jewregonnamakeit wrote on 22 Feb 2021 18:57:

I'll write you how SMART RECOVERY  considers relapses

A relapse (“lapse,” “slip,” “setback”) is one of the most frustrating, humiliating experiences you can face in recovery from any problem habit. It leaves you feeling guilty, ashamed and tempted to throw in the towel and just keep acting out on the addiction. Unfortunately, relapse is also common. According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse, 40 to 60 percent of people who go through addiction treatment programs go on to slip at least once. In fact, many people have multiple setbacks before finally achieving a full recovery.

Think of relapse as a stepping stone. Instead of viewing your slip as a step backward, think of it as a progression on your road to recovery. Many people lapse or relapse, and if you think of each attempt at sobriety as a means of getting closer to your end goal — a lesson in your cumulative recovery learning, so to speak — this setback won’t be in vain.

Look on the bright side. A slip may feel like the end of the world, but really, it’s an opportunity for growth and reinforcing basic life skills that need more work. Many people emerge from relapse with a fresh scare regarding what they are up against, as well as a deeper commitment to becoming sober. This renewed motivation can help you come back from a relapse even stronger than you were before.

Kol hakavod that even though you slipped, you were able to get back up and make a plan moving forward. I've found that going on GYE everyday (even multiple times if I feel im about to fall) has really been the most effective thing for me in this battle.  Also if you don't already, id recommend finding a partner on the partners program for added accountability so every time you fall or think you might fall, you can go straight to that person. Filters are also crucial; if you need a better filter, netspark has worked pretty well on my phone and webchaver screenshot accountability works well on computers (they can get expensive tho).

Anyways hope this helps 

Thank you so much everyone. B''H I have been clean since my last fall on Sunday. Spoke with my therapist yesterday and he agrees my plan is good. I will also be texting him daily to let him know if I am still clean, as well as to check in on other goals. Now there are a lot of people I have to let know in the event of a fall. G-d willing this will help me hold back.

Hi all, with infinite gratitude to Hashem I am 10 days into the rest of my life. These things are helping me so far:

1) Recognizing that everything in my life is connected: my urges to act out, mental health, physical health, relationship with Hashem, etc. Making improvements in other areas have improved my ability to deal with this addiction.

2) Accountability! With multiple apps, this site, and my therapist all needing to be updated if I fall (chas v'shalom) this has helped me hold back.

3) I also deal with procrastination that is probably worsened by this addiction. I have created a schedule to stick to and let people around me know to hold me to it. With less "dead time" and less frustration from coming up short in work/housework I am less tempted.

4) Education has helped, namely setting aside time every day to read (on GYE and other sites) about this addiction, particularly the negative effects it causes and the benefits people find when they quit.

Amazing! keep it up!

Belief is a powerful driver of change. Repeat studies have shown that people have more success replacing addictions and entrenched bad habits than those who don’t believe they can change.

Believing you can give up, allows you the space to plan how to give up, as you can focus your attention, energy and motivation away from the addiction itself to efforts to break and combat the addiction.

Change is possible. Humans are designed to adapt to change.

jewregonnamakeit wrote on 04 Mar 2021 16:44:

You make two opposite points here. One, that the addiction exacerbates your procrastination issues. Secondly, that the procrastination exacerbates the addiction.

Just a thought. I believe they probably feed each other, but primarily the latter, for a different reason than you wrote. 

The reason the addiction is fed by the procrastination, can be the following. When one isn't feeling accomplished and successful (for example, due to procrastination), he tends to turn to easy and quick gratification to soothe his feelings of emptiness. (Just as with any negative emotions; i.e. anxiety, stress, anger etc.)

So in essence, sticking to a strict schedule causes one to feel more accomplished, which will remove a large portion of the desire, in addition to giving one grounds to fight the urge. It isn't just about not having as much free time to dabble in these unfortunate activities.

emes

Yes, I 100% agree. I probably could have worded point #1 better: all of the things in life feed off of each other. For me personally, procrastination and addiction are two of my biggest problems, and they feed off of each other. Thanks for sharing your insight!

Yes! This is huge and can really help in making the current quitting attempt the one that lasts. (Thanks for your previous posts as well. Your support is greatly appreciated.)

Now holding at 15 days B''H. Keeping with my schedule and education--these are key.

Hi all, very happy to be at 3 weeks clean now. The biggest difference for me has been from how I am specifically doing things differently this time--added accountability, staying on top of exercise, and doing my best to reduce procrastination. This helps me believe I can do it, because I know that this journey is not like the times I have tried and failed.

jewregonnamakeit wrote on 15 Mar 2021 17:40:

You're one of GYE's success stories! Keep on being such a great role model for me and for others!

Amazing! It sounds like you're also improving your life in other ways. It's amazing to see how making a change in one area of your life can drastically affect another area.

Wishing you much improvement and success!

Thanks guys! Best of luck in your journeys as well! It's interesting how the different parts of life intersect--in fact, working to beat this addiction has been a big motivator for improvements in other areas.

B''H still going strong at 29 days. The changes I made after my last fall seem to be working. I have been feeling depressed the last few days, but from what I've read that's typical at this point in the journey. Many of my strategies for overcoming this addiction are also strategies for overcoming depression, so in the interest of keeping myself accountable, today I will:

• Go to the gym
• Spend some time outdoors
• Dedicate some time to reading a book