OivedElokim wrote on 28 Jul 2021 04:48:

You don't need to worry about a plan that will keep you clean next year. If you'll say NO today, then afterwards stop thinking about it... you've won!

DavidT wrote on 28 Jul 2021 12:17:

Sometimes it's hard to make a concrete plan. To know exactly how and what to change can be difficult, and to accurately predict what will be in the future is even harder. And regarding effort, surely it's best to focus just on today, instead of trying to do the impossible task of "being clean 90 days all today," which just overwhelmes us.

But at the same time it's important to do things that will put us in a better position in the future.

To use an example I learned from chess: I read a book that explained that a lot of the moves we do in the beginning of the game are not done with a calculation of exactly what moves will happen afterward and the exact position we will be in later on. They are made because we know the general idea that it's good to have this piece in this spot. That it probably will be beneficial later on in the game even though we don't know exactly how.

I think it's the same thing here. Our efforts are limited to today, and our immediate goals and objectives our focus on today. But even though we are not planning exactly what to do down the road, it's important to do things that seem that will probably somehow be beneficial later on. We didn't make a direct action, and perhaps our plan does not focus at all on what we will do tomorrow. Our efforts and thoughts are all about today. But we do also need to add things that we might not know how exactly but it makes sense that they would strengthen us at some point down the road.

That's why it's good to add something like reading a book or listening to something motivational every day. We're not trying to fight tomorrow's fights today. But we are trying to make an imprint in ourselves or invest in ourselves today, without any knowledge of how exactly it will help us. We might not see any change in ourselves. But something small is happening. And everything adds up.

And you never know, maybe as a result result tomorrow's  battle will be easier. Or maybe it won't. Maybe a different day's battle will be easier. But we know vaguely that we are somehow putting ourselves in a better position. I think that's something that's important for us to do everyday.

(The resources I like are in my signature. But pick the ones that YOU like, which is more important.)

Do you have a mentor? Someone to talk to?

I find it important to get out of my head when I feel overcome by lust (actually when the build up starts).

I can give you my number if you'd like

Please do

So I have come to realize that I need to stop

Day 2

Day 5



Spending the week with family. minimal access to unfiltered devices, BH

Day 7

Been having a pretty easy time although I struggled a bit with an urge to masturbate a few nights ago. Over all the lesson is that cutting unsupervised or unfiltered devices out of my life is the best strategy. I think I may need to buy myself a laptop and install a filter so that I never have an excuse to use unfiltered devices. Gotta start saving up…

Day 9

Had a very vivid sexual dream last night and woke up very aroused. Really wanted to “follow through” but I found the strength within me to say no.  So I’m still clean, BH.

Day 11

Clean

You are amazing man. Simply amazing

Day 12

Was using my mother’s phone for something today. I was about to give it back and then I started thinking to maybe “utilize” the opportunity for some borderline stuff. Thankfully it remained in the realm of thought…

Starting yeshiva this week. Hoping it all works out. Very grateful to G-d for almost two weeks clean. I hope this momentum will carry me forward to many clean day.

OivedElokim wrote on 16 Aug 2021 05:13:

Wow! I’ve been in the exact same situation before, and know how hard it is to win that battle.
Very impressive.
Hatzlocha in Yeshiva!

Keep it up tzaddik. Each time you resist temptation for what appears to be so readily available and enticing, strengthens your "NO" muscle for future nisyonos.

After 16 clean days I fell. Still clean from porn though. Have to figure out how to avoid what triggered this fall…