Hi guy's,

I'm new here to this program, and have been reading the posts here with facsination, so much love and respect here plus lots of helpful information.

I'm currently holding by my 36 clean day of the 90 day journey, my longest clean streak in over 20 years (applause please)!

My primary goal in this journey is to quit porn and masturbation for good. My secondary goal in the long term is to stop fantasising and guard my eyes.

Now here's my problem chevra, 
As it becomes easier overtime to abstain from porn and masturbation, I'm finding the urge to fantasise and look at women on the street becoming stronger.
So my delimma is should I concentrate on my primary goal and ignore my secondary goal for now, or pay attention to both goals simultaneously as to keep my primary goal in check??

I'm really struggling with this issue so would really appreciate your thoughts and feedback

Thanks guys

welcome
im no expert in self control [more than a decade to prove that] but ill give my opinion anyway.
it depends on how you abstained from mast.. and porn, if you were self motivated through sheer willpower [and maybe some tips] than if you continue to fantasize it will just end up breaking you down.
however if you practiced some sort of therapy, than i can see how you can be rewired not to turn to porn & mast..
i personally dont find fantasizing a problem to begin with so i might not be the best address/
36 days is huge.. keep it up!!!

Hello and congrats!!! That's a huge accomplishment! 

I'm just struggling to understand your dilemma. If you would be working on fantasizing and have a question regarding stopping P I would understand, because P may remove the intense desire to fantasize. But now that it is the other way around, do you feel that fantasizing is what gives you the ability to stop P? That without fantasizing it would be impossible? Or are you just concerned with overloading the system? 

Personally I would think that allowing any lusting will just make it harder. We all know that every trigger makes it more difficult. So don't you feel that fantasizing only intensifies the desire to watch P or to take it a step further whatever it may be?

Hope that sharing my thoughts doesn't make me seem like a pest but rather indicates that I care...Hatzlacha and thanks for sharing! 
           
                                    Grant

Hi, jack and Grant.
your both amazing, thank you for your thoughts. You both seem to be gently pointing to the same direction. It's all part of one package and one cannot really be cured of one part without the other. But as Grant so adeptly points out I'm concerned of overload.
My mentor from the partner program sides quite strongly with this opinion also, but im still not convinced.
I think its gonna be a bit of trial and error and learn on the job sort of thing... ... I'll let you know how its going.