’m not sure if I told you about this online book, if your still interested I think you’ll love it, I really enjoyed it and I’m not as much of a reader or listener, I used audio read aloud and BH I read a lot, here’s the link http://easypeasymethod.org/easypeasy.pdf
and here’s the thread where I posted it
guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/391858-Effective-Idea-to-Endeavor-Real-Change-Bz”h%21%21

Day #5

Exhausted, lonely, stressed and anxious. 

But I'm clean, and that's a consolation.

I'll get through this in one piece, bezras Hashem.

Looking forward to another clean day
OivedElokim

I'm sorry for the difficulties. My dear friend, you don't have to be so lonely! We are here for you, reach out to some caring friends, we are here to listen, lend a hand and a heart to be part of your story. Keep posting and of course, Keep it up!

OivedElokim wrote on 21 Mar 2023 22:13:

The loneliness seems to come as if your missing out on the Lo Aleinu stuff.. your not! If anything Hashem is very proud of you and your progress. The step at a time is nice because you don’t get overwhelmed by the future, but at the same token maybe credit yourself for these small gains of days to help mechazek your mind for what you have done and how chashuv it is, and then the next day you will Bisyatah Dshmayah be way stronger!! 

hatzlacha, I am here if you want to speak, not that I know much but if you want to talk to someone, all the best

Day #6

Less stressed, still exhausted. Working on myself, my attitude towards this fight and life in general. I feel like I'm heading in the right direction, BH.
I cannot believe that I'm nearly a week clean, a feat that felt impossible several weeks ago. I've had long streaks before, but in recent months I have rarely went a day without masturbating. So this is remarkable. 

I started reading the Battle of the Generation again, liking it better then I did last time I tried reading it.

Anyways, thanks for following my journey,
OivedElokim

OivedElokim wrote on 22 Mar 2023 21:36:

Great progress. 
Hatzlacha! 
Happy to keep following your daily progress!!
Gishmak.

Day #7

Had a rough episode last night, was inundated with sexual fantasies for a good 20-30 minutes while trying to fall asleep. I was afraid I might fall but I pulled through BH. 

Went out for sushi with a GYE buddy to celebrate my clean week. We planned to reconvene for day 30. Looking forward.

Otherwise things are ok.

Thanks for reading, 
OivedElokim

Incredible, cheers to this and many to come

Your resilience is the stuff of heroes. You are inspiring the many guys who had constant falls and couldn't seem to buck the trend. Keep it up b'ezras Hashem!

Day #8



Thank you all for your kind messages, it really means a lot to know that I have a whole team of people to be accountable to and that are rooting for my success.



Pretty average Friday, nothing unique to report.



Looking forward to a clean Shabbos,

OivedElokim

OivedElokim wrote on 24 Mar 2023 21:37:

Locking in day 8 clean and Bh still at it is an amazing thing!! Credit yourself and keep going and growing!
Hatzlacha OE

Day #9



Gut voch!



More fantasies Friday night, but I weathered the storm. 



Onwards and upwards,

OivedElokim

OivedElokim wrote on 26 Mar 2023 00:04:

Awesome!! Love that! Keep that up whatever it is and tap yourself on the back for me, very proud for you 

Day #10

Clean, BH. Came close to masturbating last night in the shower, but I told myself that I didn't make it this far just to fall. Although avoiding masturbation isn't officially part of my 30 day goal, I still find that being free from that behavior over the last ten days has made me feel much better about myself, and I don't want to trade my heightened self esteem for 15 seconds of intense pleasure (no, I'm not one of those people who try to downplay how strong sexual pleasure can be, my attitude is that it's fleeting nature makes it not worth it in the long run).

Can't wait till Pesach break, counting the days. Also, I started a new Amud Yomi program (Oraysa) on Thursday (they just started Arvei Pesachim. Perfect timing...) and am looking forward to using the structure and schedule of that program to make Limud HaTorah a more consistent part of my life, and to grow in my knowledge of and love for Torah. Wish me luck!

Thank you for following my journey,
OivedElokim

Wow what a true genuine OivedElokim!!